- Joined
- Nov 16, 2002
- Messages
- 9,948
Ways to attack Cliff Stamps's reviews. A guide for the thin-skinned.
If you've done this, you may find your style presented here.
1. Praise of Cliff's genius whenever something reflects well on your favorite knives and link to his review whenever appropriate. Otherwise dismiss his words.
2. Harsh, yet vague, criticism when anything negative, neutral, or not positive enough is said. You may follow this with challenges to some sort of fist fight.
2a. Accuse Mr. Stamp of having unconditional love for Busse Combat Knives, an unscientific infatuation with Swamp Rat Knives, and a secret penchant for drinking Budweiser.
2b. Somehow find a way to use 'Canadian' in a derogatory manner.
3. Criticize requests for concrete block cutting and generally insinuate that Mr. Stamp never cuts with knives, but rather uses them as hammers while knocking back Budweisers and writing to the knifemags for his own rendition of "I'm with Busse".
3a. Call Cliff "biased and unscientific", but forget to explain how and why and hope that your strong assertion is proof enough.
4. Accuse Cliff of not giving credit to Joe Talmadge, Mike Swaim, and Alvin Johnson.
5. Contradict yourself whenever necessary to show what a "joke" Cliff is and how he doesn't affect you one bit. A good start would be to attack Cliff's arrogance for not following the suggested methods or uses given by private makers and manufacturers and later bragging about your previous job where you used to prove and disprove the work of others.
edited to add Rob Angerer's editions:
6. "Cliff isn't qualified to test knives."
6a. Cliff doesn't use scientific methods in his testing.
6b. Cliff is too scientific. He uses too many non-real-world tests. He oughta use these knives in "real world" ways... that's all that counts.
6c. Cliff doesn't use "real" statistical analysis ... his results
that show test averages (means) and range bands don't pass statistical muster (sample size, repeatability) for him to generate any kind of standard deviation bands.
6d. Cliff doesn't test a statistically significant number of knives in any given setting to be able to make any pronouncements what-so-ever. Statistical dogma requires a BARE minimum of 20, and better 30 or more knives to be tested in each test before we can draw any real, irrefutable (!?) conclusions.
6e. Cliff isn't a knife maker, and is therefore unqualified to test the performance of any knife.
6f. Cliff doesn't test to any accepted industry standards, e.g. ISO, ANSI, ASME, NIST, etc.
6g. Cliff uses ASTM/AISI/SAE references and compares the behavior of knife steels to the listed expected behaviors.
further edited to include new ones from me:
7. Doesn't offer to commit sepuku when knifemakers disagree with him
7a. Doesn't console recipients of negative reviews with new SUV.
There are several more, but I hope that this has given you a good start.
Very few disagreements with Cliff's methods and results fall outside of the listed types of attacks. Of course, those few aren't attacks, so they're of value to the readers and maybe even Mr. Stamp.
My $.02
If you've done this, you may find your style presented here.
1. Praise of Cliff's genius whenever something reflects well on your favorite knives and link to his review whenever appropriate. Otherwise dismiss his words.
2. Harsh, yet vague, criticism when anything negative, neutral, or not positive enough is said. You may follow this with challenges to some sort of fist fight.
2a. Accuse Mr. Stamp of having unconditional love for Busse Combat Knives, an unscientific infatuation with Swamp Rat Knives, and a secret penchant for drinking Budweiser.
2b. Somehow find a way to use 'Canadian' in a derogatory manner.
3. Criticize requests for concrete block cutting and generally insinuate that Mr. Stamp never cuts with knives, but rather uses them as hammers while knocking back Budweisers and writing to the knifemags for his own rendition of "I'm with Busse".
3a. Call Cliff "biased and unscientific", but forget to explain how and why and hope that your strong assertion is proof enough.
4. Accuse Cliff of not giving credit to Joe Talmadge, Mike Swaim, and Alvin Johnson.
5. Contradict yourself whenever necessary to show what a "joke" Cliff is and how he doesn't affect you one bit. A good start would be to attack Cliff's arrogance for not following the suggested methods or uses given by private makers and manufacturers and later bragging about your previous job where you used to prove and disprove the work of others.
edited to add Rob Angerer's editions:
6. "Cliff isn't qualified to test knives."
6a. Cliff doesn't use scientific methods in his testing.
6b. Cliff is too scientific. He uses too many non-real-world tests. He oughta use these knives in "real world" ways... that's all that counts.
6c. Cliff doesn't use "real" statistical analysis ... his results
that show test averages (means) and range bands don't pass statistical muster (sample size, repeatability) for him to generate any kind of standard deviation bands.
6d. Cliff doesn't test a statistically significant number of knives in any given setting to be able to make any pronouncements what-so-ever. Statistical dogma requires a BARE minimum of 20, and better 30 or more knives to be tested in each test before we can draw any real, irrefutable (!?) conclusions.
6e. Cliff isn't a knife maker, and is therefore unqualified to test the performance of any knife.
6f. Cliff doesn't test to any accepted industry standards, e.g. ISO, ANSI, ASME, NIST, etc.
6g. Cliff uses ASTM/AISI/SAE references and compares the behavior of knife steels to the listed expected behaviors.
further edited to include new ones from me:
7. Doesn't offer to commit sepuku when knifemakers disagree with him
7a. Doesn't console recipients of negative reviews with new SUV.
There are several more, but I hope that this has given you a good start.
Very few disagreements with Cliff's methods and results fall outside of the listed types of attacks. Of course, those few aren't attacks, so they're of value to the readers and maybe even Mr. Stamp.
My $.02
? Oh, yeah, Cliff rocks! No, wait, he chops up rocks. Hold on... screw it, I'm gonna to go drink a beer.
