Attacked by an Emerson Kerambiter! (WARNING: GRAPHICALLY ICKY PHOTOS LINKED HERE)

[Vampire Gerbil]

Good Evening.
It is I,
THE INCREDIBLY SCARRED VAMPIRE GERBIL!

I shall forego....or fivego the story of how I was minding my own business and got viciously attacked by an Emerson Kerambit...Serial # 235, so don't you go trying to hide anywhere Mister Attackerknife, you! I got your number, lterally!

The story is told in an IN YOUR FACE, YOWZA! fashion here, at the The EVIL EMERSON KERAMBITer STRIKES (me)! Webpage I just made up (with one arm cuz my other one is ever so wounded owwie-owwie-ouchiepoo!)

I gotta tell ya though, there's icky photos and what the MPAA has coined "Pervasive Language" on this page, so if you got a weak stomach or words like ****, **** and **** offend you, ya might not wanna go there.

What happened was I had to go get stitched up at the hopsicle and I had this Nokia Cell Phone/Camera with me and took picture of the entire ordeal.
Now don't get TOO nervous... it was my right inner forearm that was ever so injured. It ain't like REALLY scary and gross like the thing jumped up and bit my loins or anything.
(I wouldn't admit to that, nor would I be able to photograph anything were that to have happened!)

However my sense of duty to my fellow man...woman... person..hum...
crap, none of those fit me, now do they!
My meglomaniacal sense of a starving need for attention forces me to offer this page on the pretense that you might be safer after having seen it.
Then again, I realize you'll feel safer and safer the further away ya live from Nevada.

So, without any further adiue...damn, that's a French word....
Without any further FREEDOM!....
Damn, now I just got reminded of when Mel Gibson screamed that in Braveheart and that involved cutting too!
OK, look, ya read the waning, ya know I ain't right in the head, so if ya want, go to: The EVIL EMERSON KERAMBITer STRIKES (me)! Webpage.

If after viewing th page and you truly feel my pain, feel free to offer me cash.
Ladies, feel free to offer me eyelashes.
(I dunno either, but this ain't W&C and it was all I could think of that wouldn't get zapped)

Oh, and I dunno if I ever mentioned that I went to Blade Show in Atlanta?
There's a link to that on the DEADLY KERABIT PAGE, but if ya wanna skip that cuz of the gory pics of me getting stitched up, ya can just go to:The I WAS AT BLADE SHOW 2003 (me)! Webpage.
(There's still words like ****, ****, and **** there, so be advised.

Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go rest my horrily wounded entire right side (Hey, pain spreads!) and figure out how to spend all that money I'll make on that class action suit against Emerson Knives,
I remain,
VG
PS - No, don't get any ideas about getting in on my class action suit. This one's for me, Dave, Lorena and the host of others that live inside of me.... except for that ****ing mime! She really annoys me.... probably French, but since she don't talk, I can't tell... but she smells of garlic and snails and braids her armpit hair.

PSS - If you're French, I'm just joshing. I'd pick on Canada like every good American, but Nordack's got hold of my Simonich Raven and until I get that back, I gotta be nice to Canada.....
Humming Canadian National Anthem in a flabbergasted manner,
I remain,
VG

 

[The Deacon]

Let's look at this issue more closely. Knives are intended to cut, that's what they are made for, the Kerambit is specifically designed and intended to cut human flesh (well maybe the occasional crazed poodle too), its usfulness for any other purpose is limited at best, to the point that such use might very well be deemed misuse. The Kerambit cut you. Now, assuming you are human, the knife performed exactly as the manufacturer intended. Product liability claims should only be actionable if the product fails to perform as advertised, or causes injurys that a person of normal intelligence would not expect it to be capable of inflicting.

 

[Burchtree]

Last night A Katz knife did a little slicing on my left "pointin'" finger. Just sharpened and then decided to clean up the handle and guard. :grumpy: I slipped, got nice 1-inch gash between first and second knuckle of finger. I knew I kept my knives dull for a reason.