Becker Facts, Myths, and Legends

SaturatedShadow

SaturatedShadow

Joined
Apr 28, 2010
Messages
1,155
BeckerHeads are constantly coming up with humorous facts and sayings about Becker knives which may or may not be entirely true, but never fail to produce a grin or even a chuckle. It's time they got their own thread.

Post your Becker Facts, Myths, and Legends here.





Recent scientific research indicates that the Becker BK-9 is the true cause of global warming.

Warning: A dropped BK-2 may cause earthquakes.

At the center of each black hole in the universe is a Becker BK-2.

If Becker knives came with a green coating, they would be capable of photosynthesis.

The Becker BK-7 has been found to be 2.5 times more effective than wooden stakes at killing vampires.

With the proper mindset, staring through the eye of the Eskabar can allow you to see through walls and start fires with your gaze.

The Lady of the Lake gave Excalibur to King Arthur because she had recently purchased a BK-9 for herself and no longer needed an Excalibur.

Jedi knights must use light sabers because a BK-2, when carried into outer space, develops its own gravity field.

It is widely known that the pommel of a Becker Necker can serve as a bottle opener. However, the BK-11 bottle opener is also a key. It opens a secret doorway on a ridge in Tennessee that can only be found by the light of a full moon on the night of the summer solstice. Through this doorway is a vast cavern that contains The Holy Grail, The Lost City of Atlantis, and every sock you have ever lost in your dryer.

A Becker BK-2 can, in fact, destroy the One Ring.
 
SaturatedShadow said:
BeckerHeads are constantly coming up with humorous facts and sayings about Becker knives which may or may not be entirely true, but never fail to produce a grin or even a chuckle. It's time they got their own thread.

Jedi knights must use light sabers because a BK-2, when carried into outer space, develops its own gravity field.
Click to expand...

That one is entirely true. In fact, I have a photo of a Jedi handling his first BK2 dirtside.
1003794r.jpg


Just thought that you should all see that.

Also, I hear that Chuck Norris tried to use a BK2 as a toothpick, and it chipped his tooth. The BK2 was unharmed.
 
It is a common misconception that Ethan designed the BK2. In all honesty, it was designed and forged by Zeus himself atop Mt. Olympus, and handed down to Ethan to share with the rest of man so that we could tame this wild world we call Earth.
 
DerekH said:
It is a common misconception that Ethan designed the BK2. In all honesty, it was designed and forged by Zeus himself atop Mt. Olympus, and handed down to Ethan to share with the rest of man so that we could tame this wild world we call Earth.
Click to expand...

I always thought that the BK2 was made from pieces of Excalibur.
 
the Machax was not invented. it just is. in fact, it dreamed up Ethan, because who would believe a wild Machax about its origin story? better to have a fall guy :)
 
The BK2 was created by Zeus and Aphrodite after they made wild monkey sex.

The BK2 was born, a blade of beauty and strength that no man has ever seen.....

Bladite please stop sending me PM's asking for naked pics of myself.
 
Originally the logo picture for Blade Forums was supposed to be a BK-2. But when they heard Chuck Norris chipped a tooth with one, they were afraid it would piss him off.
 
One can simply walk into Mordor, if he has a BK9 on his belt.
Chuck Norris clips his toe nails with a BK14
Every BK2 is heat treated in the fires of Hades
Bk12's can preform mitosis. They just don't want to.
Whilst browsing the FAQ Ethan Becker thought of a new knife idea. Bladite still has the scars to prove it.
 
whereismyclock said:
Whilst browsing the FAQ Ethan Becker thought of a new knife idea. Bladite still has the scars to prove it.
Click to expand...

just emotional scars :>

i have the prototypes too ;)

oh, yeah, sorry, 2015 for that one :)
 
It was said that optimus-prime clumsily tripped and fell into a trash compactor which was activate shortly after. Later that day Ethan Becker was dumping a bag of bear grylis gerber knives at the dump when he discovered the remains of the robot hero which would soon be known as the BK2
 
BKT knives are not knives, they are each small demi-gods in their most evolved state.

BKT knives are not made, they are picked from trees found in Valhalla.

BKT knives were USED at the Battle of Thermopylae, not just safed queened.

BKT knives will add inches to your wang.

BKT knives will make you rich.

BKT knives do not come with a life sentence, its more like indentured servitude.

You do not wield BKT knives. They wield you.

BKT knives are fertile, do not leave two of them alone.

At MIT, they conducted a study, they placed a BK2 in an empty room with 2 bowling balls, and left them there overnight. In the morning, one of the bowling balls was destroyed, the other, was pregnant. What was learned? Never leave your BKT's unattended, who knows what will happen.

Moose
 
Good stuff, everyone. Beckerheads have a great sense of humor, and are apparently well versed in science fiction, fantasy, and mythology.:D



Gripping a Becker knife grants you immunity to the Zombie Virus.

The black coating used by Ka-Bar contains garlic, just in case you have to fight a vampire.

Whatever passes through the eye of the Eskabar is blessed by the power of both Ethan Becker and Jeff Randall.

The BK-5 is so fast that whatever it cuts is actually being cut .0578 seconds in the future.
 
I've heard that throwing the bk2 in the air while blindfolded cures constipation. The pommel of the BK2 is also designed to cure diarrhea, but you must keep the knife in the sheath.
 
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