Clean jokes!

[Chris Pierce]

I'll start.

Once upon a time, there was a cowboy being interviewed by a TV reporter. The interview went something like this.

Reporter: I see by the way that your dressed that your a working cowboy. Why do you wear that big hat?

Cowboy: I wear it to protect from the sun.

Reporter: Why do you wear those heavy leather chaps?

Cowboy: To protect me from cactus and thorney brambles.

Reporter: What's the purpose of that hanker chief?

Cowboy: To keep the sun and wind off my neck.

Reporter: And why do you wear those tennis shoes?

Cowboy: So nobody mistakes me for one of those dirty truck drivers!

 

[JoePhysician]

I have to go to the dentist. I'm going to see if I can go at tooth hurty.

 

[Daniel Dorn]

Darth Vader: "Luke Skywalker (heavy breathing) I know what you're getting for Christmas (more heavy breathing)

Luke: "How?"

Darth Vader: "I felt your presents"






A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross eyed. Is there anything you can do for him?"

"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.

Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."

"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"

"No, because he's really heavy"

 

[bt93]

So a ventriloquist was travelling and needed a place to stay for the night. He came upon a farm house so he knocked on the door. The farmer answered and the ventriloquist explained that he had no place to stay so the farmer agreed to set him up for the night.
The next morning after breakfast the farmer offered to show the ventriloquist around the farm. They came up to the horse and the ventriloquist decided he'd entertain the farmer by throwing his voice and make the horse talk.
"How's it going?"asked the ventriloquist.
"I'm doing well." said the horse
"Is the farmer treating you well?"
"Sure," said the horse," he feeds me well and doesn't push me to hard on the plow."
From there they went on to check the cattle and came upon a cow.
"How's it going?" asked the ventriloquist.
"I'm doing well, and you?" replied the cow.
"I'm fine, thanks. How's farmer treating you?"
"He treats me well", replied the cow,"He's up bright and early everyday to milk me and always makes sure I've plenty to eat."
From there they went to the sheep pen.
"How's it going?" asked the ventriloquist when the farmer excitedly interjected,"Don't believe a thing she says!"

 

[sideways]

 

[Phydeaux]

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.



"Mama, look what I found," the boy called out.

"What have you got there, dear?"



With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."