Chuck Norris jokes!!

A

antixbush

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I love a good Chuck Norris joke:D Lets see what ya got!!

Chuck Norris doesnt sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.

Chuck Norris uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops.

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
 
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.

The Universe is not spreading out, everything is trying to escape Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris' pulse is measured on the richter scale.

He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.

Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean.

Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.

Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.

:D Oh boy I love the Chuck Norris facts!
 
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris invented black. Actually, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light (except for pink - Tom Cruise invented pink.)
 
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
 
Chuck Norris can Speak Brail!
Chuck Norris lost his virginity BEFORE his Father did!
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
 
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Chuck Norris once ordered a Big Mac at Burger King...and got one.

Chuck Norris sleeps with lights on. That's not cause he's afraid of the dark, the dark is afraid of him!

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Two times!
 
Chuck Norris' favorite Chuck Norris fact:

They wanted to put Chuck Norris' face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite was too soft to do his beard.
 
pcnorton said:
Do a Google search "find Chuck Norris" then press "I'M Feeling Lucky".....
Paul
Click to expand...

So I did and this is what Google sent back. If you don't believe it, try it for yourself.

Quoted from Google "I'm feeling lucky" search for "find Chuck Norris"

"Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you. "


 
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
 
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