Injury Stories or "Don't try this at home kids"

Tim Flanagan

Moderator - Auto Forum
Oct 2, 1998
For thoses of you who don't follow the newsgroup, there has been a running thread on injuries, which I've been asked to contribute to ;-)
This past Sunday the wife and I picked out and cut down our Christmas
tree. Not the usual 8' monster, but just a normal 6.5' toy tree. Arrived
in the driveway. Decided that I'd poke the necessary holes in the base
of the stump (for proper capillary action) with my Sebenza. On the third
full force stab, the tree rolled and my left hand followed it. Only
reason I knew it didn't hit the tree was the lack of the satisfying
"thunk" and the replacement sound of a sickly "squish" that was the meat
between the thumb and forefinger. I quickly clamped down on it with
right hand and told wife to get ready for a trip to the Emergency Room,
but not before noticing that the muscle and fatty tissue had risen up
above normal skin level by about 1/2".

The cut was about, oh, 1/3"-1/2" deep and about 1.5" long. Rather
disconcerting to see one's own muscle...Took a couple of internal
stitches and 11 externals to close it, not to mention the 5 hours in the
ER. And I have to see a surgeon to make sure nothing vital was severed
(doesn't seem so).

I'm just thankful I wasn't using a pointier knife- would have gone clean
THROUGH my hand. Also, thankful the Sebenza was as sharp as I keep it-
nice clean cut- didn't hurt at all... until after 3 hours of squeezing
it to try to stop the bleeding. And, in case anyone is wondering, the
Sebenza lock held up fine on full force stabs- in tree AND flesh (thus
proving for doubters it can be an effective defensive weapon!). Sure
does make typing a pain, however....

Wonder if the Christmas tree should have a label saying DO NOT STAB or if the Sebenza should come with a card- "not for stabbing Chrsitmas trees." ;-)

Top that!

Nor'east Knives

There are two rules for ultimate success in life.
Never tell everything you know.
Another thing you should never do is leave your knife sitting on your lap and stand up and accidentally kick the tip of it with your toe
. Its the oldest trick in the book and I learned it the hard way twice.

...Or play with a Nemesis while proof reading a paper on the rise of the 2nd two party system, and while not aware of the orientation, push the release and put Walter Brend's grind skills to the test.

Luckily the Nemesis springs are weak, and I only ended up with 1/6 inch in my palm. Can't believe I'd ever be thankful that MicroTech put weak springs in any of their knives.

Sigh. My turn. My very *first* was pretty funny.

I was about 10, had just got a stupid little cheap clone of an old Boy Scout slipjoint folder with two blade, can opener and an awl widgie. Long blade was about 3". Showing off for my kid brother and a friend I did a "chopping demo" on a 1" thick weed shaft which I held with my left hand in a "saber
grip" type hold, thumb out and along the branch.

So when I chop with the right, I take off the outer 1/8" of left thumb.

Basic owww. I've got my back to the two witnesses and when I squeeze the thumb pad, it squirts. The other two don't see it. So my kid brother starts laughing, and I turn around and SQUIRT HIM. My buddy starts
laughing, so I nail him too...both shriek and I start chasing 'em all over the back yard and house using my thumb like a "supersoaker" except "cherry colored".

Ahhh yes. Fond memories of youth.

Jim March

Like Jim I was about 10 also and decided to carve my initials into a hockey puck with a small Case Hunter (about 4 or 5 inch blade if memory serves me). So I'm sitting in a lawn chair holding the puck with my left hand and carving away with my right when the blade just slipped and skimmed across the top of the puck and stopped on my palm and bottom fingers. Like Jim said Super Soaker time LOL. A trip to the ER and everything was fine.Of course that was just the beginning of a 40 year run of cut hands and punctured parts of the body.On the bright side if I collected guns then I would now be dead.
I think my first knife-related accident happend when I was probably 4 (or something like that) and after finishing my meal, I noticed an empty milk carton on the table and decided to see who's who so I took a mushroom knife with a 2,5 inch sheepsfoot blade and started cutting away. I held the carton in it's place with my left hand and stabbed the carton. I managed to make a hole in the side, near the corner and started to push the blade down and it was easier than I had expected and my palm was in the way...Mooooommyyyy! This wasn't the last time I made a boo-boo with a knife, but when I was little, I had more luck with knives than with glass.

My first incident with a knife was when I was about 8. I found one of my dads utility knives and proceded to whittle on a piece of wood. When you are cutting towards you instead of away from you and the knife slips...I think you know what happens. Anyway, I had a big gash going halfway up my thumb. It bleed forever. From that day on, my lesson had been learned.
Almost had a good one to tell here. I caught a friend just as he was about to open a Dalton OTF with the little "this way" arrow
pointed towards him. No doubt that would
have made quite a mess!
Just this afternoon I was sitting on the couch admiring my Black Cloud Valerie. I was holding the knife in my left hand, laying down on my left leg. I went to cross my legs and swung my right leg up on top of my left, driving the tip of the dagger through my jeans and about 1/4" into my calf. Ouch! Somehow, when I jumped up, I ended up with a surface wound on my left index finger also. I just never learn.
for some reason, when I was 11, I decided to open a bag of Doritos with a butcher knife. (any opportunity to use a knife must be taken, right?) Holding the bag in my left hand, I brought the knife down in a slashing motion onto the bag, and the knife stopped with a solid "thunk." No pain, but knife was imbedded in my thumb below the nail. I let go of the knife with my right hand, but strangely it stayed in place . . . for a second or two, then it dislodged and dropped to the floor. I and my brother just stood staring at my thumb silently, like some strange insect, and THEN it started to hurt, and bleed! Not a lot of blood in that area. But now the nail on that thumb grows out with a very odd distortion from the damage to the nail bed . . . DUH.
My story of injury was not my own but I was there. When I was a kid my dad would catch bullhead and channel catfish out of the lake in our back yard. This was a weekend ritual. After giving the fish a slight whack on the head my dad would hang'em on a on a big hook srewed into a fat pine tree down by the lake. Skinning of the catfish would commence, all the neighborhood kids would watch in awe as my dad(using his sharpest filet knife) would start the surgery. All kids were insructed to stay back...a little. Once cut, my dad would stick his knife in the ground and proceed with stripping the fish of his hide.
An over eager friend of mine interested in the bloodiness stepped in for a closer look at the fish. As he stepped back, barefoot, I watched the heal of his foot engage about three inches of the filet knife sticking in the ground...ouch! It sank in like butter, at least an inch deep and about 2 inches high. Catfish the dumb kid! A long story but I remember it like it was yesterday. Hope it made someone cringe...just a little!


This happened to a man I know in England. As a child, he was playing with a six inch kitchen knife he secreted out of his family kitchen. After playing with it a while, he decided to climb the large oak tree in the yard. Not wanting to take the knife up into the tree for "safety" reasons, he thrust it's point into the trunk of the tree. He climbed about ten feet up into the limbs when he lost his grip and tumbled out of the tree. You guessed it, he had stuck the knife into the trunk "sharp edge UP." As he hurtled toward the ground, the back of his thigh contacted the sharp edge, cutting the muscle to the bone! It would have been worse except his thigh was large enough that he also made contact with the knife handle which protected a portion of his leg. Blood everywhere. And to this day, he has a slight limp and a healthy respect for sharpened steel! An aside to knives, as a four old child, my best friend and I found an old rusty car in a field near home. In the glove box was a package of old, rusty double edge razor blades. My friend eased one out and said, "should I show you how they test these in the factory to see if they're sharp?" He then proceeded to stick out his tongue and run the razor blade down the tip, opening a half inch split in the end. Wide eyed in disbelief, I helped him home. When I saw him two days later, he talked like a parrot!
This one happened to a friend when we were both probably in our early teens.
He was using an X-acto knife with an extra long utility blade to cut balsa for a model airplane. He was working on a desk with a slightly inclined surface. You know what comes next. When he set the knife down it rolled right off and fell point first into his thigh. It went right through his jeans and drove at least 1" of blade into the muscle. I start to laugh every time I think of that thing sticking out of his leg!
Well, I don't have any particularily gory stories to tell about myself, but do have a nasty tale about a fellow I worked with. This guy (we'll call him Al, since that is what his name is
) was renovating his house. After filling a crack with expanding foam he proceeded to cut the dried foam with one of those "break off" utility knives. Anyhow, sure enough, the damned thing broke while he was slicing the foam and the broken piece flew up to strike him in the eye! Whew, bad juju there. He now has an artificial lens sewed onto his eyeball.

Ya know I've never trusted those utility knives and after this incident I'll never use one!

A. Dale McLean
<A HREF="" TARGET="_blank" >ADaM Sharps Cutlery - Canadian Knife Dealer</A>
Many moons ago, I had just turned 16 had my first job lined up, at Chick-Fil-A in the mall. You know that fresh lemonade they do? Well I had this big 8" chef's knife and a bucket full of lemons on a table out in front of the store. I was cutting them in two throwing the halves into another bucket then squeezing them on a juicer. Kind of customer-grabber thing going there. A couple girls I knew from school walked up and I got distracted both talking and mostly trying to be cool. Cutting lemons too fast with wet hands and a slippery cutting board. One of the lemons rolled and the knife rolled simultaneously. I sliced full force into my left thumb right thru the pad. I assume you can imagine fresh lemon juice in a deep cut. My thumb only hung on my the thumbnail bed. Went clean through about 80% of the bone. I couldn't squeeze it hard enough.... I was afraid I'd rip it clean off. that is a pretty strong artery in there. Squirted more than a couple passerby's. THAT part of the ordeal I'd pay good money to have on tape. ;-) I have almost all normal use, the surgeon who fixed the damage said it wasn't too tough due to the clean cut. The tendons and muscles fused back together no prob. Only quirk is the bone is a little off and the scar 3/4 around my thumb ;-) Ain't knives fun? jeff
Learned early in my drinking career not to mix alcohol and sharp objects. Sitting around drunk as a skunk with some high school friends. I found a razorblade and a cigarette rolling paper and thought I'd show them the ol' "How do you walk through a rolling paper trick?". So here I am, drunker than snot, waving a damn razorblade around and proceeded to get a little too close to my thigh. Real nice clean cut! About 1.5" long and .5" deep. And about .75" wide if I just let it spread! Didn't hurt a bit, thanks to it being a brand-new clean razor blade. Of course the booze helped alittle too. Stitches? I don't need no stinkin' stitches! Hell of a scar to this day. A lesson learned the hard way.