Broken Washers

Rusty McDonald

Rusty McDonald

Joined
Mar 28, 2007
Messages
1,171
I was at the hardware the other day to get 1/4" bolts, washers and lock washers. While there I start talking to the salesman who was helping me, and come to find out my wife worked there when she was in college, that's been a while since she was there but he remembered her because the first day she was there a man came in looking for lock washers. So they go to look for them and find the bin that they are in. She finds the washers and begins to trow out the lock washers, the man asks "why are you doing that" she said "they are broken and you dont want borken washers do you?" I fall out laughing my ass off. I asked her about it and she said it was true with a red face of course.
 
I was sure there were going to be pictures of stereotypical redneck yard and something about it being my house..... but this was much better.
 
LOL. Now thats funny. Reminds me of a woman they gave me for a helper on a job. We were pulling plugs from the ends of tubes on a fin fan (giant radiator) and one leaked out some wet calcium, as a white paste. I said OH OH, this is radioactive, and turned to her and asked her if she had had her radiation vaccination? She had not of course and was all worried as I sent her off to safety to get it taken care of. She came back a bit miffed :rolleyes: and the safety guy was upset too. :eek: Chezz no humor at all!:D
 
ib2v4u said:
LOL. Now thats funny. Reminds me of a woman they gave me for a helper on a job. We were pulling plugs from the ends of tubes on a fin fan (giant radiator) and one leaked out some wet calcium, as a white paste. I said OH OH, this is radioactive, and turned to her and asked her if she had had her radiation vaccination? She had not of course and was all worried as I sent her off to safety to get it taken care of. She came back a bit miffed :rolleyes: and the safety guy was upset too. :eek: Chezz no humor at all!:D
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We used to so stuff like that all the time when I was in the Corps.

Sent a guy to the armory to get a Ba 1100 November with a ST ring attachment. Called the armor was in on it all the way and he sent the guy to suppuly and they sent him to the PX. We were calling ahead of him the whole way. And of course if you know what a BA 1100 November with a ST ring attachment is (balloon with a string). You'd laugh too. Kid was gone all day lookin for that damn balloon. Finialy someone at the PX figured it out and gave him one.
 
Probably meanest joke I ever pulled was in Desert Storm... I was hanging out in the ammo dump and they were loading out sabot rounds for M1s to resupply Doha after the guys up there blew up their own ammo dump. I was talking to the newbie truckers and explaining how the radioactivity made the powder unstable and it would blow up and that the 11th ACR blew up their dump when someone bumped a pallet. They ground guided those trucks kicking rocks and stuff for 4 miles across the desert until their 1SG showed up looking for them. :D

Or the time me and a buddy put a 8" gun round in front of the CO's tent.... or we rounded up 50 stray dogs and threw them into everyone's tents at battalion...

I spent a lot of time burning s#$t
 
Probably my never fail funny that always cracked me up was to put tape over the vents on our track crews gas mask carriers (the filter and air intake and exhaust is in the carrier) when we had NBC training. Watching them flounder around was always good for a laugh for me. You'd just watch the sides of their masks sucking in as they tried to breathe in MOPP 4. :D
 
Or givin the kids at the gate in Somolia our tobasco from our MRE's and tellin them its candy and watchin them try to clean it off their toung with dirt.
 
Rusty, ever make a "mre heater bomb" using the mre heaters and a bottle of water? We used to do that to the Gypsies in Bosnia because they'd dumpster dive into our garbage and strew stuff everywhere and we'd have to police it up. :mad: We used CS powder a few times in the dumpster but got in a LOT (I mean LOT) of trouble for that because they stumbled out into the concertina wire. So we took to bombing them with MRE heater bombs.

Before y'all get all on fire about this, it's just a loud noise. We would give these people everything we could spare but it wasn't enough and they knew we got in trouble about the garbage. :mad:

Farmer Phil said:
Man, remind me never to turn my back to you guys. Holy sh_t you're a mean ass bunch.
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These aren't mean tricks.... they're shenanigans. You're wearing body armor, loaded automatic weapon and a bad attitude. You really don't want to see mean.
 
Yeah but we would throw them in the head and listen to the screams when it went off in there. Im sure it was a 6 hole head with the Plywood and screen to keep the flies in that the seabees built, you know the ones Im talkin about.

Will Leavitt said:
Rusty, ever make a "mre heater bomb" using the mre heaters and a bottle of water? We used to do that to the Gypsies in Bosnia because they'd dumpster dive into our garbage and strew stuff everywhere and we'd have to police it up. :mad: We used CS powder a few times in the dumpster but got in a LOT (I mean LOT) of trouble for that because they stumbled out into the concertina wire. So we took to bombing them with MRE heater bombs.


These aren't mean tricks.... they're shenanigans. You're wearing body armor, loaded automatic weapon and a bad attitude. You really don't want to see mean.
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I was working on a rich kid's motorcycle once, he was kind of an A-hole. I figure he deserves whatever he gets after punching the mother of his child in the nose and breaking it, . . . anyway, I was fixing his Kawasucki motorcycle and asked him to pass me the crescent wrench, he asked if it was metric or standard, I told him metric since I was working on a japanese bike, and since I was working on the left side of the bike I needed the left handed one. He picked up my Sears brand adjustable wrench and moved it out of the way 4 or 5 times in the process of not finding the left handed metric crescent wrench in my toolbox. I told him that I couldn't continue the work on his bike without it and sent him to the parts store to buy me one (he was paying me by the hour, and his roomate and I were drinking his beer) I called ahead to the parts store where my guitarist worked and filled him in. Brad came back 6 hours later from the other side of the next county over with a Crescent brand adjustable wrench with "200mm" stamped in the handle:D

by then he was outa beer too:D :D

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