What makes me happy.
Well there are 2 things that currently make me happy and I will list them in the order of happy to happiest.
Happy. Reading a book. My father was an avid reader and some of my earliest memories of him were of him sitting in the living room recliner with a book and within easy reach would be a glass of whatever he was drinking and a snack of some kind. As a result I was never into sports, I wanted to be just like my dad. That in combination with me being painfully shy, almost to the point of it being a detriment to my social life and life in general made reading for me my favorite pastime. As I got older my dad would finish a book and leave it for me. I had a college reading level in the 3rd grade....read the three musketeers in the 6th grade. My dad passed away in Feb 2009 after a long battle with diabetes and heart disease at the age of 59. Sometimes when feeling bad I just pick up any book and open it up and smell the pages and I am reminded of him. It is also fun reading books that I know that he has read and its like being able to share somthing with him even though he is gone. I find myself wondering what he thought of certain parts of the book or what he was going through in his life at the time. One kinda cool thing. My dad read so much there is family photos of him reading and in some pictures I can just make out what he was reading. If it turns out to be a book I havnt read yet I go out and get that book and its one more link to him. Not only that but I have a time stamp via the picture and I can ask my mom what was going on in his life at the time the picture was taken.
My daughter. I Never thought about having children and to be honest I think was against it. The world being such a crazy place being one of the reasons. Then there is the sheer responsibility of it all. I am not afraid of responsibility, but in the case of a child you can be a great parent and one bad decision can affect a child in such a way as to damage them in many ways. When I was 22 my gf at the time became pregnant. I was all for having the baby but her churchgoing mother told her that an abortion would be the best course of action since we were both so young and her already being a single mom in foster care with a history of sexual abuse by a family member. To this day I am still mad about this situation but I cannot hold a grudge forever against someone that passed away years ago ( her mom died not to long after convincing her daughter to get a abortion). I can see her concerns but even adoption would have been better but...
Fast forward 10 years or so and my GF then gets pregnant. Now I am still scared to death of the situation but again I am ready to man up. Again it is taken out of my hands when she decides that to abort is the best option.
Fast forward to a little over 3 years ago. My dad is in the hospital and had many complications and dies and is brought back. It was a miracle that he made it back at all to be honest. My gf and I are on the way to visit him and while driving to the hospital she tells me that she hasnt had her period in 2 weeks ( which isnt a big deal as she has a strange cycle. She can actually go 3 weeks with no flow sometimes). She tells me that this time it feels different though. On the way we stop at a drug-store and she picks up a pregnancy test. We get to the hospital and before we go to visit my father she uses the bathroom. Pregnant. I start crying, I am worried that what has happened to me in the past with not being able to help with the decision might happen to me again. We were a relatively new couple having been together about 6 months and were being careful so I had no idea what her feelings on the subject were.
We sat down in a empty visiting room and we looked at each other. I said that I wanted to have the baby no matter what and luckily she was of the same mind-set. We then went to see my father. Luckily he was doing good at that time and after asking him how he was feeling etc..we told him he was going to be a grandfather. Since he had been brought back from the jaws of death he had alot of foggy moments, luckily that wasnt one of them.
Fast forward to 2009. I started reading to my daughter the same books that my dad read to me. As she gets older I will of course start checking old pictures of my dad from when I was little and see what he was reading..........Circle of life.......
Win lose or draw thank you for letting me talk about two very important parts of my life,
Now you know that I would have to add pictures....
Midnight's dance recital: ( bet you woulda never guessed her name huh lol )
With her cousin Josh:
With her best friend:
Dance recital , main dance