Bosco was our 3 year old Jack. Decent mule. Really a good worker. Would walk a pretty straight furrow without a lot of attention or persuasion. He was a walker. You git up and ride'im inta town or over to Darr's, well, he weren't no dog, but he did have'is own "dog-trot". Soon as he knew you weren't just gonna ride'im to the pasture and was really going somehweres, he was all for it. Wild horses couldn't hold'im back. You'd be going somewheres, headin' down the gravel road to Green City and 'is head would be turned this way or that. Had to see what was in old man Abernathy's yard or the Phillip's lot. They could be a hunnerd foot cliff dead a-head and if he was gawking around, that cliff could claim it's next victim!
Bosco's weakness was eating. He weren't much on hay, but you had something delectable, like a sugar cube swiped from Aunt Bette's pinkish circus glass sugar bowl she got outta a Quaker Oats box, he'd be standing next to you like you was'is long lost buddy. If mules could smile, that crafty thing would be considered first cousin to the Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland. Now, if you had something really, really special, like an apple, well, you better have an arm a mile long cause he'd probably bite your hand off getting it away from you. Git the idea?
Debbie, my littlest sister, was six, going on seven round this time and was going to the out house with an apple in'er hand one bright spring time day. Ol' Boscoe spied that apple with genuine x-ray eyeballs through the barn's walls no less, and here he come on a dead run. He started pushing Debbie around trying to get her to drop that apple. When he seen that wasn't gonna work, he pulled'is ace inna hole trick. He'd reach his head over to grab the apple knowing full well you was going to move your arm. But Bosco was like I said, crafty--and skilled, too. As you moved, so did'is lips. 'Is head would stay in one spot, but 'is lips was like octy-puss arms! Flexible, they were. Them lips of'is would grab that apple and your hand as well and snuggle down on'em. The poor victim would think'is hand was gittin' eat off and jerk it out of the way like lightenin'..only without the apple. Then he'd realize that he weren't bit at all and also realized he'd been bamboozled out of the apple at the same time. Bosco would be over to Schuyler County about then eatin' away on that apple and outta reach of any retaliation from the victim. Smart he was.
It was too bad Debbie didn't see things that way and Bosco was on her list. Right at the top of it. That afternoon, she threw an apple core cross the fence inta the lot. It was sucked up and disappeared faster than Jack Flash. Did it again long about supper time. Next mornin' Debbie come outta the house eatin' an apple and Boscoe run to the fence, tongue hangin' out, and slobberin' all over. Wanted that apple something fierce, he did. Debbie just stood there eatin' that apple and starin' Bosco in the eyes. All Bosco could see was that apple dwindling away and he wasn't getting any of it. Debbie got down to the core, walked over to the fence and held it out to that poor mule. I watched'is eyes light up and Debbie just as quickly popped it into her mouth and ate the whole thing! Bosco was crest-fallen if ever a mule could be. Debbie turned and walked back into the house. I'da swore they was a tear in Bosco's eye.
Then just afore dinner,here come Debbie again, eatin' a apple again, and sure enough here come Bosco. Debbie slowly walked up to the fence, see, she knew anticipation was just killin' Bosco, and acted like she was eatin' that apple and makin' yum-yum sounds, too. Bosco was goin' nuts! He was shiftin'is weight from front leg to front leg alla time wanting a bite out of that apple. Hell, let's be honest here. He wanted the WHOLE apple. Debbie held out'er arm with that apple in it and as soon as Bosco would go to grab it, she'd jerk it away. 'Bout the third time she done that, I knew Bosco was gittin' ready to cry. Then she held it out again and Bosco didn't move. He figured it be jerked away again. But when he seed it weren't going anywhere, he sucked that apple up even faster'n Jack Flash was was gone behind the barn in a cloud of dust and a hearty Hi-yo, Silver!
Ever heered a mule scream? It ain't pretty, let me tell you. That apple'd been soaking in some of Grandpa's Loozyanna hot sauce all night. Killer stuff us kids couldn't handle. Neither could Mom. Skin had holes poked in it with a crochet hook, too. Funny thing. After that, when Debbie'd come outta the house, Bosco would have'is eyes attuned on her like they was radar homin' onto one of them kamikazes I heered tell about. 'Spect life in the lot was a mite quieter after that, don''t you 'spose?
That wasnt funny a bit!!
