Wife doesnt like guns--what can i keep around the house

[.LuD.]

I have an idea: Sell your wife* ?







*Joke

[HeavyHanded]

Somewhat humorous response to the "take her shooting" suggestions. Did that with the wife a long time ago (been together 24 yrs). First time out she's shooting about 2" at 15-20 yrds or so with a .22 rifle standing. "That's some good shooting" I encourage her. She shrugs, hands the rifle back, says something like "How hard can it be, little kids and gangbangers use them to shoot people all the time." She never came out again. She works with a lot of inner city folks, many victims of gun violence and their immediate families. She understands and respects how I feel, but I am never going to change her mind on this.

Far as she's concerned the only time any of my guns have been helpful was when I put out of its misery a cat that got got hit by the car in front of hers. She brought it home and there was nothing else to do for it. Had a collar but no tags, the vet wouldn't put it down without cash up front (we had very little money then) and Animal Control never picked up the phone. Not the sort of thing I'm going to bring up when we talk about what good guns are for...

[HeavyHanded]

Ghostdogg, you probably didn't realize what a pack of bickering old ladies were are at PracTac..

Anyway, you already have the Kabar, throw in a tomahawk trainer and tactical hawk, (if not just use a hammer). This is an awesome demo of hawk application. In fact, I may have to pick up one and start working out with a hammer again myself. I use a rolled up section of hanging carpet for contact drills. Don't do a lot of swinging without hitting something - like throwing full speed punches at the air its not good for the joints.

[SVRIDER1]

I am sure you have already explained police response times, and how there are 2 types of break ins those with the intent to steal...easy in easy out planned around the house being empty( the one you tell her to hope that happens) and the other where the intent is also to steal but with the added bonus of rape and torture then murder( then one you tell her to pray never happens and it does happen look at those people in ct ....I bet they all never thought that was how there night was going to end up). After all that, see if she is ready to takeover the job of family protection and home defense ( because she expects you to do it, but it's the same as her asking you to eat soup with a fork ). If she is not then she does not get a say in the method.

I get it. I went through the same thing. My wife had no exposure to firearms...that equals fear instead of healthy respect for firearms. My wife asked me before we got married what my intentions were with storing my firearms longterm. I explained that I had guns in my hands since I was 7 and that they would always be within hands reach till I was 107. The best thing you can do is take her shooting, teach her and make it fun and safe and start small ( .22 ). Show her how it will be stored and how you will access it. By the way my wife turned a complete 180 and now shoots on a regular basis.

No disrespect to your wife, I completely understand...I have been there. With that being said it is easier to ask for forgiveness than it is permission. If you still can not convert her in a reasonable time( I will say 2 months of range trips, gun and safe ( or lockbox ) shopping ) then just go get one put it in a lockbox and tell her it's just important documents. If you never need it thank God, but if you do let her yell at you all she wants for stopping some animal from bringing harm to her and the kids.

[jimh0220]

I'm really having a hard time trying to understand this statement. Are you saying that you believe that the only reason to own a gun is to shoot someone?

If you want it for self defense in your home, the yes. What are you thinking? Stroke the barrel on their cheek and show it off? You got it for that, then you better be ready to use it for that. That doesn't mean that guns can't serve other purposes, as they do. But the op is looking for a sd gun alternative, so then it is for killing if he were looking for a gun.

[Zero_Time]

Are we supposed to conduct psychological evaluations of every person who posts on this forum before we reply to their questions? Accurately diagnosing the mental illness of a total stranger over the internet far exceeds my abilities.

Should we require a note from a psychiatrist or a marriage counsler? Should we require a criminal background check?

How do you know that when a person asks "What folder should I get for EDC?" over in the General Discussion forum that they aren't suicidal and going to use it to cut their wrists one day?

The guy said his wife had issues with him having guns. No one is asking what those issues are, or asking if it's possible the issues are with him. No one here is asking good questions, they're just rubberstamping "Wimmenz are scared! Get a gun and forget her silly feelings! She'll love you for it11!" The fact that no one is asking the questions is my issue.

Re: the knife thing. I have yet to hear of any major bladed weapon incident in the US since the '60s that made the public and politicians reconsider their knife laws. Not true with firearms. I like being able to keep the equipment I want, and if that means trying to limit the number of potential psychos who would bring undue regulation, then so be it. I also think the gun size fits all approach to life is incorrect. Many problems can be fixed with it, but not all.

Zero

[Clang!]

If you want it for self defense in your home, the yes. What are you thinking? Stroke the barrel on their cheek and show it off? You got it for that, then you better be ready to use it for that. That doesn't mean that guns can't serve other purposes, as they do. But the op is looking for a sd gun alternative, so then it is for killing if he were looking for a gun.

And now that we have moved completely off topic.....

Keep the wife.
Make your home less likely and harder to get broken into.
I don't know what kind of neighborhood or dwelling you live in, but I'm assuming that if you're asking then there is a considerable chance of a break-in while you're home. If not, then good luck convincing your wife you're not overreacting.
There have been a number of melee weapons suggested. I don't know your training, but go with whatever you are the most comfortable and familiar with.

[SVRIDER1]

I'm really having a hard time trying to understand this statement. Are you saying that you believe that the only reason to own a gun is to shoot someone?

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If you want it for self defense in your home, the yes. What are you thinking? Stroke the barrel on their cheek and show it off? You got it for that, then you better be ready to use it for that. That doesn't mean that guns can't serve other purposes, as they do. But the op is looking for a sd gun alternative, so then it is for killing if he were looking for a gun.

That's great! " stroke the barrel on their cheek and show it off"...if you have to drive a nail you grab a hammer, turn a screw a screwdriver...somebody in your home or personal space with intent to do deadly harm, a gun to keep that from happening(keep shoot'n till they ain't moov'n).

What part of staying alive do people have a problem with? I don't get it!

A gun is tool just like any other, by design or neccessity it can be used in various ways or circumstances.

[killgar]

Ghostdogg, you probably didn't realize what a pack of bickering old ladies were are at PracTac..

Anyway, you already have the Kabar, throw in a tomahawk trainer and tactical hawk, (if not just use a hammer). This is an awesome demo of hawk application. In fact, I may have to pick up one and start working out with a hammer again myself. I use a rolled up section of hanging carpet for contact drills. Don't do a lot of swinging without hitting something - like throwing full speed punches at the air its not good for the joints.

I think you know that I respect you HeavyHanded, but I would never want to get that close to an intruder in my home. Especially one who might have a gun in their hand. And especially if I'm the only thing standing between the intruder(s) and my loved ones. One of the nice things about a firearm is the distance it can give you.

To reiterate my previous point, considering what is at stake regarding home defense, namely the lives of your loved ones, I could not bring myself to recommend anything less than a firearm, as long as a firearm would be a legal option. Of course if the OP is firm about not trying to change his wifes mind on the subject, oh well, it makes no real difference to me. Just wastin' time on the internet.

[killgar]

The guy said his wife had issues with him having guns. No one is asking what those issues are, or asking if it's possible the issues are with him. No one here is asking good questions, they're just rubberstamping "Wimmenz are scared! Get a gun and forget her silly feelings! She'll love you for it11!" The fact that no one is asking the questions is my issue.

Re: the knife thing. I have yet to hear of any major bladed weapon incident in the US since the '60s that made the public and politicians reconsider their knife laws. Not true with firearms. I like being able to keep the equipment I want, and if that means trying to limit the number of potential psychos who would bring undue regulation, then so be it. I also think the gun size fits all approach to life is incorrect. Many problems can be fixed with it, but not all.

Zero

I see your point and it's a good one. The problem is this is the internet, and we are all just strangers here. Of course you are certainly free to ask the Op any questions you want regarding why his wife doesn't want him to have a gun. However, that doesn't mean you are going to get an accurate answer. I don't imagine the guy is going to say "I suffer from post traumatic stress disorder, regularly beat my wife, and have compulsions to kill her".

Because the topic of this forum often involves the use of weapons and deadly force, on some level we have to trust that we aren't talking to people who are psychotic and preparing to murder people. We're only mortal after all and cannot read peoples minds from a few post on the internet, no matter what they tell us.

As far as your concern about stricter gun laws, I don't know how many people are murdered every year in this country with guns, but I imagine it's a pretty high number, yet it's been many years since I've seen any push for more gun-control. There was a time when a mass shooting would automatically result in calls for stricter gun-control, with political action to follow, but things are quite different today. Look at how many high-profile and mass shootings we've had in this country in just the last few months, and yet I see NO call for stricter gun-control, none at all. Even in an election year the Democrats (who used to push hard for gun-control at every opportunity) don't want to go anywhere near the topic.

I agree with you completely about wanting to keep guns out of the hands of people who shouldn't have them, but like I said, we are only mortal. Not even the FBI and all the law enforcement in this country combined can prevent some WRONG people from getting their hands on guns. And while I agree that a gun is never a garuntee of success in any defensive situation, like I said, if I'm the only thing standing between my loved ones and a couple of murderous home invading rapists, I'd want the most effective weapon in my hands as possible.

[HeavyHanded]

I think you know that I respect you HeavyHanded, but I would never want to get that close to an intruder in my home. Especially one who might have a gun in their hand. And especially if I'm the only thing standing between the intruder(s) and my loved ones. One of the nice things about a firearm is the distance it can give you.

To reiterate my previous point, considering what is at stake regarding home defense, namely the lives of your loved ones, I could not bring myself to recommend anything less than a firearm, as long as a firearm would be a legal option. Of course if the OP is firm about not trying to change his wifes mind on the subject, oh well, it makes no real difference to me. Just wastin' time on the internet.

No doubt a firearm will work more reliably in most situations - it stores its own energy and releases it instantly with the pressure from one finger. Not all that long ago I used to keep a 12 ga and handgun handy, but started calculating the angles in my house and likelihood of pellets or slugs penetrating into other rooms in my house, or a neighbor's house. When I lived in the boonies, these weren't much of a concern. When one lives where you could just about lean out your kitchen window and hand a neighbor a jar of Grey Poupon in their dining room, other considerations start to factor. I have a coworker who's emphatically expressed his determination to kill anyone that harms his family - whether its a neighbor shooting an intruder or not, whoever fired the bullet is going to catch some from him. I'm not sure I feel that way, but I have to admit to seeing his POV. If someones zeal to protect them and theirs completely disregards my safety in the process, they're not much better than a criminal.

I also did a few dry "sweeps" through my house and discovered I had a multitude of pinch points where I could easily be close enough for a goblin to grab the barrel of a long gun or be at the extension of my arms before or in the instant I could make eye contact, let alone an accurate ID. In fact there were very few "firing lanes" in my house at all. If my only safe option in the event of a break-in/home invasion is to wait at the top of my stairs for the cops and listen to my dog whimpering out the last of his life while my house gets ransacked, I can do that with any hand weapon capable of downing a man with one hit (FATMAX framing hammer was one of my choices) - the shotgun becomes less useful and is actually a liability the entire rest of the time it sits waiting with its stored energy ready to go. If I hear a noise, don't know what's going on and decide to move toward it, I'm really not at a disadvantage with a hawk, hammer, machete etc IMHO because I'll be at or one step from handweapon range anyway by the time I ID the threat.

As my kids get older and their friends start coming around, I'm not comfortable relying on solutions that might waste an innocent. Eg, a retired police chief on vacation up near where I do a lot of camping shot and killed his adult son recently in a darkened hotel room. The man was taken to a hospital where he remained for quite some time ( the father, not the son, son was DOA) probably due to a complete mental breakdown. I'm willing to bet he'd give his own life for a chance not to have had a gun on him - ever. They're no free ride, accidents happen with the best of training. I like to think if I do start to get busy on what I perceive to be an intruder, I might be able to choke up my swing, turn the machete/hawk to hit with the flat, whatever to turn a deadly hit into one just requiring hospitalization and some rehab should I think he's no threat or even a friendly. A firearm gives you one option.

Also, I had my kids late. Any reason I can come up with to keep myself in fighting shape will only improve my quality of life in every other way too. Training with weapons is the ultimate for hand eye coordination, grip control, core muscle workout, hand speed etc. When you're relying on this to defend your house, you take your workouts seriously.

Everyone's situation is going to be different, and I'm certainly not anti gun, but as so many pro-gun advocates say "its just a tool". Individuals have to decide if its the tool that makes the most sense for the job they need doing. Not to sound cocky, but I'm not any more afraid of getting into bad breath range of a goblin with a nasty handweapon than I would be with a handgun (Note: I'd be plenty scared either way). From what I've read, impact weapons actually have a higher on-scene incapacitation rate than handguns, but cannot find the article that made that claim...

In any event, my WASR is ready to go should law and order break down, but I won't be using it to clear my house.

[killgar]

HeavyHanded, clearly your position, and your choice of tools for home defense are very thought-out. Though I may disagree with them, I still respect them.

As far as the issue of a firearm posing a risk to innocent bystanders, that is always a possibility that and home gun owner needs to consider. Personally, and as callous as it may sound, I've chosen to put the safety of my loved ones above all other life on earth. I know that the police won't hesitate to shoot a threat who points a gun at them even when there are innocent bystanders behind him, this is official police policy. I value my life and the lives of my loved ones no less. But I don't judge people who would choose not to use a gun in defense of their loved ones for fear of innocent casualties, even if I don't understand such a position.

[hhski]

Plus a whole bunch on this post.

The Prac Tac answer to life the universe and everything seems to be "Gun!" for everything.

What knife would be okay as a back-up defense item? I live where I cannot carry a gun.
Get a gun.

My knee tendons are torn, and I'm wondering what exercises might help restrengthen to avoid further injuries.
Get a gun.

I'm going to visit a foreign land where I'll be imprisoned for 18 years if I get caught carrying a gun...what would you do?
Get a gun.

It's a wonder I'm still alive after all these years walking around without carrying a gun...

I'm with stabman. I'll be married 25 years in 2 mo. I didn't have a gun our first 6 years of marriage. One Christmas there were 2 deaths during robberies. I bought a gun. My wife hated it. You know the drill if you have one you have.... Well I kept them in a safe and a gun vault. I taught my kids about them and that if they ever wanted to shoot one with me to leave them alone till they were taught how to use one. They are grown and away. My wife every now and then asks me why my EDC is not on the night stand when I go to bed. Although she is uncomfortable still with one I think she is more uncomfortable without one nearby.
I would ask for forgiveness before permission.
With a knife baton bat my fists I have to get too close a pistol for now .

[72jroberts]

Ghostdogg:
Here's my story: Met my girlfriend, she knew I had guns but didn't like it but wasn't freaked out and didn't take a stand like your wife. I used sneakiness to get her desensitized to guns. She's an elementary school teacher and I persuaded her to learn about how to unload an auto and revolver just in case a kid brought a gun to school and didn't mean any harm, just being a dumb kid to show it off. To learn to unload a gun safely could be useful..... so she allowed herself to be taught. Then I got her to go to the local indoor range months later (after we got married ) to shoot my ruger MK2 .22, and she really liked shooting it, and then guns weren't an issue. Im not stupid, you guy's situation is probably different, and what worked for me won't work for everyone. BUT I hope that if it is important to you to have a gun at your house and not at your brother's, then instead of your desires being dismissed, you should have a frank discussion with your wife that It's not cool that she does not consider what is important to you at all, especially if you vow to have proper places to lock em up like a pistol safe with a keypad or whatever. If you let her lay down the law about this, without any compromise, soon down the road she will run your life to the nth degree. And honestly, maybe you are the type that is ok with that- and I mean absolutly no disrespect to you when I say that. Also consider the fact that you are relyling on your brother to be the steward of a dangerous weapon that belongs to you. He out of love is holding onto it but he may not like having your Glock at his house-its not his, it's YOURS. Lastly, it's OK to let this process take some time, but if you feel strongly about it, you need to talk to her about your feelings. Otherwise, if you don't give a crap, then don't frame your post like you did, with the subtext being, " I like guns, but honey don't like guns". Frame it like, "well I don't care about having guns enough to rock the boat". Ok enough of that. Go buy a bat. You hit a thug with one of those and keep it up for a few whacks and they'll be beggin for mercy.
John

[Nntrance]

Coldsteel ball-headed war club

[fuzzwuzz133]

See if you can get a decent quality crossbow with around 150 pound draw weight. Shouldn't be a problem.

[BOSS1]

Well, I would say you're probably not the first guy to paint himself into this corner. Did firearms ownership come up prior to the walk down the isle? If not, they probably should have if its important to you...but that boat may have sailed at this point. If it did, what was said at the time? Did she say ok, or tell you they wouldn't be in the house? That's an important point.

My advice would be to find a good, reputable female firearms instructor that offers an intro class to firearms, preferably in a women's-only class...they are out there. Have the Mrs. attend without you. She might be surprised to find out how many decent, honest people, particularly women, are out there that enjoy firearms and/or are in a similar situation. She might develope a whole new appreciation and enjoyment for them.

If that's not possible, got a friend who's got a wife/gf that likes shooting? Make a double date out of a range trip, start with .22's and go from there.

Otherwise, buy a comfy couch and stand your ground, or give in, in which case I'd suggest solid core doors w/ good locks, an alarm system, and baseball bat, and/or Taser and/or pepper spray (depending on what's legal in your area).

Food for thought: Consider having a will drawn up where if you're killed by violence in the home, all your assets go to someone other than her...(your parents, brother, NRA, whoever) and have her sign it. That's an extreme situation, but might give her some perspective if its really an important issue for you.

Good luck,
BOSS

[rmbonham]

I suggest keeping a different wife around the house...

[average gimp]

Hate to echo what so many others have said, but I'd say lose her. I have no problem with people who choose to be afraid of inanimate objects, so refuse to have those objects around them. But her insistence at your being relegated to second-class defensive tools, and thus less safe, is as morally bankrupt as pacifism. If--worst case--your defense fails, how secure is she in her physical strength to keep herself safe?

Changing the minds of such people, in my experience, is counterproductive. A grossly emotional response will never respond to logic.

[Nntrance]

Imo, and I know I will get crap for this but grow a pair dude! You are the man of the household are you not? This is not about sexism but rather about you being the man of the house.You are the more dominant creature, you are the first one she would come to if there was a break in, you are the one that needs to call the shots.I actually think she would respect you more and it might even be a turn on for her for you to establish that it's going to be your way or the highway. I reckon she would never actually leave for something like this.