- Joined
- Nov 24, 2003
- Messages
- 5,337
Projects - Handling and Thought Process:
1. Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month.
2. Construction manager is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
3. Quantity Surveyor is one who asks if the baby is in the budget (and if it saves money to adopt).
4. Project Engineer is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
5. Section engineer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby.
6. Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby and is not sure whether he'd prefer a boy or a girl but would settle for twins at the same price.
7. Engineering is still figuring out how to produce a baby.
8. Procurement buys condoms by mistake.
9 Doc Control thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
10. Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.
11. Site Engineers don't care...they just want the woman!!
12. Planning Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; all they need are some Key Dates, an estimate and Primavera on a laptop
13. Architects take ten months to complete the prelim design and then complain that the final product is out of spec, has water and sewerage problems and the final costs are far outside of the budget and insist that it be put back again.
1. Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month.
2. Construction manager is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
3. Quantity Surveyor is one who asks if the baby is in the budget (and if it saves money to adopt).
4. Project Engineer is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
5. Section engineer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby.
6. Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby and is not sure whether he'd prefer a boy or a girl but would settle for twins at the same price.
7. Engineering is still figuring out how to produce a baby.
8. Procurement buys condoms by mistake.
9 Doc Control thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
10. Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.
11. Site Engineers don't care...they just want the woman!!
12. Planning Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; all they need are some Key Dates, an estimate and Primavera on a laptop
13. Architects take ten months to complete the prelim design and then complain that the final product is out of spec, has water and sewerage problems and the final costs are far outside of the budget and insist that it be put back again.
I test software for a software development company, and the parallel with a few title changes.................