Benchmade Closes doors for good.....

M

Mike Turber

Joined
Oct 2, 1998
Messages
5,461
Benchmade sent out a private email over the weekend to all it's employees, dealers and distributors announcing that it is shuting down efective today.

All warranty issues will be handled through an arbitration board and current stock and parts were seized late Friday afternoon to be held for such issues.

The email further states that Benchmade may rebuild over the summer and a new company will be launched only using female employees. The letter stated that 80% of the production at Benchmade was produced by females and the men working there just simply did not work. They played with the knives all day and nothing was done and production went down over the last few months to near zero on all teams who had more than 50% men on them.

So look for the new company to launch in 6 month with an all new name, BITCHMADE :D

If you got this far and did not realize this is April 1st well SMILE someone had to do this and it may as well be me :D
 
'scuse me whilst I pick myselp up off the floor :D

Sheesh, seeing the title of that post, and the Mike Turber name alongside it....reminds me of a joke someone told me last night - "did you know that the word gullible isn't in the dictionary?" :D

Good one Mike!
 
When I challenged my wife that "gullible" was in fact in the dictionary, I was halfway to the bookshelf before I realized just exactly how big a dumbass I am.

So you can bet that I let out a "WHAT!?" halfway down this post. You're the devil.

Zero
 
So is it, or is it not in the dictionary? I am so confused..... :D

Now I am willing to bet that at least 20 people will go and actually look it up! Now those who do MUST report back here and let us know ... heheh God I love this place!
 
OK I am back :D

Main Entry: gull·ible
Variant(s): also gull·able /'g&-l&-b&l/
Function: adjective
Date: 1818
: easily duped or cheated
- gull·ibil·i·ty /"g&-l&-'bi-l&-tE/ noun
- gull·ibly /'g&-l&-blE/ adverb
Click to expand...

Yes damnit I had to look.......
 
Well, I have to give credit where credit is due - it was our very own Gary W. Graley (G2) who slipped that one into my brain last night via chat.

Ya wanna talk about a devil, give him a few minutes and he'll turn your head inside out AND have ya buying Wharncliffe folders to boot!

:D ;) :p ;) :D

Happy April Fools' Day!

Matthew
 
I actually TOTALLY believed this until the last couple of lines.

:o
 
Turber, ya bastid! Ya got me, but in my defense, it is morning and I have had only 2 cups of coffee. Good one!
Now, let's seriously explore this new company, Bitchmade. Just think, there is a huge untapped market for the female knife knut. They could be marketed with pastel colored zytel or micarta handles, can be given feminine or even GRRRL type names. Better yet, have two divisions, one for girly girls, and one for GRRRLS. Way different marketing schemes there.
Off to do some pondering, Mongo
;) :rolleyes: ;)
 
In a related email, Chris Reeve stated that due to the extreme quality of the Tom Mayo knives, he would be closing up shop as all that people ever did with his knives was trade them for TNT's. He said that he will close down the shop for a few years while he goes to study under the tutiledge of Mr. Mayo.
 
For a while there, you had me. I was thinking "Damn!!!! Good thing I'm holding onto my Pre Prod #117 BM160"
 
Good one Mike!
And yep, Starfish, glad to see a proper use of that question, gets a few people to start thinking! :)

G2
 
Mike, I think you're the first prankSTER to look up gullible in the dictionary!

Who wants to bet that a few weeks from now someone'll be asking about rumors that Benchmade is shutting down? :D

Zero
 
Mike...If you'd have said that about REKAT, I WOULD have believed you! (I wouldn't have liked it, but that WOULD have been believable.).:D.
 
That's an old one. Last year it was a Benchmade gag too, wasn't it? I seem to remember something about "Benchmade closeout prices". Funny.
 
Whenever you see "Benchmade" in the title of any post by Mike Turber, you know the subject content's a load of crap...

:D

Sorry, Mike, had to have a little fun with this one! Happy Fool's Day everyone!

Professor.
 
The letter stated that 80% of the production at Benchmade was produced by females and the men working there just simply did not work. They played with the knives all day
Click to expand...

Leadership comes from the top, you know. It's up to the senior executives to set the example. All Les does is play with knives all day, that's for sure. It's Roberta that runs the place.
 
Better get addresses for everyone on the Bali Forum. Need to get aid cars near all their residences for jump starts. You know how intense they can be about their favorite knife. Two hundred Joules, clear... :D
 
Yeah, I heard that Bitchmade was going to open up with a new line

Titanium
In
Titanium
Series

Wait 'til you see the new thumbstuds...
 
I must have turned paler than a sheet when I read the header! Good one, ya got me! :) Now seriously, can you tell us more about Bitchmade?!!!
 
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