- Joined
- Oct 24, 2002
- Messages
- 59
Sorry for my absence. I was detained for a bit, but now Im out, er, back and I have noticed several threads about the testing of knife sharpness and edge retention. This brought back memories of my own attempts to gauge edge holding and relative sharpness of one knife compared to another.
Back in the early days, I used hair-shaving sharpness to determine a particular knifes capabilities. Of course I started by shaving the hair off my arms. Unlike my hirsute friend, Marty, I have relatively little hair on my body and so I ran out of arm hair fairly quickly. As I grabbed more and more knives to test them, I found myself peeling off more and more clothing. First, off came my t-shirt, exposing my lightly thatched chest. A couple of Sebenzas made fast work of that patch and soon I found my Carhardt jeans on the floor and most of my leg hair lying in little mounds at my feet. At this point I realized I should jump in a pool and swim a few laps because I was starting to look a bit like a competitive swimmer. Also, and dont take this the wrong way, but a couple turns in the mirror and I must say my legs looked pretty good. From the right angle you might even never mind.
At this point I realized I was running out of hair, but not knives. Grabbing a long bladed Busse, I proceeded to drop the skivvies and head for the jungle. Let me just say this about that Dont go there! I play with a standard size bat as it is, and flashing a blade around the equipment like that almost returned me to Little League.
Now I had but two knives left and my only remaining hair (where I could reach) resided on my head. Completely caught up in the mood of the moment and in the interest of cutlery science I proceeded to finish the testing. Soon I was out of hair and knives and I could proudly say all my knives were hair-shaving sharp.
Just at that moment I heard a knock on the front door. I knew it was Marty because he used his secret knock (two knocks followed by two knocks). Still absorbed by my successful test I forgot my lack of clothing and hair and without thinking I opened the door to let Marty in. Well, to my surprise someone else knew Martys secret knock and when I opened the door the mailman stood there with a box in his hand (probably a new knife). He didnt stay there long. The box dropped at my feet and he turned and ran away faster than a chicken at a BBQ, yelling something about a Fringe guy.
By the way, I wouldnt recommend hair-shaving tests. It itches like crazy when it grows back.
So I changed mediums for my next sharpness testing session. I figured paper would be better than hair. Granted paper does not grow like hair, or on trees, well, you know what I mean, but you can always find a pile of it somewhere. I did.
I found a pile of old magazines in Bunnys closet one day. Never mind why I was in my wifes closet, but sure enough I found several boxes of them. I proceeded to pull out my knives and slice away. Once again I was pleased with the degree of sharpness I had obtained with my Spyderco Sharpmaker. I sliced left and right in mad abandon sending clouds of paper strips flying about the room. Magazine after magazine met its grisly end on the edge of my production and custom blades. After about an hour I looked around the room for another magazine and discovered I had dismembered them all. It was right at this moment that Bunny came home, and simultaneously I had this sinking feeling (which I often have its like a sixth sense of something) that maybe I should have asked her first before I used her magazines. Well, I decided to hide just in case my feeling turned out to be a bad omen.
I can still hear her voice when she walked into the bedroom to this day. What the .Kliff what did you do to my cooking magazines? I was saving them for our daughter.
Those words put her next words squarely into context. I know this from painful experience.
Where is my broom?
Now a broom would seem a logical implement in this case, what with the paper pieces all over the floor. However, I knew that a broom could be used for other purposes. Fortunately, I was well hid. Or so I thought.
In my haste to hide, I had gathered all the paper strips into a pile, and like a sleeping hamster, I had crawled beneath that pile to escape Bunnys excellent vision. Well, all I can say now is that while she used the broom for its intended purpose she uncovered a part of my anatomy that offered her a perfect opportunity to use the broom in an entirely inappropriate manner. Needless to say, I will now test my knives using a new medium. I cant think of anything going wrong with using electrical cord, can you?
Back in the early days, I used hair-shaving sharpness to determine a particular knifes capabilities. Of course I started by shaving the hair off my arms. Unlike my hirsute friend, Marty, I have relatively little hair on my body and so I ran out of arm hair fairly quickly. As I grabbed more and more knives to test them, I found myself peeling off more and more clothing. First, off came my t-shirt, exposing my lightly thatched chest. A couple of Sebenzas made fast work of that patch and soon I found my Carhardt jeans on the floor and most of my leg hair lying in little mounds at my feet. At this point I realized I should jump in a pool and swim a few laps because I was starting to look a bit like a competitive swimmer. Also, and dont take this the wrong way, but a couple turns in the mirror and I must say my legs looked pretty good. From the right angle you might even never mind.
At this point I realized I was running out of hair, but not knives. Grabbing a long bladed Busse, I proceeded to drop the skivvies and head for the jungle. Let me just say this about that Dont go there! I play with a standard size bat as it is, and flashing a blade around the equipment like that almost returned me to Little League.
Now I had but two knives left and my only remaining hair (where I could reach) resided on my head. Completely caught up in the mood of the moment and in the interest of cutlery science I proceeded to finish the testing. Soon I was out of hair and knives and I could proudly say all my knives were hair-shaving sharp.
Just at that moment I heard a knock on the front door. I knew it was Marty because he used his secret knock (two knocks followed by two knocks). Still absorbed by my successful test I forgot my lack of clothing and hair and without thinking I opened the door to let Marty in. Well, to my surprise someone else knew Martys secret knock and when I opened the door the mailman stood there with a box in his hand (probably a new knife). He didnt stay there long. The box dropped at my feet and he turned and ran away faster than a chicken at a BBQ, yelling something about a Fringe guy.
By the way, I wouldnt recommend hair-shaving tests. It itches like crazy when it grows back.
So I changed mediums for my next sharpness testing session. I figured paper would be better than hair. Granted paper does not grow like hair, or on trees, well, you know what I mean, but you can always find a pile of it somewhere. I did.
I found a pile of old magazines in Bunnys closet one day. Never mind why I was in my wifes closet, but sure enough I found several boxes of them. I proceeded to pull out my knives and slice away. Once again I was pleased with the degree of sharpness I had obtained with my Spyderco Sharpmaker. I sliced left and right in mad abandon sending clouds of paper strips flying about the room. Magazine after magazine met its grisly end on the edge of my production and custom blades. After about an hour I looked around the room for another magazine and discovered I had dismembered them all. It was right at this moment that Bunny came home, and simultaneously I had this sinking feeling (which I often have its like a sixth sense of something) that maybe I should have asked her first before I used her magazines. Well, I decided to hide just in case my feeling turned out to be a bad omen.
I can still hear her voice when she walked into the bedroom to this day. What the .Kliff what did you do to my cooking magazines? I was saving them for our daughter.
Those words put her next words squarely into context. I know this from painful experience.
Where is my broom?
Now a broom would seem a logical implement in this case, what with the paper pieces all over the floor. However, I knew that a broom could be used for other purposes. Fortunately, I was well hid. Or so I thought.
In my haste to hide, I had gathered all the paper strips into a pile, and like a sleeping hamster, I had crawled beneath that pile to escape Bunnys excellent vision. Well, all I can say now is that while she used the broom for its intended purpose she uncovered a part of my anatomy that offered her a perfect opportunity to use the broom in an entirely inappropriate manner. Needless to say, I will now test my knives using a new medium. I cant think of anything going wrong with using electrical cord, can you?
