I'm not a drummer, but I've lived with a couple, and I've set up and miced a few kits. As far as priorities go on getting gear, you want to have a great throne. Spend the money you need to to get the seat that fits you. Next is the snare, again, find one you like, but there has to me a reason why most of the backline I've set up has a note "drummer providing x size snare, provide stand to fit" Finally, you'll end up finding petals that work for you. Try as many as you can. Mixing and matching is your friend on a budget, and if you can find yourself a drum frame, it allows you much more freedom for what you end up with. (although some guys really love having everything stuck to the kick) And don't waste money on a double kick unless you really need one.
Since lots of drummers change out gear, finding used bits and pieces should be easy, but don't be afraid to turn someone down if it doesn't sound right to you. just like buying cars, if you can't drive it, don't buy it. Don't let someone sell you anything you are unsure of.
The only thing I've heard about buying sticks, is to buy a pair whenever you can, so that you don't end up with several sets from the same batch in case they are brittle. (although I've also been told by much older drummers, that if you are breaking things, your technique is bad)
