Compassion & Choices What Do You Think?

[R.Carpenter]

I am just wondering what the general view of dying with dignity is here on the forums. Myself if I was asked this question five years ago I probably would have shied away from giving a answer thinking how could someone even think about ending your own life. Well after the 29 year old lady from Portland Oregon that took her own life last week because of her Cancer and a very good friend of mine died 3 years ago from brain cancer which was a really horrible thing to watch and go through with his family my own ideas because of my situation have taken a 360 degree turn. I am not a member or have I supported the Compassion & Choices movement in the past but I am seriously thinking different now after going through what I have over the last 4 years. Just wondering if anyone else has really had any experience to possibly change your mind.
I was diagnosed with Lung cancer and Esophageal cancer in June of 2011. I have totally beat the Lung cancer and I was clear of the Esophageal cancer after two rounds of radiation and two rounds of Chemo and also 16 hours of surgery up until a month ago. The Esophageal cancer has returned causing a bunch of pain along with weight loss (over 40 lbs.) because of the new Chemo and radiation I have been going through and the bad news was I was given less than a year of life left. So anyway I have been trying to keep a positive attitude but have sure been looking at the Compassion & Choices website. Building knives and doing my scrimshaw and fishing for Tuna off shore has been my life ambition after retiring early (DEA). Now I have no energy NONE to do the things I have loved to do. I have one scrimshaw project I am trying to finish but having a hell of a time.Anyway I don"t want this post to be a feel sorry for me I am just really curious what people think of this Compassion & Choice movement that I think we are all going to be hearing about more and more. Thanks for reading this morbid post and God bless you all

 

[Karda]

Sorry to hear this.....
This is something that has been on my mind off and on since my experience of watching my father pass on from terminal lung cancer.
By the time us kids found out about the situation, he was given approximately 2 weeks to live and had gone thru several radiation therapies to keep it from overrunning his brain, as it had spread thru his system by then.
The last time I saw him before then, he was looking healthy and energetic as a 70 yr old gets. When I drove to florida to take care of him until the end, he had wasted away from 180lbs to just above 100lbs and near the end was almost helpless. Despite knowing his fate and all he was going thru himself. I watched a man make peace with the world, himself and the situation and pass on with the determination of dignity. Thank goodness for hospice care in helping with that goal.

I'm a firm believer in ones right to determine their own fate and I support the Compassion and Choice movement, especially in cases of terminal diagnosis. Noone should be forced to endure an undignified and often painful end. They should be allowed to choose to spare themselves and any loved ones the pain of going thru some of the things that I saw and had no choice but to endure, or that my father had to endure. Things that still, more often than I'd like, haunt me today almost 15 years later.

My prayers to you for compassion, for dignity and mercy.... and to those that you will leave behind. God Bless.

 

[Chris Larrikin]

"Dignity" means different things to different people. For some it means fighting until that last breath. For others it means gathering their loved ones around them and saying goodbye on their own terms. Having watched people go through the first of those I could never begrudge them had they chosen the second option. I personally don't equate it to suicide, because everyone who I have ever heard of choosing to end their life under these circumstances has wanted nothing as much as to live a full and healthy life. They fought as hard as they could for as long as they could, and as far as I'm concerned they earned their rest.

Whatever decision you make, do what you need to be at peace with it.

My prayers as well. For you, for your loved ones and for anyone in similar circumstances.

 

[sideways]

People must be allowed to choose for themselves. I believe it is a fundamental right of the individual to opt out of a life they deem not worth living.

My belief in self determination comes from personal loss and doesn't just apply to terminal illness. I wish those I knew who committed suicide had not. Theirs were choices motivated not by terminal illness but by circumstances that would likely have changed given time. I do not think they held up their moral obligations or that they made the right choice. That said, I will not begrudge them their choice. I wish they hadn't. I really do. The losses have been devastating for those left behind but I must respect their right to choose, even if I do not respect the choice. If that makes any sense.

A word on commitments in general. There are some commitments I believe create a moral obligation for people to stick around and to do their best. We are born with no obligations, as we did not opt in to this life, but as we grow up that changes. Everyone by the time they are old enough to decide to opt out is breaking some commitment. A good friends father opted out when he was a young boy. He opted out of a willing long term commitment to a dependent, this is nothing short of a betrayal in my book. Again this objection stems from a sense of morality instead of rights. A person has the right to opt out any time they choose to.

Back to the topic at hand and terminal illness.

Technologically we have the ability to prolong life beyond anything earlier generations had. This can be a mixed blessing. Those who choose to fight to the end can prolong their lives by days, weeks, months, years, even decades with modern medicine. All fine and good. This should be the first avenue of approaching any kind of disease. It would be downright cowardly in my mind not to explore all options first or to make a hasty decision to abandon the commitments we've made in life.

If however the medical approach is unappealing the patient should be allowed a dignified end. They will have to weigh the value of the life lived against the value of the life not lived. Opting out is the most personal choice of all. If a patient needs assistance with the execution of their choice so be it. Any kind of arrangement where a person is kept alive against their will is cruel and unusual punishment in my book. Others will rarely see it that way though. Least of all the people closely involved.

They will hang on any way they can. With a terminal patient some doctors will think they know better, or have some moral objection. Friends and family might refuse to let go out of fear or a desire to keep the person around. Doctors will most likely fear the legal ramifications of not prolonging life for as long as possible. This is where the opportunity comes in for others wanting to influence a decision. With unfavorable laws and we end up with situations where we are prolonging life for the benefit of those around the patient instead of for the patient. Worse there have been cases where a patient is kept alive against their wishes for the benefit of others. This is a horrible outcome. A torturous existence lacking freedom.

If you truly believe that there is nothing worthwhile left to do, that you have exhausted all ways forward, and the best approach is to opt out... Who am I to argue.

The alternative when everything feels hopeless is to see how you feel about it tomorrow. It's surprising how something worth doing or worth experiencing can come up out of the blue. You never know when these moments will come and that is why barring horrible pain with zero prospects I'd personally wait it out. That would be MY choice. Death is so very final and we can not know what tomorrow will bring. Life is amazing that way.

As a side note it is worth mentioning that doctors estimates are not always accurate. I know a case where the doctors estimate was off by a decade. I'm sorry to hear about your troubles and hope you find a way to pull through. Positive thoughts sent your way.

 

[willseeyalater]

My thoughts on it are that people who are in unmanageable pain from terminal cancer and are in the latter stages of their battle have a right to be kept free from pain. At some point that amounts to a lot of morphine and I am not one to say how much is to much in that case. I wouldn't judge them or their loved ones for giving them what they need to relieve their pain, at some point we are all going to have our last breath. I just hope when that day comes for me the people I love will be by me and there wouldn't be any unspoken words left to say. It's not morbid to talk openly about stuff like this, everyone has to deal with it even if it is not "happy" or light conversation.

 

[RemyKaze]

First; keep up hope and good spirits! I'm sorry to hear that it has come back. Second; cannabis oil(not smoking) could work wonders for fighting it. It basically tells cancer cells to kill themselves. Look into it.

As for your question...I think it depends on whether a person is tired of fighting, has unfinished business, or goals that they want to see accomplished. To me, it sounds like you do. Only the person involved can decide for themselves. Right now, if I had cancer, I am not sure I would care to fight it. If I had children, a wife, and/or goals to see to, then damn straight I'd fight it. My mom is going through a second bout with a different type of cancer this go round. I imagine having it come back can be disheartening. However, if you beat it once, you can beat it again. Pride and strength of will can see you through. If you are convinced that you are not going to come through, make yourself a bucket list and take to it with gusto. Life is short for many people, and even if you have no energy, you should go out strong and with a bang.