Wife doesnt like guns--what can i keep around the house

[SVRIDER1]

This is still a no brainer as far as I am concerned. Go out and buy a club that sits next to the bed ( for her piece of mind ) and then go get your gun from your brother, buy the lock box for "important papers" and don't let her have access to it.

So there is my recommendation for what can be kept around the house....a club
Like I said it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission, God forbid you ever need it the discussion of "lying to her"(we call it protecting her) will not carry much weight.

[Dago Red]

A lot of guys have said the same things I will. doesn't hurt to see a quorum on an issue though.

Did you get bait and switched? A couple of my buddies and I call that what happens when the "wife to be" behaves and says one thing before the wedding, and I joke that as soon as they say "I do" it all becomes "I don't". It would seem to me that guns would have come up while dating, it is possible though that the way things are going in our world with increased violent crime you are feeling the need to be more protected. Sure there's lots of things that are potentially dangerous that you could have in your house if you just legally could not have a gun. I'd feel a hell of a lot more comfortable with a gun in my hand than any of the aforementioned alternatives.

Maybe this gun thing is the ONLY issue you and your wife differ on. If so then you're probably lucky overall. If not then like almost every other guy I've met who's wife was adamant about something, there's other things too. I'll tell you the same thing I've told lots of buddies before they had kids, get out now. Once you have kids you'll put up with an endless supply of shit because there's kids involved. Before kids there's no reason to put up with anything.

They make these safes now with the easy to open finger pads, takes a few seconds twice a day to take a gun out or put a gun in. I have a 4&6 yo girl, I also concealed carry, but see no need to while I'm in my house. I don't have a fancy safe but it isn't that much hassle for me to twice a day dial the combo on my small closet safe and put it in/take it out. (locked up if I'm not here and it doesn't go with me). My daughters have both been told that they don't touch it, they've been around me shooting and have a respect for guns and in two weeks the 6yo is going to shoot for the first time (22, same one I learned with) the 4yo can too if she wants. The 6yo asked me if I'd show her so I know it's the right time.

I'm a believer in need and not have have and not need. If you have it 99% you'll never need it. I hate gambling on not having something and end up being the person that wishes they did.

Good luck.

Red

[BOSS1]

Greetings again,

I would caution you before throwing in the towel just yet...and use caution listening to those that suggest same. That might be a very over-simplified/shortsighted perspective. There would be alot more to be discussed before that would be sound advice. In all actuality, you should probably put the 'D' word out of your mind at the moment. Unless you're very newly married with little community property (ie live in a small apt. w/ Ikea furniture) divorces are often messy and unpleasant. Depending on how long you've been married and the laws of your state, she now may be entitled to 50% of your retirement, and she'll get her 80% 'half' of everything. You may only wind up scraping by living in a tiny apartment for the next few years (or longer) to pay her alimony. If you're not eligible for an annulment, think twice...But if she's turning into wife-zilla...there is the saying "Why are divorces so expensive? Cuz they're worth it!"

There's LOTS of things to consider before you get to that point. As I mentioned earlier, was the issue discussed before you got married? If so, what was discussed? If before marriage guns in the home were discussed and OK, and now she's pulled a complete 180 on you, that could be a red flag of future drama. But marriage is a series of compromises, and unfortunately husbands seem to make the majority of them. I was at a swap meet last weekend, and there was more than one old couple walking around with the gentleman having 'that look' on his face where you could tell going with her to the swap meet was the path of least resistance. There's a saying that when a man and a woman get married, the man never wants his wife to change (stay young, fun, exciting) and the wife wants to change/fix all her husband's shortcomings. Sometimes true and sometimes not. Long story short, I have yet to meet the married couple that doesn't have their differences, myself included. Just cuz you walk down the isle doesn't mean either of you become a mindless, opinionless tool. If you stll love everything else about her, this is probably a solveable issue. Perhaps there's a reason she has her feelings about guns (hopefully it isn't based on all the internet crap about how dangerous they are). That might be something to discuss...did she have a bad experience? That might explain alot. Maybe you just need more man-space in the garage??

But the days of the 'man of the house laying down the law and that's the way it is' are pretty much gone in many cases, cuz for every forum like this, there's probably a 100 on-line women's groups they plug into with their smart phones or on-line where they're all telling each other how they are the ones that make the rules in the home, etc etc etc. Men are from Mars, Women, Venus, blah blah blah. Since the first caveman settled down with a single cavewoman, there's been 'issues.' Pick your battles. There are issues I won't budge on, but they're few and far between...and I'm willing to put my money where my mouth is on them. But as I say, very few...

There's issues where you may have to stand your ground, and some where you may have to compromise...only you can figure those out for yourself. But sounds like you two need to be having some serious discussions. I would also re-emphasize trying to find the women's only training class or a female shooter. That might work wonders. Marriage counselling might also be an option.

One point that is solid advice tho...don't have kids until you're reasonable certain that this is going to go the distance.

Good luck,
BOSS

[emtdaddy1980]

If she wont allow the Glock with a laser, could you maybe talk her into an english longbow and a headlamp? I second the idea of introducing her to the guns and educating her about them, taking her to the range etc. My wife was very scared of guns when we met, but she got used to them....and now doesnt bat an eye when my .40 gets tucked into the nightstand at bedtime, and ive got bambi burger in the freezer right now compliments of my 10yo stepson.

[emtdaddy1980]

If shes so against the Glock and the laser how about a longbow and a headlamp? Just a thought....... Less John Rambo and more William Wallace :-) In all seriousness though Id agree with those above who say to take her to the range. My wife was terrified of guns when we met, but now doesnt bat an eye when I tuck my .40 taurus to sleep in the nightstand. Ive even got some deer steak and Bambi Brats in the freezer right now thanks to my 10 year old stepson. Just take small steps and do everything you can to help her get over her phobia.

[emtdaddy1980]

sorry about the nearly identical double post, my phone went completely rainman on me and i didnt think the first on posted.

[BePrepared]

No one tells me how to protect myself. I will not allow my wife, or ANY person to do such a thing.

You have to determine what you're willing to put up with...

[Nntrance]

I'm almost starting to the think OP is a troll , where is he?

[HeavyHanded]

I'm almost starting to the think OP is a troll , where is he?

Probably got tired real quick of people telling him to ditch his disposable old lady and her overbearing demands on their relationship...

[BePrepared]

Probably got tired real quick of people telling him to ditch his disposable old lady and her overbearing demands on their relationship...

What did he expect? Did he think we'd all be supportive of her anti-gun nonsense, and jump on the emotional support bandwagon?

Stupid is stupid, whether you're watching it on the news, or it's sitting on the couch next to you watching the news with you

[HeavyHanded]

Plenty of folks ask about non-firearm options on this forum - MA training, blades for SD, etc and don't receive the kind of responses this man (combat vet BTW) got, all because he was foolish enough to give some background. If he'd spent any time lurking he'd have known better. Instead of assuming he's old/experienced enough to make the larger decisions by himself the guy gets a bunch of instruction in how to be a man and practically has his wife called a controlling b!tch or outright useless. Gee, I wonder why he stopped responding?

[BePrepared]

My only opinion on the Non-firearm options is that there are none that will work if you end up face to face with a man carrying even the crappiest pistol

A knife is fine for chopping wood, or as a backup to your EDC pistol, but it is NOT a viable substitute

Being rude to/about the guy is probably unnecessary, but he DID ask for opinions, and the general consensus opinion seems to be "don't let a woman stand in the way of your safety"

[stabman]

"don't let a woman stand in the way of your safety"

And I say "Don't let a friggin gun get in the way of continued sex with the woman you love."

Guns are kind of neat, and I have a bunch myself...I also have a wife.
If the choice was gun or wife, I throw the damn guns in the river.
When I was single, and lived in an area where crack heads abounded, and prositutes banged on the door, I slept with a large knife near me. I didn't have a gun at that point.
The junk yard behind there had the occasional murder, and less occasional raping.
And I felt perfectly safe, behind I realize one simple fact:

Attitude trumps equipment.
Every single time.

People fixated on guns to the point of losing sex over them makes less sense to me than just about anything else.

[BePrepared]

Guns can get you sex...? wait, that's the wrong answer

I was always clear with everyone i dated that i had guns, and would continue to have guns. I can't imagine how a man could get to the point of marriage and not have already fully clarified that point

My wife doesn't love guns... she's downright indifferent to them, but i can't imagine her ever telling me to get rid of them, and i don't think she could imagine that i'd do anything but ignore her if she did.

[Nntrance]

And I say "Don't let a friggin gun get in the way of continued sex with the woman you love."

Guns are kind of neat, and I have a bunch myself...I also have a wife.
If the choice was gun or wife, I throw the damn guns in the river.
When I was single, and lived in an area where crack heads abounded, and prositutes banged on the door, I slept with a large knife near me. I didn't have a gun at that point.
The junk yard behind there had the occasional murder, and less occasional raping.
And I felt perfectly safe, behind I realize one simple fact:

Attitude trumps equipment.
Every single time.

People fixated on guns to the point of losing sex over them makes less sense to me than just about anything else.

I understand what your saying but how about the wife see the bigger picture and stop trying to call the shots? The man obviously wants the guns for protection.Why does she need to have to control the situation and get in the way of that? I would never allow my woman to try and control me and call the shots in that way.I don't think the issue is even really about guns really..more the fact she is trying to control a situation that she shouldn't.

[Nntrance]

i don't think she could imagine that i'd do anything but ignore her if she did.

Agreed, this is like me as well.

[stabman]

Not everything in relationships is about control.
But this isn't the relationship advice thread (although you wouldn't know that from just about every response).

[BePrepared]

Not everything in relationships is about control.
But this isn't the relationship advice thread (although you wouldn't know that from just about every response).

Everything in a relationship is about one of two things. Control, and respect

The former results in situations such as what led to the creation of this thread. The latter results in a general appreciation of each other, and an acceptance of what is important to your mate.

[stabman]

Everything in a relationship is about one of two things. Control, and respect

Nope, that's what's important in gangs.

If you view relationships like being in a gang, then sure, you need a gun.

[alude904]

Cant there be compromise? I understand that when you are married and in love sacrifices have to be made but looking at this situation, there doesnt seem to be any compromise. Its looking like this is a one way marriage. No offense to the op, hes sounds like a hard working and very loving husband. Im not a womanizer and believe in womens right and a 50/50 relationship but it sounds like shes running the show. And considering the fact that he served our country and has firearm training she has no reason to be concerned.

But if theres no compromise then i would suggest something to keep the distance between you and a bad guy. While a knife is always good, a bat or club is better. That is my opinion though