A few tips that might help:
If you do it the right way, a few minutes should be enough.
You're not supposed to apply too much pressure on the top: quite anyone can do the job. It's a lot more about how you do the bow drill. If you need too much strength, it might mean you're not doing it the right way.
About lubrification of the top of spindle. Smashed green leaves, or any green plant, or green moss in the top hole work just fine.
Question is a lot about speed. You should start not too fast, and end with sustained quick long strokes. Don't forget to keep a regular breath.
The notch should be large enough, but not too large.
If you're spindle and you're hole have turned burned-black, it may be useful to scrap that black cover from both hole and spindle, to have some clear wood appearing. This should incrase friction.
Wood should be dead and dry. Dead standing wood is better.