Balancing wants and needs

SilverFoxKnows

SilverFoxKnows

Joined
Sep 25, 2002
Messages
3,179
I've been wrestling with this for a few months, now. When my wife got the new Civic I wanted a new car of my own so bad a couldn't see straight. I don't need a new car. My old VW runs. It gets me to work and does okay on gas. To call it spartan would be generous, though. The last few days I've been think about an upcoming birthday. I can think of plenty of things I want but I need very little. I'd like to get another scandi blade but there's really nothing wrong with the little EKA 88 in my pocket. I'd like to get another khuk but the AK and WWII really do everything I ask of them. I'd like another tattoo but that's an expensive luxury. How do you balance wants and needs? As I sit at my desk at work I'm looking at a stone staute of the Buddha that my sister-in-law gave me. Thinking about the Four Noble Truths. I know suffering comes from attachment to things that were never meant to last forever. Will a Masur birch handed EKA make my life better? No. But it sure is purdy. How often do we look to outside things to bring us happiness? For myself, I do it more often than I would like. So, how do you balance wants and needs?

Frank

P.S. Wow, that was a long rambling post. Appearantly I didn't get enough sleep last night.
 
First you have to give away all of the knives you have to your friends and fellow forumites.
Then you'll NEED to go out and buy some new ones.
 
Interesting post. I've been thinking alot about that "stuff" lately, too. Just spent almost all my savings going to Reno, my sons wedding and up to Denver to see my other son and let Karen visit her dad. All the time and money was worth more than any of the "things" I could have bought with all the money. I may be temporarily financially challenged, but I'm very happy and have had the most memorable summer that I can remember.



And I don't have any more junk to dust :D :D
 
To each his/her own, I'd guess. Hard to say what is a value to someone else.

I moved from Chicago to rural Wisconsin for a variety of reasons, one of which was to examine my values outside the environment in which I had lived and more-or-less successfully endeavored.

I have observed over the years that once you get out of the canoe on the river, and just stand on the bank and watch, you notice that a lot of the stuff floating by is...not of any pertinent value to you in your development of self. Most of it is just stuff. You were just so busy paddling you took little note of it.

Becoming aware of your values...the real stuff...is a bit of an excavation and sometimes for me, painful.

I look back on a lot of experiences in a wide variety of forums and note that for all the effort, goals, achievements, embarrassments and interactions with so many others...that I most remember the people, the sense of being a companion in arms, and the warmth of those relationships that has carried the years, even if all the specifics are hazy or gone.

I'm only bitter about a few people I've met, and even those I should forgive, but can't, yet.

But stuff..."stuff"...notwithstanding all the crap I have accumulated...is just stuff.

I truly love some memories though. I have been blessed to know a few remarkable people very well.

Decades ago, I was sent a card from some friends, which read:

"We need people who are important to us; people to whom we turn, knowing that being with them...is coming home."






Be well and safe.
 
Who said the source of pain was attachment to stuff?

Stuff is good, so you don't have to think about real stuff.

It's all good.




munk
 
You don't want to get so attached to possessions that you can't do without them. But there are philosophies that insist you not get so attached to yourself, your ego, that you can't let that go, too. Do you want to stop being you?

Possessions that make you smile, without making you clench them with a rigid desire, are OK. If you can't afford to buy a new car, go ahead and get that Masur birch EKA. :)
 
I have always thought (probably to my detriment!) that "it's only money." If it makes you happy, does not cause unhappiness to others, does not cause hardship on your family, then what the hell, just do it. If I waited till the time was right I wouldn't have anything.

I believe I previously mentioned an acquintance of mine who worked for 25 years for the Social Security Administration. The job from hell. They have an armed guard in this "Joe VS. The Volcano" hellhole office, complete with flickering flourescent lights, that makes the DMV look like the view from Diamond Head.

He never married or had kids, never traveled, lived with his mother until she died in an old messy house, rode a bicycle to work to save money, read his neighbors day old newspapers, didn't own a computer, always wore cheap clothes and was the tightest SOB with a dime since Jack Benny. He would buy the cheapest item on the menu whether he liked it or not and then only eat half of it and take the rest with him. No tip of course. When we went to social events or potlucks where we were supposed to bring food, he would bring a small bag of Hershey's miniature chocolates with his name on them, and then take the rest home with him at the end of the night. The next event he would bring back the same bag of chocolates. By the time they were 4 years old people pretty much knew not to eat the things.

We would go out to a restaurant and he wouldn't order anything but ice water, but then would pick at other people's meals (he almost got a fork in the back of his hand when he tried that with me.)

He retired in his early 50's after 25 years, and within 2 months was diagnosed with a particularly malignant form of skin cancer, and within 5 months was dead of malignant melanoma. When he was dying he would call me to take him to the store (he wouldn't pay for a nurse, or hire anyone to shop for him. He would phone me up at home and tell me to be at his house 15 miles away and at what time. Didn't matter what I was doing. I alternated with about a dozen other acqaintances he used. How could I say no when I knew he was dying?) One time he wanted some oranges, but wouldn't buy a small bag full because he said they weren't on sale and were too expensive!! :eek:

So he denied himself everything, even oranges when he was dying. He left everything to a very, very, weird mentally ill young woman, who we found out later was the only woman who had ever slept with him. (If you knew him, believe me, she earned every penny.) His house sold for $600,000, and it was discovered later that he had other bank accounts and investments worth over $1 million dollars!

He could have lived life to the max with that kind of money. He could have traveled the world, climbed a mountain, sailed across the ocean, earned an advanced degree, learned how to skydive, or even bought a new knife he didn't really need! Instead he was always living for tomorrow and then got nothing.

So, my advice is, GO FOR IT! I like what Robert Heinlein said on the subject in The Notebooks of Lazarus Long: "Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks!" (Or "Munks?" (-:)

Of course, I should practice what I preach... but at least I do when it comes to khuks. (-:


Regards,

Norm
 
Automobiles are major, depreciating assets. The beneficial amortization takes place after the car is paid off. I take a lot of satisfaction in driving a reliable car to its mechanical death. Especially when you get 5 to 10 years of low cost (maintenance and gas) commuting out of it.
 
I take a lot of satisfaction in driving a reliable car to its mechanical death.>>>>>>>>>


I'm trying to keep the same attitude about my body/life as it wears out.


munk
 
To be soul-baringly honest, I do spend too much money on toys.
Especially in Japan, where I cant even play with many of my swords because customs wont allow them in.
Lots of HI and other purchases I have made over the last two years I have never even seen!
They are all in a closet at my mother's house.

BUT, and I have a big but, I try to expand my own mind, spirit, what have you with the big pruchases, make it count, go as far as I can.

I just bought a Satsuma Biwa. IT was 900$ from an antique store and the restoration cost me another 1000$
BUT, I practice every single day and I am studying under the president of the Tokyo Biwa society.
He took me on as a student because of my "zeal"

So, its not a "useful" purchase in the survival sense of the word, but I am fulfilling the promise of my own life-potential with it.
(Im trying to, anyway)

Zeal is a good word for it.
Whatever you do with your money, be Zealous about it.
Share your zeal with others.
Dont hide your zeal.
 
I take a lot of satisfaction in driving a reliable car to its mechanical death. Especially when you get 5 to 10 years of low cost (maintenance and gas) commuting out of it.
Click to expand...
If my mechanic does as he promised and picks up my '74 BMW 2002 tomorrow to replace the timing chain, I'll see your 5 to 10 and raise you a few! :D Meanwhile, I'll just have to putter around in Mom's '80 Monte Carlo.
 
Munk, "Driving your body to it's mechanical death" is what we're ALL doing...some just drive a little further than others. I feel like I've already got a million miles on mine, and yet I never cease to be amazed that I've made it thru another day :D
 
every year around my birthday. The wife calls me Eyore (did I spell that right?) (from Winnie the Pooh). Don't mind me.

Frank
 
It's never just money. I had a few lean years early on and money gets you food, shelter, and clothing - stuff that's needed. Not optional, and when it wasn't there, I sure did miss it. :)

But stuff in general? It comes and goes. Lose everything and survive, and you have the chance to reaquire it. Keep everything and die and that stuff's pretty meaningless. Fortunately we spend most of our time between these extremes.

If you want something, and you've got the money, and your needs are being met...well, why not go for it? Living for the moment doesn't pay the bills but you've got to reward yourself now and again. You never know when it's your time to go, right? (Or the time to go for the guy sitting next to you on the plane, for that matter.)

Sure, attachment can cause suffering, but so can a refusal to become attached. This has probably caused me more suffering than everything else in my life combined. :( It's causing me suffering right now as I think and write about it. I'd rather regret something that I did than something that I didn't. I wish I'd known this when I was younger.

But hey, if we all knew then what we know now, we'd be multibillionaires living on our own islands. :)
 
On the balance, the discretionary money I've spent facilitating "time and place" situations has been more gratifying than the money spent on tangibles. To my way of thinking, money applied toward generating great memories is money well spent.
 
Money does buy happiness, but it's fleeting.

Time is the most valauble thing you have.

Spend THAT wisely.

And plan that you always have enough money to live decently, and hopefully, have some left over to buy toys.

Toys make me happy- swear one day I'll have the clip-fed Barrett .50, and enough left over to shoot it all day.

But then I'll want something else- see my first line.


Ad Astra
 
That was an awesome story, Norm. Thanks:)

We all want more stuff. Hording is not only human nature, it's animal nature. However, what makes unique is that as humans we sometimes see that the lack of stuff makes us richer and better off than if we had lots of stuff. Having less stuff is somewhat of a novelty in modern society. Think about camping. Why do we go? to get out into the wilds and feel the dormant heartbeat of our inner beast? Sure, that's part of it. However, most of the time it's just for us to get away from "stuff". We pack what we "need"...and a little bit extra into a car, a truck, or a jeep and leave behind mountains of stuff that we say we need, but don't. We say things like "We're roughing it like Mountain Men," etc. We all have a chuckle and by the end of the week are glad we have all that stuff waiting for us back home.
On the other hand, if you have all your ends met, why not? The only people that shouldn't buy things are the people that dup themselves into believing that they have reached a level of financial status which they have not. heck, even a person that makes a very small wage can afford a new car if they are smart about it. It just kills me when i see a family of five living in a tiny house in a bad neighborhood with the weeds growing up...with a 'vet in the driveway, and a boat that matches the 'vet, and motorcycle that matches the boat and the 'vet in the garage. Why?

jake
 
I have worked for Social Security for 21 years. The part that evaluates disability and SSI claims. By the time I am 53 I would have the proper combination of years of service and age to qualify for retirement, but I can't collect it till I am 55. Also we have a deal here where you can trade every day of your sick leave for a month of insurance when you retire.

My plan barring no bad thing would be to save some bucks between now 45 and 53 and then quit at 53 and pay the premiums to be covered till 55 when I could use the trade in stuff. Lot of folks I work with say they can't afford to retire that early but my argument is always the same as Svastar, how do you know how long you will last?? And our job is unbelieveabley frustrating and unfufulling most of the time. On the other hand it is a steady job in a state with poor employment prospects and it has allowed us to be able to live in the country, hunt, hike and shoot on our own land, raise animals, etc so it's a wash. Also dealing with difficulty and frustration TO A POINT is a spiritual exercise as well.

Attachment to things is what the various schools of religion argue against. I think you can go overboard on getting things, and I have before. On the other hand I have known a lot of folks in real poverty, and below a certain level it makes you a worse person, most folks anyway. There's a middle ground there somewhere we all gotta try to find. :D
 
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