Am I Demented or Something?

Joined
Sep 5, 2005
Messages
2,826
I like knives. I also watch television while playing with various knives. I even read books while tinkering around with a knife. Naturally my wife thinks there's something wrong with me and I decided to post here to see if anyone else had this problem. (Not with knives, but with their wives -- we all know such behavior is natural.) :D

But seriously, she's giving me a hard time. Am I demented? I mean, I haven't taken anyone hostage...I just like my knives.
 
Well, If you're demented I suspect there are a lot of us that fall in that same categorey. :D There are 5 knives sitting on my computer table - 3 more sitting on a file cabinet next to me and some drawers within reach that have 80 or 90 knives in them. (haven't counted in a few months )

I think my wife would think there was something wrong with me if I wasn't sharpening, tinkering, or playing around with a knife of some sort. :D
 
The other night I was lying in bed methodically shaving small patches of hair from my forearms using various knives from a collection of about 15 kept in a velvet lined box on my nightstand. I turned to my wife and asked "do you think this is weird?" She said it was a perfectly good hobby. So there you have it - if that's not demented then nothing you're doing is demented either.
 
brewthunda said:
The other night I was lying in bed methodically shaving small patches of hair from my forearms using various knives from a collection of about 15 kept in a velvet lined box on my nightstand. I turned to my wife and asked "do you think this is weird?" She said it was a perfectly good hobby. So there you have it - if that's not demented then nothing you're doing is demented either.
I like this one, because I suspected it went like this:

Brewthunda lays in bed, a ceiling fan slowly turning overhead. He pulls out a knife from the nightstand, raises his left arm, and draaaaags the blade down his arm, blows the hair off the knife, and draaaaags the blade down his arm again.

He smiles and glances at his horrified wife. He turns, and points the knife at her. "Do you think this is weird?" he asks.

She shakes her head no, very quickly. "I SAID, do YOU think THIS is WEIRD?" he said, as the ceiling fan turns. She starts to shrink back. Brewthunda leaps from bed, and punches a mirror into pieces, ignoring the blood on his knuckles. "DO you THINK this IS weird?" he says again.

"N-no... no," she pleads. "I think it's a very good hobby... please, just don't hurt me..."

Brewthunda smiles and nods, and says "In a few days, I'll be going down the river...."
 
I only play with knives while on the computer. If I did it while watching tv, I might stab the cat, who has a tendency to jump up on my lap while I'm watching the tube. seems normal to me :D
 
It becomes NOT normal when you turn down conjugal relations with your woman and stay up getting that "final polish" on an edge.

Not that that has ever happened with me, of course...
 
GibsonFan said:
It becomes NOT normal when you turn down conjugal relations with your woman and stay up getting that "final polish" on an edge.

Yeah, then you'll be "polishing your knife" alright.
 
I think you're just a knife guy.

But hey, at least in a few years when "demented" becomes a catchword for "cool," you can say: "I was demented before it was cool!"

Knives are stupid, demented, obese, and sho'nuff idiotic.

Take care.
 
Thank you. Well, maybe I shouldn't have had my knives out while watching that movie about Bobbie Darin (it was a waste anyway because Kevin Spacey didn't get to finish the song, "Mac the Knife"). But anyway, it shows that deep down most people have a fascination with blades.

The German version of the threepenny production, according to Wikipedia, translated into English:

And the shark, he has teeth,
And he wears them in his face,
And MacHeath, he has a knife
But the knife one does not see.

So what's the world coming to when your own wife doesn't trust you?

Sheeeeeesh!
 
When I recently gave my EDC to a buddy of mine who was starting up the Police Academy, I suffered a visceral reaction to not having an EDC. If I'm not carrying it feels like something is missing. And I suspect that most here feel the same.
 
As I often remind my wife "you are not crazy when you talk to your knife, you are crazy when your knife answers back".
Seriously find time to give the Mrs a foot rub and she will take your knife hobby much less critically. Women are very jealous of anything that steals their mans attention.
 
Back
Top