Attenion Sarge

M

mattjerom

Joined
Jan 6, 2003
Messages
115
The barracks are quiet and the mop suits are stored
The weapons are zeroed now I'm waiting to board
We'll load to the rail and then to the ship
Hoping to god that I'll keep my grip
I'd be a liar to say that I'm not afraid
Hoping last nights not the last I'll get laid
But I am a soldier from the proud and the free
Thousand of people are praying for me
They gave me the strength they gave me the tools
The enemy thought we were cowards and fools
Now is the time to prove that their wrong
Our hearts our minds our souls are strong
Remeber the towers that crumbeled and fell
Time to send Sadam to the corners of hell.
 
Very cool... I like it. Just a couple of errors if I may point them out:

mop suits should be MOPP suits.
"god" should be spelled "God."
"Nights" should be spelled "night's" (contraction of night and is)
It is not "their wrong." It should be "they're wrong."
You made a typo on "remeber."
"Crumbeled" should be spelled "crumbled."
"Sadam" should be spelled "Saddam."

Please don't take my post wrong. I truly like your poem. Great sentiment and evoked a powerful mental image. I wish I had the attention of a poetic Muse. But alas, I am relegated to proofreading another man's work.
 
The barracks are quiet and the mopp suits are stored
The weapons are zeroed now I'm waiting to board
We'll load to the rail and then to the ship
Hoping to God that I'll keep my grip
I am a soldier from the proud and the free
Thousand of people are praying for me
They gave me the strength they gave me the tools
The enemy thought we were cowards and fools
Now is the time to prove that they're wrong
Our hearts our minds our souls are strong
Remember the towers that crumbled and fell
Time to send Saddam to the corners of hell.
 
Very, very, nice job Matt, I really like it. As far as sending Saddam to the corners of hell, well, we'll see about that. Regarding him, I'm reminded of the line uttered by bartenders everywhere, "Closing time gents, you don't have to go home, but you do have to go".:D

Sarge
 
I'm no poet, but here's one sent to me by a friend that y'all might like;

I am a small and precious child, my dads been sent to fight..
The only place I'll see his face, is in my dreams at night.
He will be gone too many days for my young mind to keep track.
I may be sad, but I am proud. My daddy's got your back..

I am a caring mother. My daughter has gone to war..
My mind is filled with worries that I have never known before.
Everyday I try to keep my thoughts from turning black.
I may be scared, but I am proud..My daughter's got your back..

I am a strong and loving wife, with a husband soon to go.
There are times I'm terrified in a way most never know.
I bite my lip, and force a smile as I watch my husband pack..
My heart may break, but I am proud..My husbands got your back..

I am a Soldier..Serving Proudly, standing tall.
I fight for freedom, yours and mine by answering this call.
I do my job while knowing, the thanks it sometimes lacks.
Say a prayer that I'll come home. It's me who's got your back.


:) Sarge
 
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