Becoming A Man

A

akivory

Joined
Feb 5, 2001
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When did you become a man? I can honestly say it was not until I was 26. My new wife was pregnant and I was working as a a remote fire guard in the bush here in Alaska. There were complications and my wife had to be be flown out of a village in a Lear Jet. With incredible dept and having to quit my job and face the reality that I could no longer live for myself. That was 29 years ago , I have given my life to my family and it has paid off big time. When we go to a restaurant with our grown daughters,adopted children grandchildren and son- in-laws we have to get a room that holds 22.
Tomorrow we will be going to a funeral of young man who lived across the street. He died when he wrecked his street bike racing on the expressway.
He was going 130 and took out 150 feet of chain link fence.
He left four young children. He was 28 years old the same age as our oldest daughter , they grew up together.
The one with the most toys does not always win.
 
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It sounds like your neighbor didn't live long enough to become a man. Men don't kill themselves playing stupid childish games when they have 4 children to support. Thank god he didn't kill anyone else in the process. To bad, maybe if he had survived the accident, that would have been the day he became a man.
 
akivory said:
When did you become a man?
Click to expand...

For me, I think it was when I left for the Navy, five days after graduating high school. Everything up to that point was kind of, " . . . uh, okay, what ever, I'll just figure things out as they come...". The reality that I wouldn't be back home again for at least two years or more really hit me, on the bus that night. My dad knew what was in store for me, and tried to talk to me about it, but you know how kids are. It wasn't until I was in the middle of that bus ride that I realized I was on my own. It was the first time in my life when I really PRAYED.

thx - cpr
 
Interesting question. I had to sell my 84 Jeep CJ7 project vehicle because I had no money to buy diapers for my twin boys who pooped quite often! That is when I had to realize that it was not about myself. I have never looked back, nor regret selling the vehicle for the reason that I did. I will have a project 4x4 again before I die. God willing and the creek don't rise of course.
 
Not gonna happen. I may be getting older, but I refuse to grow up. My voice hasn't even changed yet. Of course, having been a baritone since I was three may have something to do with that last part.


Seriously, I've been on my own since I enlisted in the Navy out of high school. I've learned responsibility the hard way. I bought my home and paid it off three years early. I've worked my way out of credit card debt, and lived debt free for years. I may drive old cars, use an old computer and not use a television, but my bills get paid on time. Only if there is something left after that do I get to be irresponsible.
 
I became a man when I ran for help, got an ambulance on the way, and tenderly carried my father who weighed over 250 lbs when I weighed 135 out of the car he was driving us in as he stroked out, and died a few hours later....was almost 18 at the time, he was 53.

I became a responsible man when I joined the Navy, and learned to live(mostly) within my means.

I became a decent and considerate man when I moved in with my fiancee in 1996, we have been together since then...she don't always like me, but I'm pretty sure she still loves me.:)

Best Regards,

STeven Garsson
 
What does it mean to become a man? Do you mean maturity? I know how to take care of myself and my loved ones. If my girlfriendis hurt, scared or unhappy, I know how to comfort her. I would call that maturity.

I don't buy all the macho crap though. I don't believe that being in the military makes you any more of a man than someone who wasn't. I don't believe that driving a big pickup truck makes you a man. I know how to handle a gun and sharpen a knife, but that doesn't mean anything in the long run.

Like I said, I know how to take care of myself and the people that I love. As far as I'm concerned that must mean I'm doing something right.
 
I "became a man" the moment I saw my old man hit my mother and realized that if he ever did it again I'd kill him.

And not figuratively.

I "became a man" again, when they were divorced and I became responsible for keeping up his end of the deal.

I "became a man" once more, when I held my newborn son in my arms. I realized that this little person was depending on me to teach him, take care of him and keep him out of harm's way.

I "became a man" the last time when I learned how to forgive.

There has been no one defining event in my life that flashed up a big neon sign that said to everybody on the street: "Move over, here comes a man."
There has, instead, been a series of reminders that raise the internal flag every now and again: "Hey, you're a man now. Act like one." The funny part is, it always sounds like my grandfather's voice.

And that's no sh!t, Jack.
 
I became a man when my first child was born. Having already done the military and what not, it was nothing compared to that moment.
 
As kKEmSAT-Survival posted above, it was a number of steps that brought me to where I am now. Several defining steps.

But, the one thing that made me realize that I'm "THE" man in my house was when I was severely tempted by another woman, and I had to think about what would happen if I decided to do what "I" wanted. That's when I realized that my family is 1st (wife 1st, kids 2nd), above anything that I may or may not want. That's when I became a man in my own eyes.

Daniel
 
It's hard to say just when I actually became a man, but odds are it was when I was a young lad of twenty - halfway around the world and staring down the barrel of an assault rifle pointed directly at my face. Then there was that dark alley in the Phillippines....but I digress.
 
I thought I became a MAN when I joined the Armed Forces.. Nope. I got out and still acted the fool..

I thought I became a MAN when I purchased my first Business.. Nope. The business failed and the money dried up..

I thought I became a Man when I started my own Business from scratch.. Nope. Although this Business was a smashing sucess and made half million net its first year and continued on that track until I sold out 4 years later..

I thought I became a MAN after purchasing my first peice of property with a home.. Nope. Turned out it was just another purchase when it was all said and done..

I thought I became a MAN when I got married.. Nope.

I thought I became a MAN when I quit some really bad habbits succesfully.. Nope.

I thought I became a MAN when I had my kids.. Nope.

I DID become a MAN when I found my true calling and embarked on my mission quest for the balance of my life and was NO LONGER afraid to DIE! When one overcomes his fear of death here on this earth, one is FREE to live and becomes a MAN.. Yup!
 
Seems that there are as many definitions of the term as there are people to give them...

Mind, with my thoroughgoing skeptic/scientific mindset, I always like a clear definition of terms before engaging in an answer.

Are we talking about maturity? Responsibility? Technically, I suppose it occurs at puberty....
 
I think I felt it happening in Iraq, but it really hit home when I came back to the mom and homies on a month leave after my tour. I'm getting married today and if I feel any different, I'll post tomorrow. I'll be paying a mortgage, going to school, making knives... all in the next year. Once I get that knifemaker membership, I'll feel a little more like a man ;)
 
Congrats on your marriage Charlie Mike:eek::foot::D and even more THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE TO OUR COUNTRY!:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:
 
October 21, 1983. That's right...the day I was born. That is the best piece of wisdom I ever received. At least, one of the best. Men are born as men, and live their lives as men...usually. It is what we do between the cradle and the grave that makes us honorable,or trustworthy,or faithful, or compassionate,or strong,or wise,or independent, or understanding, or just plain good men.
 
Having children doesn't necessarily make a man a man, but it is one live's gifts to help him appreciate the transition from self absorbed hedonist to a man.

No man defining moment for me, just grew into it with baby steps.

On the news the other day, I saw a guy who fathered nearly 30 kids with 11 women. He is certainly not a man.
 
There is "being a male"
There is "being a man"

The two terms are not interchangeable.
 
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