Jerry Busse
Moderator
- Joined
- Aug 20, 1999
- Messages
- 11,992
It was a typical Saturday Night. . . . . I had made a late night delivery to Mike Thourot's knife shop . . . . I was covered in micarta dust and steel shavings. . . and my thirst was horrible I say. . . horrible. . . I looked around at the 400 empty cases of Carling Black Label and started to weep like a teething baby. . . They were all empty. . .all of 'em I say. . . .all of 'em. . . I hit Thourot in the head with a baseball bat. . . (Its the only way to get his attention) . . He turned slowly and muttered, "You thirsty?". . . "Why else would I hit you in the head with a bat?" , I said sarcastically. . .. "Good point!", he muttered. . . . then he looks up at me and says, "All the CBL is gone!". . .. "Gone?", I say, "Gone?" . . . . "With the wind Bus Man. . . Gone with the wind" he whimpers. . . As we both sit there spiraling into a deep dark depression over our lack of top shelf, high quality CBL, in walks that dirty bastid Porkerson! He's packin' a brown paper bag. . . .It is obviously holding something rectangular. . .. He turns his back to me for a minute and I whack him in the head with my baseball bat. . . He turns slowly and mutters, "You thirsty?". . . "Why else would I hit you in the head with a bat?" , I say sarcastically. . .. "Good point!", he mutters. . . . .Whats in the bag? I ask pointedly. . . JWB he mumbles. . . Johnny Walker Blue?????? Thourot and I scream . . . Porkerson smiles with a rat like grin and says, Yeah, Johnny Walker Blue. . . and you guys arent getting any of it. . . .Its all mine I say.. . .all mine! His rat-like squeal pierces our ears so Mike hits him in the back of the head with a bat and I club him from the front. . . . 15 minutes of continuous batting practice on his coconut and he finally puts the bag down . . .. We open it and begin crying like a couple of sensitive Hollywood types at the Academy Awards. . .. Thourot loses whats left of his mind and begins hacking the box open with an acid-etched Ratweiler blade. . . Porkerson begins reciting the alphabet (who knows?. . . hes delirious at this point!. . too many blows to the head!) . . . Thourot frees the imprisoned Johhny Walker Blue and we all drink to his new found freedom. . (Actually only Thourot and I drink. . . .Porkerson is too busy dribbling on himself and appears to be stuck on the L M N O portion of the alphabet!) . . . . Before you know it. . Johnny is all kinda gone. . .Thourot is struggling to remember his name. . . .Porkerson continues to dribble on himself but has made it to the end of the alphabet and now appears to be stuck on the W X Y Z portion . . . and I am lying on the floor in total confusion trying to figure out how strong the wood glue is that is holding the wooden table together above me. . . All in all. . . . a pretty good night!!! And needless to say, "I BLAME PORKERSON!"
. Poor Porkerson 
