Cool things about being a man

Joined
Jan 6, 2005
Messages
1,331
Your ass is never a factor in a job interview

Your last name stays put

The garage is all yours

Wedding plans take care of themselves

You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid

Car mechanics tell you the truth

You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut

Hot wax never comes near your pubic area

Same work ... more pay

Wrinkles add character

You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments

If you retain water, it's in a canteen

Your pals can be trusted never to ask you, "So, notice anything different?"

One mood, ALL the damn time

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase

You can open all your own jars

You can go to a public toilet without a support group

Your underwear is $10 for a three pack

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades

Your belly usually hides your big hips

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife

Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes

The world is your urinal
 
In case you all haven't noticed, motherhood is a debilitating psychological condition, probably the most common of all the STDs. It is incurable and usually terminal. It takes otherwise rational young women and turns them into raging control monsters. There is only one way to contract this disease, thus the STD classification and almost half the world's population is affected.
 
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