Battle Rat Bested by Marshmallows (parody thread)

salsbre

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Apr 15, 2004
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so I thought battle rats were sposed to be so tough !
well I couldn't believe this happened to me: I was making smores for my boy scout troop and decided to slice some marshmallows thin to accelerate the melting process....After slicing just ONE i noticed it had a sticky white residue all over my supposedly rugged Battle Rat blade....I rubbed and rubbed it with a rag soaked in acetone to clean it THEN I NOTICED THE COATING CAME OFF!
I was so angry I started chopping tents and canoes apart and well...I'm out on bail now pending arraignment and ummm...i've got a no knife bail order...
 
roflmao.gif
 
salsbre said:
I was making smores for my boy scout troop and decided to slice some marshmallows thin to accelerate the melting process....After slicing just ONE i noticed it had a sticky white residue all over my supposedly rugged Battle Rat blade....


You are supposed to heat the blade up in the fire first to make the cutting go easier. This even cooks the mallows as you cut them. If you get it really nice and hot so it glows you can even use it to ward off mosquitoes. It also works well to make toast, just slice the bread and you are done.

-Cliff
 
hmmmm....so if I had tried that then none of this would have happened, including getting shot out of a Spruce tree by a Park Ranger SWAT team using bear tranquilizers...
ya learn a lot on these forums!
 
If you were in practice with your knife drills, you should have been able to deflect all of those darts. For shame :o



;)
 
Yeah, if you had the blade nice and hot, with a quick wrist flick you could have snapped the blade free of the grip and shot it into the barrel of the gun blocking the darts, it would then spot weld itself in place as it cooled.

-Cliff
 
well, at the time my battle rat was unfortunately stuck in the hull of an Old Town Canoe and with the boy scouts throwing rocks at me too...I didn't have much chance up in that tree...
 
Well, I hope you leaned you lesson from this sad experience! Next time I amsure you will choose a more hardy knife when you have to cut marshmellows!

Thor
 
damn! another case of not knowing the right tool for the job. I thought all REAL boy scouts were issued the emergency pocket smores making kit with a professional mallow cutter. I shutter to think of this not being the case :D
 
yeah i improvise too much...like the time at the Jamboree I tried to teach the scouts how to fillet fresh caught cutthroat trout with a rear tine rototiller...
 
so I thought battle rats were sposed to be so tough !
well I couldn't believe this happened to me: I was making smores for my boy scout troop and decided to slice some marshmallows thin to accelerate the melting process....After slicing just ONE i noticed it had a sticky white residue all over my supposedly rugged Battle Rat blade....I rubbed and rubbed it with a rag soaked in acetone to clean it THEN I NOTICED THE COATING CAME OFF!
I was so angry I started chopping tents and canoes apart and well...I'm out on bail now pending arraignment and ummm...i've got a no knife bail order...
Now that's funny!

Now for the real important question... How did the knife hold up after hacking through all those tents and canoes?! :D ;)
 
this same thing happend to a freind of mine. i think if you send the court papers to the swamp rat customer service dep thay will send you a new knife no questions asked :D and if you ask thay will reprofile the edge for better marshmallow slicing!

....justin
 
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