A courtroom drama ends.

Howard Wallace

Howard Wallace

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I got my final decree of dissolution signed off by a judge yesterday, 1 year, 9 months, 3 weeks, 2 days, 4 hours after the action was initiated in the courts. Those of you who've been around here for a while may remember when this started and how it knocked me down for a while. I've been a single parent, holding down a job and fighting in the courts for the last couple of years, and now the courtroom part of the drama appears to be over.

I retained custody of my two teenaged children, and kept the family home to raise them in. The finances are going to be pretty tough for the kids and me for a few years. I achieved my primary objectives and the money my ex is receiving should give her a start on rebuilding a life for herself. When I look at the financial difficulties ahead I'm tempted to think in terms of win and loss although I know that is incorrect. Perhaps we were all winners. I’ll know more in 20 years or so.

My attorney and opposing counsel are thinking of jointly developing a seminar for attorneys based on my case. I guess it had elements the legal system does not run into every day.

There were a few time when the support I found on this forum, and from private communications with some of the members here, were extremely valuable to me.

Thanks to you all.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.
 
Howard?

My best wishes. My divorce wasn't a contest, but it scared both my ex and me. The lawyers played handball, impressing the judge, the court and tried to count coup on each other. After the decree, the two lawyers went out to lunch together. What a racket.

It will work out fine...hardships or not. If your kids know you love them no matter what they do, you have won.

Hang in.
 
Hang tough, we are all on your side. The young ones are old enough to know that you love them and, that counts for a lot.:)
 
Howard , hope it continues to work out as you would want it, I have the whole process ahead of me , problem is I cant / refuse to let my mind get into it, still down there in the self pity trip. Oh well time well tell (whatever the hell that means) Rod
 
Originally posted by Underhay
The only winners in a divorce are the lawyers, unfortunately.
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I had a couple of divorces back in my distant past. I think both times the lawyers charged $50, filed some papers and told the judge we didn't like each other any more - Divorce Granted- took about 10 minutes.

Both of these wives were as glad to get rid of me as I was to get rid of them. We were all winners
 
Thanks friends.

Ben, Prices have gone up what with inflation and all. Mine cost at least 2000 X more and took 88,000 times longer. Ah, for the good old days! (By the minute I got a better buy than you did though. It pays to buy in bulk!)

;)

Rod, Hang in there. Don't forget you have friends and people who care about you, and reach out when you need it. The trauma of this type of experience can be intense. No one seems to talk about it either. I was surprised by the depth and the disabling nature of the pain. But you do heal and get better, if you survive.
 
Originally posted by Ben Arown-Awile
Both of these wives were as glad to get rid of me as I was to get rid of them. We were all winners
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Same for me and my ex's!!!!:D It took me a good many years to find a good one. We've been married for far longer than the time alloted so that she could collect my Social Security.
None of the others made it that far, although one came somewhat close. She never has figured out that I was playing the same game she was and I was the definite winner when I got shut of her!!!!:D
 
Divorce sucks, but the more attention you pay to the good things in life, the easier it is to endure the bad. Howard makes a great point about friends, at the darkest times of my life, my friends have been a great source of strength and comfort. God picks our families for us, but we get to pick our friends for ourselves. There's a balance in that too profound for a knucklehead like me to adequately articulate.;)

Sarge
 
I don't know about WA, but here it seems to be more difficult for a male keeping custody. I have never been divorced, but my friend was. When his wife who was seriously mentall I'll could no longer care for the children he took them. It took him six months to get a hearing to get the formal custody changed and then over six months after that before they ever stopped charging him child support. In fact, the first six months they were still sending it to the ex even though he had the kids! She was spending it of course.

Messed up system really.
 
Originally posted by Sylvrfalcn
God picks our families for us, but we get to pick our friends for ourselves.
...too profound... to adequately articulate.;)
Click to expand...

"You can pick your friends
You can pick your nose
But you can't pick your friend's nose"

Mr. Natural - 1969
 
Originally posted by Yvsa
.......when I got shut of her!!!!:D
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Now that takes me back to times past. In Northeast Georgia the Farmers used the term "shed" of someone or something signifying that it was out of their life and no longer of any concern. Manys the time I heard "Man!!! am I glad I got shed of that."
 
"What doesn't kill me makes me stronger!"

Excuse Me?

Surviving getting hit by a Mack truck, with it's breaking of a bunch of your bones makes you far weaker, debilitated, after you go through the healing process.

Howard may be better off now, but it will take time before he can trust himself or others as before. That is a loss that takes time and courage to overcome.

Howard, you really are one of the good guys. I'm sorry for your troubles, and I hope you come out of them a more compassionate, loving, and more comfortable with yourself person.
 
hollowdweller - WA too.

Rusty - Thanks. Actually I do feel better and more whole than before this all began. But for a long time I felt like the smashed up guy under the truck. One thing about the court stuff taking so long in this instance is that I have already had a couple of years to pull myself back together.
 
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