A simpler life

Cpl Punishment

Cpl Punishment

Joined
Jan 28, 2006
Messages
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Part of what I had to evaluate while I was gone is how I was (and to an extent, still am) living.

I had (have) too much stuff. My life became a race to accumulate stuff. I took two whole weeks off and went through only two rooms of my home and was appalled at the amount of stuff I had. Some things I had two or three of because I had forgotten that I had bought it, and bought another.

I went on a purge, selling all manner of things, including a lot of my HI stuff. The HI stuff I kept are either things that I have a use for, or are fairly unique and I haven't seen another of since I bought it. Other stuff was a bunch of camping stuff, several boxes of DVDs and CDs, a couple shelves of books and magazines, etc. I gave several -- 5 I think -- large lawn and leaf bags of clothes that are too big for me away to the Salvation Army.

I flat out threw out boxes and boxes of junk -- old school papers (who keeps their homework for 20 years??), parts of my past I don't need dredged up, etc.

But, I was looking around today, and I had to ask "If I got rid of so much stuff, why is my house still cluttered with all this unnecessary stuff?" I don't even use most of it. Some of it I haven't touched in a decade except to move it to a different place in the closet.

I admit some of it is emotional: I have a lot of high-end tactical gear from my soldiering and adventuring days of danger and glory, which, to be quite frank, I wouldn't survive if I attempted today. I simply don't need it. Time to let it go. There's young guys going in harm's way that I'm sure would like a good deal on better-than-issue gear.

I still have knives I don't use, and don't really care for anymore. Time to go.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying owning things is bad, nor am I saying I'm going to spend the rest of my life only owning that which I need to maintain my biological existence. No, what I'm saying is it's time to make a break from my old ways of doing things and living and get down to what really matters to me and put my efforts into those things, rather than dilute them.

Part of the effects of the trials I've been through recently, is nothing much seems to matter to me anymore. People have asked me what I like to do outside of work. I have to be honest and tell them "nothing". Sad fact is, there's really nothing I want to do anymore. The last dream I had, one that was with me since I was a small child, one which was always present even in other dreams, was closed off to me. Once that was gone, I found I really didn't care about anything anymore.

Maybe that's why I have no use for things that used to catch my eye. Maybe all this clutter is diluting my efforts and scattering my attention from what is left. Maybe at the bottom of it all, I'll find my way.





Know the sad part? I typed all that and haven't had a sip of liquor in four months. I used to have to be drunk to be so melancholy and philosophical.
 
Four months? Well done Cpl.

Decluttering definitely facilitates a tighter focus on life, congratulations on the purge. Best wishes for you on your journey, I hope you find what you're looking for.
 
Have you read Thoreau's Walden? If not I highly recommend it. It's a great part of our American philosophical tradition. Here's an online version.

Another admirable historical figure is Layman Pang. (Pang Yun Jushi) When he realized he had too much stuff, he didn't want to give it away because then it would burden someone else. He loaded it all into a boat, rowed it out to the middle of a lake, and sank it. Then he lived under a bridge and wove baskets. He is considered one of the great Chan (Chinese predecessor to Japanese Zen) masters.

Right now I'm getting ready to sell the house I've lived in for 2 decades. I'm sorting through lots of stuff, getting rid of lots but there's still lots to move. I think wistfully of the strength of charachter of Thoreau and Layman Pang.
 
I'm glad you're back Corp. Hopefully soon you'll find pleasure in the simple things again. The joy is within you, not something you find and lose. I think getting rid of stuff can be very good. As Metallica says "the less I have, the more I gain". I don't usually quote those guys! Hang in there.
 
Hang in there. I have young children that remind me why I'm here on a daily basis, as well as a dream that I pursue one weekend a month (lead guitarist in a band). But I've had the same questions from time to time.

One thing's for sure, I've got waaay too much stuff also. Looking to simplify myself. Just for instance, I was hot and heavy into traditional archery a few years back. Accumulated oh, about 8 bows and an a$$load of now-unused equipment. Really only every liked two of them. Time to purge here too. I've also vowed to accumulate only "perishable" goods from here on out.

Let the wisdom you've accumulated be a prized possession, and share it with others. A lot of us here are way too caught up in life's distractions (earthly goods), and our priorities have gotten out of whack. It's good to hear the perogative of people like yourself who have made realizations about things like these of late.

Best to you and yours.

Professor.
 
Professor said:
Hang in there. I have young children that remind me why I'm here on a daily basis, as well as a dream that I pursue one weekend a month (lead guitarist in a band). But I've had the same questions from time to time. One thing's for sure, I've got waaay too much stuff also. Looking to simplify myself. Just for instance, I was hot and heavy into traditional archery a few years back. Accumulated oh, about 8 bows and an a$$load of now-unused equipment. Really only every liked two of them. Time to purge here too. I've also vowed to accumulate only "perishable" goods from here on out. Let the wisdom you've accumulated be a prized possession, and share it with others. A lot of us here are way too caught up in life's distractions (earthly goods), and our priorities have gotten out of whack. It's good to hear the perogative of people like yourself who have made realizations about things like these of late.Best to you and yours.
Professor.
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Professor, a well stated thought within a few words. I can count myself in this group as well. I too like the Cpl. just one day made the decision enough was enough. Some of the items I had had sales slips in them from 15-20 years ago & had never been used, but I guess at that time I thought I would need it. 53 fishing rods !!! ??? What does a man need 53 fishing rods for ? ? ? :) A friend of mine ask me if I was feeling ok when he stopped by one week-end. I told him everything was ok, and was wondering why he asked. He said both his father & his uncle started giving everything away a few years back & both passed away a short time later. I assured him that was most definitely not the reason for this. I had just come to the conclusion enough was enough. Some of the stuff went into yard sales, some went to the local Boy Scouts, some to our local church & shelter, tools & office supplies to our high school, etc. It's amazing how much "stuff" we can acquire and never really notice.
Cpl., hang in there, my wife and I have been at the top of the mountain in our 16 years of marriage, & we have also visited the valley down below. But we always knew there was the other side back to the top of the next mountain. Best wishes & good thoughts for you, keep yourself as busy as you can with new interests, and don't ever give up on your dreams. I'm on the other side of 50, & I have a few I am still going after.
Godspeed.
Be safe.
 
To quote Janis Joplin, "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose."
Well, I still have lots to lose, as I'm planning to stay put and I tend to accumulate stuff that I "might need someday". I like having things on hand I can improvise with if necessary, instead of making special trips to the store. Some things, like extra Mora knives, could make good barter items someday... I do take these song lyrics to heart, though, regarding my attachments to stuff.... I second the motion about Thoreau, I like what he says about happiness being like a butterfly that alights on our shoulder when we are busy doing something else other than chasing after it. And I think that melancholy and philosophical is a good combination (especially when unlubricated), and it surely prevents "the unexamined life..."

Steve
 
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not long after i got back from desert shield and storm - i got sober and clean and came off the streets i had been homeless.

the military had sent me to the mental ward and they sent me out saying "member is a danger to self and others not recommended for retention in service " and i went on a good drinking binge into the streets

a lil bit later i got sober and i met a girl we got married she had nothing i had nothing we had nothing.

Me her and her 8 month old daughter.

but we were happy

I was working in the shipyards an average 70 - 84 hours a week and we started getting "stuff". I went about getting things she wanted and for the family. -- it seems the more stuff we got the more she wanted and the more we got the less happy things were -

in the end we divorced; i sold my truck bought a 200 dollar Toyota with 100,000 miles on it, loaded up 2 tool boxes, 2 suit cases, a duffel bag and a guitar and spent the next 8 - 10 years traveling all over most of the US doing industrial mechanic and Iron work -- living on the road with all i had fit in a vehicle and motel rooms were my home

life on the road was sometimes hard but sometimes i was happy more important most always to some degree at peace

it is nice to have stuff but it seems to me the more stuff i have it begins to own me.

good luck and blessings to you
 
Thanks for all the thoughts, guys. I'm kind of surprised that I'm not alone going down this road.


Steve: one thing I have no plans to give up is my tools. Of the sharp stuff I used, my R-10, CAK (which I can't use right now), 3/4 axe, etc, I have the one I use and a spare. My other tools I'm keeping. I figure I don 't need stuff if I have the tools to make what I need.

No more of what I mean is books I'v eread once and weren't good enough to read again, CDs that I only liked one song on, DVDs that I didn't really like much, etc. I ripped the music I like onto my computer and made some hard copies, and sold them and my DVDs for $1-$2 at the flea market.

I don't need 8 backpacks. I sold off some of my Duluth packs (and have to sell the others) because as Much as I like them, the straps are not easily adjustable like on military packs and my left shoulder feels like it's ripping out of its socket when I put them on.

Our church had a "free yard sale" (where anything you wanted was free), and I gave away a lot of dishes (why did a single guy need enough dishes to feed 40 people?). I kept a basic service for 4 in case I have company. I gave away a lot of old clothes and such.

I threw out things like old CD/DVD players TVs, monitors and such that didn't work, and only God knows why I kept them. Well, I know. I was dirt poor growing up and overreacted think I had to accumulate things and never let them go, lest I be poor again. Lately I've realized that if I have what I need, and take the time to get GOOD stuff, I don't need a LOT of stuff. If I have what I need and a few things I REALLY like, I'm not poor -- no matter what others say.
 
BFH44 said:
i sold my truck bought a 200 dollar Toyota with 100,000 miles on it, loaded up 2 tool boxes, 2 suit cases, a duffel bag and a guitar and spent the next 8 - 10 years traveling all over most of the US doing industrial mechanic and Iron work -- living on the road with all i had fit in a vehicle and motel rooms were my home

life on the road was sometimes hard but sometimes i was happy more important most always to some degree at peace

it is nice to have stuff but it seems to me the more stuff i have it begins to own me.

good luck and blessings to you
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Man sounds like me. I did the hobo work-as-I-traveled thing after getting out of the Army (though I simply left after my enlistment was over).

You bring up another good point I meant to make in Gorog's post: that very often people we see as very poor, unless they are literally starving to death are usually quite happy, much more so than us "rich people".
 
Cpl I read your posts in this and the other current related threads, plus the words of many other posters, and can only come up with this statement:

"The Cantina and HI is a unique place which shows life is about more than than myself.

"It goes beyond the initial interests which brought me to it, and now shows me new and different directions and understandings which I can pursue if I so desire."
 
I've lately decided that massive de-clutterings should be part of every "spring cleaning," at the very least. Which means that I should have one coming up soon...
 
I feel for you Cpl,I know what you're going through.I got to a certain age where life seems to have lost the wow factor.Nothing really moves me as much as it used too.I too realize that I have way to much stuff,been trying to get rid of some of it.I quit smoking 2 months ago and have been working out,trying mightily to get my "waahooo" back.Maybe it'll come back a little,I hope so.It's just another phase,not my favorite one,it should pass.Anyhow,keep on keepin' on,peace.-Jim
 
My wife and I are both pack rats.

We are probably like you Cpl only X 10:o

Both want to clean out stuff but at this point we have so many projects etc incredibly hard to find time.

We both retire in about 3 years and hope then we can do some serious de cluttering!!! Good on you for getting on it!
 
I don't claim professional expertise but IMO you're probably depressed. I would suggest you seek help. There's certainly nothing wrong with reducing your life's baggage and the process of doing something, anything may help temporarily but in the end where ever you go, there you are. I could be wrong and am certainly not trying to insult you or hurt someone's feelings. Depression is a disease or condition that many people have. Some recover without help, some don't. Winston Churchill was depressed on and off all of his life, he called it his "Black Dog".
 
Gato:

Yeah.

I think it may have been in the kukri dreams thread, I mentioned I have all the indicators of two major reactions to PTSD, probably due to events that piled on in the last couple of years coming to a head at once.
 
My wife and I have too much stuff. Over the last 3 years, we've tried to get rid of (lawn sales, donations, trash) a lot of stuff and have succeeded to some degree. We have trashed a couple of dumpsters full of stuff and given away a couple of pick ups full of stuff. More importantly, we haven't brought in new stuff to replace it.

We still have way too much stuff though. It is hard to let go of things with some, even a small, value. It is even harder to let go of stuff that you think you might need in the future.

We have become much happier with the mindset that we don't need "stuff". We did buy two new TV's when our old ones died, I'm not an ascetic! but we no longer buy something just to buy. We also get rid of some "stuff" before we bring new stuff into the house.

I define stuff as that not absolutely needed to live a normal comfortable life. I didn't need 8 pairs of shoes, I needed a couple of pairs for work and a pair of boots. We didn't need 4 sets of dishes, we needed one. I didn't need to keep boxes of old knife and gun magazines (my barber was happy to take those!)

Thus far, we haven't called our hobbies "stuff". I still have 100 knives and she still has cases of candles and stamping sets. Cutting down those things will be a little harder.
 
I don't think there's anything wrong with simplifying your life. I know, for myself, that I have too much stuff. Even after taking a few car loads to Goodwill, I still have too much stuff. I'm not shooting for the monk ideal of having everything I own fit into a shoulder bag. But I'm sick of losing things, replacing them, and then finding them. Travel light for a while. If you need something, get it. If you have something you don't use, give it away. You might feel better for it. YMMV

Frank
 
Cpl Punishment said:
Gato:

Yeah.

I think it may have been in the kukri dreams thread, I mentioned I have all the indicators of two major reactions to PTSD, probably due to events that piled on in the last couple of years coming to a head at once.
Click to expand...

Here's a fun little tidbit I learned recently.
Depression feeds into job stress and PTSD.
Job stress feeds into depression and PTSD.
PTSD feeds into depression and job stress.
This fun little spiral keeps going until you take the bull by the horns and do something about it.
You may not get off the merry-go-round but you can at least slow the pace enough so that things come back to a sense of "normal".
Sometimes the urge for the simple life is your mind and body telling you it is time to take a look at the passing scenery.
Recognizing the symptoms and then actually doing something about them may help.
In the end the only person you have to answer to is yourself and it's a terrible thing to keep lying to yourself so that others see you as not being effected.
Job culture, society, even some of your friends may shun you for seeking help, but in the end the only person who counts is you.
PTSD and depression are hard roads to go down and sometimes even tougher to get off, but to acknowledge the facts and take positive steps is truly the "tough guy" way. Those who just " go with the flow" in the end burn out because they are trying to keep up a facade.
IIRC, you were Airborne in your younger days, which means you're no quitter.
From all the posts I have read, you are a well spoken individual.
I hope that you will come through this phase as unscathed as possible and that it will only be a bump in your life.
I almost never wear my heart on my sleeve, nor give advice, but I hope you pick out something from this that will be of help.
I hope too that you don't take any of this the wrong way, I just thought I "heard" something between your dream and this post.
Of course if I am completely out to lunch you can tell me where to go and how to get there. Sharing this has been good for me.
 
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