Christmas Mule story that wouldn't post

[Bookie]

The Christmas Mule

It were Christmas eve down in Missouri (pronounced Missoura) an' way back then, Bawanna was a little kid. Th’ snow was comin’ right on down an’ they was no way th’ family was goin’ to walk down to the Rancid Crik Southern Baptist church ‘bout two miles down th’ road fer th’ evening services. Bawanna heard ‘is Dad tell ‘is Ma that ol’ Caleb North wouldn’t be able to slip by an’ make Santy Claus’ appearance for Bawanna’s eight younger brothers an' sisters tonight. Now Bawanna was half growed an’ he knew which way th’ stick floated an’ had already figgered out that Santa was one of them fairy tales that makes you feel warm an’ fuzzy. Caleb not comin’ got to botherin’ him a powerful lot an’ he got to thinkin’.

Musta been about eight o’clock when he went to bed. He laid there and tossed an' turned. It bothered’im that his Ma was frettin’ about how disappointed them kids’ud be when Santa didn’t come. Bawanna rolled over an’ was starin’ out th’ winder. Low an’ behold, there was Molly and Zeke, ‘is Dad’s two mules, lookin’ out th’ barn back at’im. Needless to say, with Bawanna bein’ th’ bright boy ‘e is, th’ light bulb come on.

He got dressed real quiet like an’ slipped down th’ stairs even quieter. ‘Is Ma an’ Pa were headin’ off to bed. Got’is coat an’ muffler on and barryed Dad’s snow boots an’ grabbed th’ sack thet had th’ kid’s presents in it, an’ slipped out th’ back door.

He waded through knee deep snow to git to th’ barn. Them mules was actually glad to see’im come out. Bawanna got Molly all harnessed up an’ hopped up on’er back an’ headed fer th’ door. Long about this time, Bawanna found out that Molly could say foul things, in mule speak, of course, an’ she let’im know in no uncertain terms that she wasn’t no way gonna go out in that storm. Bawanna, the diplomat he is, grabbed one of ‘er ears an’ chomped down hard to git’er attention. He did an’ poor ‘ol Molly took off like a shot. She was movin’ so fast that she didn’t even stop fer th’ gate. Luckily, it was part open from when Bawanna slipped outside. Bawanna was a bouncin’ something terrible an’ a hollerin’ like they was no tomorry. Molly was headin’ fer th’ house as it was makin’ a pretty good wind break.

Lights come on in ‘is Ma an' Dad’s bedroom an' heads appeared at th’ winder. Bawanna was still a yellin’ an' bouncin’ around ‘cause Molly would sun-fish ‘bout ever third step. Lucky fer’im, Molly come to a stop at the back porch. Guess it were a good thing Bawanna had ‘is Santy Clause hat on ‘cause ‘is kid brothers an' sisters had woke up at th' noise an’ was a-lookin’ out th’ winder in their room, too. Their little eyes got as big as saucers an’ they was a-squealin’ “Looky! There’s Santa!”

Bawanna, he hopped down off Molly an’ stuck ‘is head down sos’ they couldn’t see who he really was. Hollered HO-HO-HO! a couple of times, an’ walked in th’ back door, made a loud fuss a-shakin’ that toy sack, an’ sayin’ in his best deep voice “I wunner where them cookies an’ milk’er at?” He could hear them kids scurry off to bed ‘cause they knowed Santa wouldn’t leave no presents if they wasn’t asleep. The presents got put under th’ little tree they had an’ he was headin’ fer the door when in stepped Molly. Bawanna had left th’ door open an’ Molly felt th’ warmth comin’ out onto th’ porch. Molly weren’t dumb. No Sir!

Bawanna had to do some fast thinkin’. So’e took off ‘is coat an’ grabbed up them cookies an’ started feedin’em to Molly. Real slow like. Molly liked them cookies an’ pretty soon she was nuzzlin’im fer another one. Now Molly was not exactly a light weight. When she shuffled’er feet, th’ floor shook….all th’ way to Dad’s bed room. “'Is Dad hollered “What in tarnation’s goin’ on down there?” real loud like. Bawanna was havin’ a hard time tryin’ to git’is coat back on with Molly pushin’im pretty hard wantin’ anuther cookie. ‘E grabbed ‘er halter an’ headed out the door an’ she come willin’ ‘cause a cookie was bein’ held up in front of her nose. Somehow he managed to git her back into th’ barn an’ slip back into th’ house with no problem an’ went right to sleep. His good deed was done.

Bawanna woke up hearin’ his brothers an’ sisters a-squealin’ an’ a-carryin’ on. Laughter flooded the downstairs. He got dressed an’ went to th’ kitchen fer breakfast. Two of his little sisters come a-runnin’ hollerin’ “Bawanna. Santa Clause was here last night! We all saw him! They’s raindeer tracks outside, too! Come look!” They drug’im to th’ door an’ they peeked outside. Sure enough they was tracks in th’ snow where them raindeers had been. His Ma then told’im to come git his eggs, so he sat down to th’ table. His Dad looked up and said: “Yes, indeedy, Son. That ol’ Santy Clause did come last night. He eat the girl’s cookies they set out, too”. His Ma set his plate down an’ she said, “Yes, he was surely here. I even had to clean up raindeer droppins’ of the floor!”
You ever see Bawanna choke on scrambled eggs?...and a Merry Christmas to you, too!