Unfortunate Events

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bladefixation2

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Mar 28, 2004
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I've just been told my mother passed away last night. She had been fighting cancer for two or three years, a week ago it finally got the better of her and she passed away last night.

What a time of year to die, makes you wonder where the justice is in the world. Just two more weeks and she could have enjoyed the Christmas she had been planning. She wasnt even 50 yrs old.

Yet there are people blowing themselves up with total disregard for their perfectly healthy bodies in suicide bombs. Makes you understand why the Israelies go back at them with helecopter gunships. Every time one of those creeps blows themselves up there are 40 Israeli families sat there trying to come to terms with the loss of a relative, one who wasnt even ill!

There are also people all over the world smoking and drinking to excess, giving themselves this disease out of their own free will. I wonder if they would still if they had seen her in so much pain for so long and then dead, only 2/3 of the way through what most of us would hope is a reasonable life.

It also makes you realise how little doctors can do for you still when you get something seriousley wrong with you. We have so much technology, just look at the PC in front of you, the Internet were all using, yet as a race we're no where near as 'powerful' as we think. She was in so much pain yet they couldnt do anything to help other than more and more morhine.

Just a few thoughts
 
My thoughts and prayers will be with you in the days to come bf2. Losing a parent is an incredibly difficult experience. I lost my Father to a heart attack when I was only 12. I feel the loss as much, if not more, now as when he died. My Wife's also dealt with the death of a parent but as an adult. My Mother-In-Law died in 2002 from cancer. She fought it for five years as it jumped from her colon to her brain and eventually to her liver. Her passing fell on my birthday. Life is, unfortunately, often fraught with pain and injustice. So in order to stay "sane" we must try to find the good in each situation and focus on it. I work with juveniles who have stepped across the line of the law and many of them have lost a parent or been abandoned by one. I've therefore been able to use the pain I know all too well to talk with them from that "insiders" point of view to help them begin to address the hurt they themselves feel. This has enabled me to bring something positive out of the worst event of my life. I'm sure you have many wonderful memories of your Mom and as painful as they may be at this point they will come to be a warm blanket of solace in the days, months and years ahead. You hang in there, I'm sure your Mom would want you to make the most of everyday so that you can continue on in a precious life she helped to create. ;)
 
We all die sometime. It hurts more to lose someone at a special time of the year, but it's always a special time of the year, some holiday or anniversary is always coming up, and even if it weren't, it's the loss that hurts, not the external circumstances.

It IS hard to understand why people inflict misery on themselves or others when there's so much to go around naturally. All we can do is learn to appreciate and preserve what's good in life, and remember the long years of it more than the last moment of loss.
 
I am very , very sorry for your loss. Be thankful for the time you had with your mom, its more than some people get. Its never easy to lose a parent and weather its christmas or some other holiday its always the most dificult thing you will ever have to go through. I lost my grandmother december 26 1986 and christmas was never the same for me, and my mom passed 5 years ago in the summer and it was un belivably hard; and ive never dealt with it, i just take thing day by day; and do what ever i can to go on. talking to people is a good thing as is being around people. If nothing else you have all your friends here on bf :) . so try to hang in there the best you can , its never easy. take care and God bless.
 
You have my utmost sympathy.There is a Southern saying"You can always get another wife but God gives one Mother ". I was fortunate to be able to care for 4 family members over a 10 year period. One uncle died in my arms. Another uncle died in a nursing home the day after I told him that I loved him He said he loved me too. That was the only time I said that to him but He knew it.
My dad was a WW I disabled veteran that had lost his mind & I couldn't communicate but I Was there for him.
Mom died in her sleep with her medicine laid out to put it in her daily reminder container.I am somewhat ashamed to say her passing left me with 2 emotions; grief and relief.Missed her but her suffering was gone.
Please draw upon memories of her teachings and the good times you shared and know she has gone to a better place.

an understanding Uncle Alan
 
Please accept my condolences for your loss. These things do, as Esav said, tend to occur near those special times of year.

Hold her memory dear.
 
I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my Grandfather on Christmas day in '76. Makes it very difficult. Thank you for the post- some good things to think about. I hope you find the strength to get through this.
 
I'm very sorry about your mom BF2. It must be especially devastating to lose your mom at that age, just as you're starting to appreciate her.
You sound amazingly clear-thinking for someone who's just gotten news like that. I can only imagine what it's like on the inside.
 
There is never a good time to lose a loved one, but the Holidays are worse. A constant reminder of your loss every year. I lost my Dad in 99 and my Mom in 2002. Having drug my feet selling their house (the only home I grew up in), we closed the sale this past Thursday, my Dad's birthday. Had to go through the house Christmas day getting the last of the thinks out...very difficult. Stay strong, and recognize this is the normal order of things. As difficult as this is, there are others dealing with loses harder to understand, such as a son or daughter dying or, mentioned earlier, the loss of a healthy loved one at the reckless hands of another.
Prayers, Mike
 
My sincerest deepest sympathy on the loss of your mother.Life can be very cruel. I always pondered the question why good people suffer and evil people prosper.I wish you only good things in the comming year.
Larry
 
bladefixation2,

I'm very sorry for your terrible loss...The passing of the woman who brought you into the World has to be a tough thing to deal with. My mother spent the last few days in the hospital (since the day before christmas 'till today), and I am lucky to have her still with us. Your pain will ease alittle with the passing of time, and the emptyness you feel will be partially filled with the good memories of your mom.

Your mom is no-longer in pain.
 
Sorry to hear of your loss, I was told on the 24th of December this year that my mom's gonna die of cancer probably soon (terminal, nothing they can do)...and like said this time of the year doesnt help matters, makes me hate doctors even more then I already do. It's hard for me personally to walk into a hospital, everytime I've been in one its something very bad...

My condolences to you and your family...
 
Thanks for all your supportive posts, Ive been reading them over the past few days and I'd just like to say thanks.

Robert.B said:
I was told on the 24th of December this year that my mom's gonna die of cancer probably soon (terminal, nothing they can do)...
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The best advice I can give you is to spend time with your mom while she is ill. Go sit with her when shes having her treatment if possible, and try to keep her spirits up. I always told myself that she was the one who was dying I could be sad when she had gone. While she is still here try to think of it all from her point of view. I wish I had more pictures and video of my mom and had spent more time with her...

While I dont want to give you any false hope, they told my mom she would only last 6 months and she lasted 2 years before she passed away. She never gave up and I think thats really important.

Robert.B said:
makes me hate doctors even more then I already do...
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Its easy to think that but the doctors do their best. Its frustrating that they cant cure everything but they do try their best. It must be frustrating for them too and difficult for them to not feel like they have failed in some way.
 
My sincere condolences to you sir, I believe that with cancer the death can be both a blessing (no more pain) and a curse (the great feeling of loss and sorrow) may you focus on the good ways in which she touched your life. Prayers for you and your family on their way.
 
Just lost my GF to cancer...Even if it's terminal call or visit them as much as you can, do everything you can to make the last days easier. When it's over go ahead with your life ,you owe that to them.
 
I lost both my Father and Grandfather to Cancer and I know about the pain and suffering that goes along with it. I am sorry for the loss of your mother but remember, at least her pain has stopped. Please accept my condolences.
 
Condolence, sympathy. Try to keep a positive attitude. Thoughts and prayers from my family to yours, Marty.
 
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