I love you too... (a PG-13 joke)

NickWheeler

NickWheeler

Joined
Dec 3, 1999
Messages
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A man escapes from prison where he has been for the last 15 years. He breaks into a house looking for money and guns, but instead finds a youngle couple lying in bed.


He wrestles the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, and then ties the wife to the bed. He gets on top of her, kisses her neck, and then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's off in the bathroom, the husband tells his young wife, "Listen honey, this guy is obviously an escaped convict, just look at his clothes! He probably has spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't been with a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy has got to be really dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us for sure. Be strong honey, I love you!


To which his wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's super gay, and thinks you are cute, and then asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!!"


:D
-Nick-
 
hey nick i didnt know you had a wife :D
and please don't finish your story for us even if your shrink wants you to get it off your chest
 
GEESH!!!Nick don't drop the soap and watch out for the sand in the Vaseline. :eek: :eek: Dan Gay Oh!!! Gray told me his bad times with the sand. But that was just orally speaking or 1st hand experiences or anually (sp HEHEHE???)encounters. :eek: :eek: HEHEHEHE!!!!! :D
 
NickWheeler said:
A man escapes from prison where he has been for the last 15 years. He breaks into a house looking for money and guns, but instead finds a youngle couple lying in bed.


He wrestles the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, and then ties the wife to the bed. He gets on top of her, kisses her neck, and then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's off in the bathroom, the husband tells his young wife, "Listen honey, this guy is obviously an escaped convict, just look at his clothes! He probably has spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't been with a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy has got to be really dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us for sure. Be strong honey, I love you!


To which his wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's super gay, and thinks you are cute, and then asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!!"


:D
-Nick-
Click to expand...

How can you tell if your roommates gay?

His **** tastes like sh*t.


What do you call a gay lumberjack?

Spruce.
 
adammichael said:
How can you tell if your roommates gay?

His **** tastes like sh*t.


What do you call a gay lumberjack?

Spruce.
Click to expand...


Holy crap man!! I about spit up my coffee! I had heard that top joke awhile back, but it has been a long time. :thumbup:
 
A guy is in line at the supermarket when he notices that a rather hot
blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him. He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says "Sorry, do you know me?"

She replies "I may be mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of
one of my children."

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful.
"Holy crap," he says, "are you that stripper from my bachelor party that
I screwed on the pool table in front of all my friends while your
girlfriend whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my behind?"

"No," she replies, "I'm your son's English Teacher."

Thank you, im here all week - try the veal

 
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