An apology and explanation.

Yvsa

Yvsa

Joined
May 18, 1999
Messages
15,395
I’ve been acting like an ass for a little time now and not just all at once, and not only here. :(

I had some trouble with my medicine, or actually the lack thereof and went off the deep end. :(
My sweet wife Barbie had been asking me the last couple of weeks if I was all right and with her not knowing that; depression is the Great Liar she really didn’t know that I was not all right. Barbie now knows what to watch for now and the right words to warn me if I get to acting out of character so that I will pay attention to her, so hopefully nothing like this will ever happen again.
A while back I went off the anti-depressant I was on because it was so damnably expensive and living on a fixed income, for those of you who don’t know, we are both retired and on Social Security and we just couldn’t afford it. It wasn’t doing anything but taking the edge off anyway and I thought I could handle it, obviously I couldn’t and didn’t. :(
A little time under medical supervision the last few days and a balancing of my med’s and things are all better now I am happy to say!!!!
And the Dr. put me on a medicine that he can keep me in free samples of and has agreed to do that so I won’t be tempted to go off the medicine again.
And with the new medicine I am actually feeling happy once again, something I haven’t felt in a long time. The extra energy I have is a real blessing as well!!!! :)

I became obsessed and fixated on the so-called habaki bolsters and the thin edges we have been getting from HI that there is no excuse for and I went about things terribly wrong. It’s all right for a man to have an opinion, just not all right for him to force it on others. I was sounding like a newly born again X-tian trying to convert everyone and everyone one who knows me knows that I was really out of character, even if I am one who speaks my mind.:(
I have learned though, that even though I am responsible for taking my medicine properly, that I am not necessarily responsible for my actions when I don’t take it, but that is an oxymoron if I ever uttered one.:rolleyes:

In my defense in calling the 17”-18” Foxy Folly the “Cherokee Special II” on the other forum it is/was the suggestion of Foxjaw of whom I asked permission if it would be all right for me to copy his design in a shorter length and that he kindly gave that permission to me with the suggestion of calling it the “Cherokee Special II”. To me the design belongs to the designer and not necessarily the manufacturer.
I couldn’t care less what the khukuri is called as long as it could be made to everyone’s satisfaction. I still believe it would be an ultimate mid-sized khukuri the same as the original is the ultimate Large Sized Khukuri!!!!

I just pray that everyone can understand that what you saw represented by me is not the person I really am.
 
We all make errors in judgment and have off times. I know I do. Friends are the ones who love you in spite of that. It is hard to come clean and that you do is a big measure of your character. You are one of the good guys in my book at least.
 
HI Philosophy - make it right. I think you just did that.

Besides, sometimes it takes an extreme opinion to make people reevaluate entrenched positions. HI khuks are marketed as the best thing coming out of Nepal. Many of us (myself included) have come to trust that. Most of the time, it's true. It's also true that there's room for improvement. Personally, I think that improvement should be made, so HI continues to be the best.

Glad you're working on the meds. Depression is a slippery foe, and the fixed income doesn't help with mood or meds.

:cool:
 
I was sounding like a newly born again X-tian trying to convert everyone
Click to expand...

I know it is sometimes hard to bear "newly born Christians" around - but being a Christian myself I think that there must be room for this sometimes extreme drive to testify and convert - it has its merits and is necessary sometimes - and some of the more established should discover at least a little bit of this drive again and not be so convenient.
I know that I compare two VERY differnt things but it is a similar thing with HI too. If we - the customers get too convenient and accept too many flaws (in my eyes not the case yet - but I am not an expert) the price will be that we make steps backwards instead of progress - and HI should stay the No 1!
So I guess there was/will be at least (sure there are more) one good thing about your sometimes harsh words. However I am glad you now have better medicine (no, not because of the words, but because you feel better and can afford what you need - have strengh.)

Andreas

edited due to bad spelling
 
Great news that you're feeling better. A supportive, forgiving wife is a fine thing.
 
Smoke for everyone goes up from here daily.
We are only human, complete with all of our flaws.

Everyone knows you're a good man Yvsa, even the best of men have bad days.
 
Originally posted by CAVEDWELLER
Hey Yvsa, did you find something on your doorstep yesterday?
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Yes, I did CD!!!! And many thanks!!!! It is very beautiful, just wish I had of been around to give you the one I have for you,:( but there will be another time.
Give me a call sometime when you're gonna have some time and you can come out and we can shoot the bull about things in general for a while, khukuris especially.;)
If you don't have my number shoot me an e-mail and I will send it to you. Next Saturday we're gonna be busy with a Sweatlodge ceremony most of the afternoon and up until 10:00 or 11:00 or so, you're welcome to come if you would like, people of all faiths are welcome.:)
I can guarantee you will have a whole new outlook on what -Hot- is.:D

Gonzo_Beyondo wrote:
"Smoke for everyone goes up from here daily.
We are only human, complete with all of our flaws.

Everyone knows you're a good man Yvsa, even the best of men have bad days."

Thanks Gonzo!!!! :)
And all the rest of you too!!!!
Depression is indeed the -Great Liar- and can cause a man to do things he normally wouldn't do.:(
I haven't had a bout with it this bad since 1967 when I was mustered out of the serice.:(
Thankfully it was an honorable discharge albeit a medical one with a diagnosis of "Severe Anxiety Depression."
 
Yvsa--thanks for letting us know what's up. I too suffer from depression. It can be a terrible thing. For what it's worth, I consider you to be one of the good guys.
--Josh
 
Yvsa,
I am very glad to hear that you are feeling better. :D I hope your plans in the khukuri field come to flower also, as it seems your tastes please my eye and spirit also. Stay well!!
 
Yvsa: in case you didn't know, some antidepressants have gone generic. The problem is when they go generic, only one company is allowed to make the generic for six months. Sometimes one manufacturer's version of the generic will work and sometimes another maker's generic won't.

I went off the brand name to the one generic maker at the time, and found it didn't work for me. Had to change to another antidepressant altogether. A year later I found out that there were now other companies making it and the manufacturer Costco used ( Mylan ) had worked for half a dozen of the doctor's other patients. So I tried it, and it worked just fine.

A one month fill of 2/3rd's of the maximum dose came to $10.69 for 60 pills of 20 mg. fluoxetine ( generic of Prozac ). Plus the roughly $50 a yesr cost of being a Costco member. Brand name antidepressants can cost $300 to over $400 for a single month's supply. Check the other antidepressants available.

Costco has an online pharmacy where you can go to look up the prices, and I think they are the same prices as at the local Costco. Google or other search engines can find the site for you.

When my health insurance changed, I went 6 weeks before I was able to buy the antidepressant I spoke of above ( because of lack of knowledge of an alternative ). That journey through hell ended 3 weeks ago. And even if you know and understand what's happening, after a while you don't care and start breathing fire like an angry dragon.

BTW: what do you think of the contents of the triangular box that arrived at your place Saturday? Yeah, it needs to be just about fully refurbished, but I think that ugly duckling ( I'm not talking about you, Quackipuss ) can be made into a swan. And you can do it, Yvsa, that I know.
 
I have friends and family medicated as you are. My wife has bipolar disorder, (used to be called manic/depressive) She was medicated for depression, then found that she was still depressed. This is the first sign of Bipolar. She was at the point of thinking that driving into the oncoming lane might be a good idea...luckily the meds kicked in,she underwent therapy for some childhood traumas, and she is better than ever. (A weaker soul might just divorce a person in this unmedicated state, but I'm either stubborn or stupid--call it Fidelity).

I jsut hope the many folk I know that have gone un-diagnosed find help soon, and those out there with feelings of unworthiness,uselesness, ineffectiveness, GO SEEK HELP. You can fix it. It's often jsut a chemical disorder.

Anyhow Yvsa, ya did seem a bit outta character. Gladta have ya back.

Keith
 
Glad you're feeling better.
Been there, done that.
You did sound a little put out for a time there,
but thought it was the usual ebb & flow we all know.
Wondered where you were the past few days.
 
Yvsa, depression is an awful thing I have been fighting it every day for a long time and have a feel for how hard it can be. You have great friends here at the cantina. Kind thoughts on the Northerly winds out of Oz:)
 
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