A bench is better than a knife for self defense ?

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Kevin Wilkins

Kevin Wilkins

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I read an interesting story in the New York Times yesterday about a backstage fight at a music concert in Boston, MA. It seems that 4 or more people got stabbed but none were badly hurt. However a man was seriously injured when he was hit with a marble bench. Only one person was arrested: for throwing a marble bench at another person.

So I guess from this I learn that knife fighting isn't as dangerous as I thought - and you don't even get areested for it in Boston - but buddy, you better watch out for those benches.

I'm considering giving up knives and starting a whole bench self defense program. Right now I'm working on a Kydex multi carry system for benches. There's a problem with the horizontal carry in the small of the back: You have to turn sideways to get through most doors.

My favorite is the Croc. Dundee bench rig. "That's not a bench. THIS is a BENCH."



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Totally new website!
http://www.wilkins-knives.com
 
Well, I hate to use Internet abbreviations, but:

ROTFLMAO
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--JB

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e_utopia@hotmail.com
 
Yeah - them benches are vicious MF....

I once slammed a car door in some unlucky dude's face - I have been trying to feet a car door in a shoulder holster ever since
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Forget 'Benchmade', get the real thing
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How about a concealable, folding bench made of teak ?

Take care,
Tobse !
 
Benches should be banned or their use highly restricted to only well-trained people. And they should be kept locked away until the need to use one arises. Just my two cents.

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Hoodoo

The low, hoarse purr of the whirling stone—the light-press’d blade,
Diffusing, dropping, sideways-darting, in tiny showers of gold,
Sparkles from the wheel.

Walt Whitman
 
One noted bench manufacturer has agreed to install bench lockdown devices on all their new models. They are developing a special magnetic posterior lock so that only the person sitting on the bench can use them.

So, the main question is, "What knife do you use to carve your initials in a bench?"
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Chisel and mallet, if it's marble...
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Brandon

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"You should never never doubt what nobody is sure about..."
 
CCB => concealed carry bench. Beware.
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D.T. UTZINGER

[This message has been edited by ZUT&ZUT (edited 04-05-2000).]
 
There should also be a Five Day waiting period for a backround check before being allowed to purchase a Bench.
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[This message has been edited by TOMBSTONE (edited 04-05-2000).]
 
We demand that congress act to close the Lawn and Garden Show loophole immediately!

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Chuck
Balisongs -- because it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing!
http://www.balisongcollector.com

[This message has been edited by Gollnick (edited 04-05-2000).]
 
A friend of mine once said it is very dangerous to tell a political joke - especially to politicians - it makes a U turn and comes back as a law. Be warned...

[This message has been edited by Blilious (edited 04-05-2000).]
 
How would you distinguish a bench from a sofa? I'm am very concerned since I tend to use my sofa alot; especially during the football sesson.

 
In my city, benches are bolted to the sidewalk, and have iron armrests installed at both ands and in the middle, to force homeless people to sleep sitting up.
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[Trying to think of knife content here . . .
I suspect that software bug would zap the thread if I tried to move it to Community.]

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- JKM
www.chaicutlery.com
AKTI Member # SA00001
 
The secret is out.
See the Kung Fu style Choy Li Fut uses a short bench as a weapon. Seriously, as benches were small, wooden, and not bolted to the ground.

 
Jim,

I guess being poor down and out and homeless in Glendale isn't considered punishment enough: on top of that you gotta stay TIRED. :-)

Or maybe the cuty council is afraid the homeless will revolt and armed only with benches will take control of the State of California.

Hey Jim, want to write a screenplay? I can see George Clooney as the bench-toting leader of the homeless storming city hall...

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Totally new website!
http://www.wilkins-knives.com
 
Since this is a Big Blunt Instrument thread, and not even as edgy as a "What's the best knife for a walking compost heap attack?" thread, and the bug seems to have been fixed while I wasn't looking, I'm moving this to "Community."
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- JKM
www.chaicutlery.com
AKTI Member # SA00001
 
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