Coons

M

munk

Joined
Mar 22, 2002
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"Them Coons are destructive animals," John told me, "I don't feel bad at all about shooting them."

How long ago was it I shot Joey the Coon? Four months? He or she was feeding out of my trash cans, knocking them over nightly, spreading the torn paper and soiled diapers all across my property. One night I caught him with my Ruger 10/22 and let him have it. It was not my finest moment. If you're going to shoot a Racoon with a .22, you need to pick your shot. I didn't have that luxury- he was going for the wall. I let out a fusilade I'm sure convinced the neighbors Ole Munk finally went psycho. 12 Midnight and the sound of shots echoing off the cliff wall. Joey was dead.

Later that night his mate came by, ignored him completely, and started chomping down on the trash. Joey's body rested nearby.

I thought that was weird. No tears for Joe the Coon? "Bummer Joe; but more for me."
"I'll tell the kids you'll miss them?"

Now the mate has been into the trash too often. I've had it. I never knew a Coon that didn't understand a broomstick across the jaw or a slug from a .41 mag. I'm sorry folks, I try to be nice, I like wildlife, that's why I live in Montana. But Joey must die.

Yesterday it was broken glass, today gunk all over the lawn.

Thurs I'm buying new trash cans- I'll be looking into Coon resistant construction.


munk
 
I have the same problem with coons. There're a couple that have been ravaging my garbage cans nightly. Cleaning up each morning is getting tiring. They've done the same to the neighbor's property in which they live. They're hiding in some trees there and the neighbor has been unsuccessful getting rid of them.
 
I understand where you are coming from, Munk.
I like raccoons. Neat critters with personality and enough problem solving skills to get whatever they want. As a kid we raised a couple of orphaned raccoons. They were never treated as pets, and when they were old enough they left on their own accord into the woods. My mother and my aunt both feed the coons that come around their doors. My aunt especially. There is always plenty of leftovers to eat, and the trash stays in the garage until trash day. They enjoy seeing the generations that grow up begging for handouts. Is it right? Is it bleeding heart? I dunno. I DO know that raccoons, like most guests, will overstep the handout when it is offered. Both my mother and my aunt have to have heavy duty doggie doors on their back doors as the raccoons will come in and destroy everything if given the chance. it's happened a couple of times.
I understand that they have to be dealt with. Sometimes they won't learn and have to be shot. I know raccoons will never be popular in my neighborhood. I hope they learn to stay out. I live in a tightly packed subdivision that sits out near farmland. I would hope that a raccoon that is offed would be shot. Better to shoot them a messy death with a few rounds out of a .22, than to have John Suburbia take his kid's t-ball bat to the animal. I'm sure Joe understands why you did what you did. He's probably up in raccoon heaven tipping over trash cans filled with apple cores covered in peanut butter and old pieces of fish. He's always chased, but never caught. I think Raccoons like it that way.
Good luck on coon proofing your home.

Jake
 
I used live traps to catch a neighbor's possums.

Then I used a WWII to behead one prior to prepping him for the table.

Coons might pose a bigger challenge.

However, if you live trap you have the luxury of keeping them around for a few days and feeding them fruit prior to eating them.

Fe fi fo fum ...
 
Man, around here Coons are the No. 1 rabies vector. Any coon that allows him/herself to be seen in daylight is destined to be shot ASAP.

Our trash is kept in the locked shed, so no problems with night visitation, but we know they're around. I collect rain water, and they leave paw prints in the containers.

'Course, I had to get the high-security bird feeder -- that only the red squirrels can get in.
 
I think I already told the story before about the coons getting in my buddies truck at a festival and eating all of the pot brownies we were going to have with morning coffee. NAIL THEM! :mad:
 
Munk,

If you ever have nightmares about murdering baby Joey the coon, there is another way that you can ward him off without having to blast him into the big coon tree in the sky.

I am sure that there were other coons that night that saw you murder baby Joey coon with your .22 and they probably went back to their coon trees and are writing letters to their congressman right now saying that coons have rights too and that mean old Munk is a murderer.

The SPCA is going to be putting your picture on a flyer that reads $10.000 bounty for MUNK the murderer of baby Joey the poor little hungry coon. Mean ole MUNK --- here is his picture blasting away at poor little baby Joey the coon, who was just trying to survive when blasted into the big coon tree in the sky by a mean old man who likes to murder baby coons.
You feeling guilty yet?

Oh, by the way, next time when you are in the grocery store pick up a few bottles of AMMONIA and splash some of the AMMONIA on your garbage can and when hungry baby Joey the baby coon comes by looking for something to eat out of your garbage can, his little nose will wrinkle up at the scent of AMMONIA and he will go elsewhere for his evening meal and you will be able to sleep with a clear conscience. He, he, he.

Remember, God is watching you when you when you murder those little baby coons and all their little brothers and sisters and mamas and papa coons. I'll bet it is real hard for you to look their little family members straight in their eyes after murdering their little baby brother coon. he,he,he.
J. W. Kilpatrick
 
I was only three or so when the squirrel bit me. I was sitting in the back yard, and the little bastard came up and bit my big toe.

Ouch.

I couldn't have told my mother, because I would have been given rabies shots, and that didn't happen, but I have waged unrelenting war on them ever since.

I'm sorry; it's them, or me.



One day, 'verse willing, it'll be them.
And my children. :)

John
 
Coon is mighty fine eating. Make sure you remove the musk glands before you cook them.
 
Munk,
Your coon shooting incident reminds me of the time that I shot my boss's wife's pet deer.
My boss owned a construction company and had a 7,000 acre ranch down on the Texas/Mexico border and we would go down there in the fall and help him build a big ranch style house at hunting season and would also hunt at the same time.
There were seven of us including the boss on this particular trip and it was getting later in the afternoon as we were approaching the ranch. We all said "Richard (the boss) shouldn't we go ahead and stop in one of these small towns and pick up some groceries to make sure we have enough food in the trailer", where we were staying until the house was completed. Richard, who was in a hurry to get to the ranch said no, I'm sure we have enough grub to get us by for supper for tonight and if we are low on grub we can send someone into town and get more groceries tomorrow. So, we all said OK Richard you are the boss.
We get to the ranch which is 12 miles off the main road and discover that we are real low on groceries because some wetbacks had broken into the trailer and cleaned out most our groceries. Richard, said don't worry about it. Y'all go fill up the deer feeders so they will be ready to hunt in the morning and I will round up what groceries are left around here.
So, six of us got in the jeep and did just that and on the way back to the trailer from filling up the deer feeders and as the sun was beginning to start to go down we come across a real large covey of quail on the road just in front of our jeep. (Now we had 2 rules at the ranch -- 1. Don't shoot quail on the ground 2. Shoot only 8 point bucks or higher.)
Well, we all agreed that would be good eating since there was no meat in the trailer. So, we tried to honk the horn to flush the quail but they started to run off the road into the brush. Well, that did it . It was either blast them or don't eat meat for supper. All 6 of us raised our 12 guage shotguns and blew the whole covey away. 14 quail in the covey if I remember -- gave us 2 quail each to eat.
As we got back near the trailer, we spotted a young spike buck just standing there not more than a 50 yards from the trailer and the sun was just beginning to set. We looked at each other and said that tender back strap on that young spike would be real good eating. I had thrown my 30-30 rifle into the jeep before we went to the deer feeders. So, I raised it up took aim and shot him down.
So, after we pulled up to the trailer, we set about cleaning quail and taking the back strap off the deer. Well, Richard came out to check out all the activity. We didn't have a problem explaining the shooting the quail since we didn't have to say that we shot them on the road. However, Richard didn't like the fact that I had shot a spike deer. He preferred that he be allowed to grow up into a much larger trophy deer. But we all agreed that it would be good eating that night. Richard kept looking at the deer and finally bellowed that he was sure that this was his wife's pet deer that she had been feeding up near the trailer every evening when she and Richard were at the ranch.
He looked at me and asked me how he was going to tell Mary Ann that I had murdered her pet deer. We all said Richard you don't have to tell Mary Ann that J. W. murdered her pet deer. After all J. W. didn't know that it was her pet and we all like backstrap.
So we finally all set down to supper and Bill the best cook among us had made a bunch of biscuits and a giant bowl of red eye gravy and a gallon of coffee and fried quail and fried deer back strap. We gave thanks and dug in and were all smiling at each other when Richard said " I still don't sanction J. W. murdering Mary Ann's pet deer. I told Bill to pass the gravy and biscuits and some more back strap to Richard. Richard took it and piled it upon his plate and ate it all and I told Bill one more time pass Richard the back strap and buiscits and gravy so Richard didn't run out of food. Richard, looked at me and gave me a little smile and a wink and said it sure was good eating and that maybe we could blame the missing pet deer on the wetbacks that had broken in the trailer and had stolen most of our food. We all agreed that would be an acceptable explanation of probably what had really happened to Bambi the pet deer.
I worked for Richard 10 years and every fall we went hunting he would remind me that the rule of the ranch was that we would shoot only 8 point bucks or higher. I would look at Richard and smile and say I got it Richard. Richard would look at me and smile and say OK I just want to make sure we all understand the rules.
Richard, passed away 5 years ago and he was the very best man that I ever worked for. I still miss him, when the fall hunting season rolls around.
J. W. Kilpatrick
 
Out here in Monterey the coons are so bad from the idiot bambiists feeding them constantly, and no natural predators, that they have bred like crazy. There was a big to do about it because they crap in piles on the lawns, and a little baby got really sick a couple of years ago from eating the pellets that had some kind of parasite in them or something.

A friend of mine got tired of the coons raiding his trash, so one night when he saw one in the garbage, he slammed the lid down on it. Then he got the hose and pumped water under the lid while holding it down for 15 minutes, trying to drown the coon. After another half-hour of holding down the lid, he figured the coon was deceased and lifted the lid, whereupon the biggest, wettest most pissed off coon he had ever seen came charging out of the can and took off! Scared him to death.

So he called the SPCA and told him what had happened, and asked about getting a trap. They listened to his story, took his name, and then told him that he was in big trouble for trying to kill the racoon! He said it was totally surreal.

So, he did what he should have done in the first place, and just laid out for it and sniped it the next night with a .22, and then bagged it up and tossed it in the trash. They love dog food / cat food left out at night, and will tear up a dog to get at it, and yet the fools out here keep feeding them...

A friend in San Jose also had several thousand dollars worth of Koi fish eaten by them, and just sat by while they cleaned his pond out of expensive fish over a couple of week period. I would not let it get that far I don't think.

Norm
 
Is that a Coon Stevens song? >>> Norm

It is indeed. I used to like Coon Steven's music a lot, but he joined a dangerous offshoot of a normally main stream religion and now, like all Coons, thinks only of harming us, destroying property, and eating our trash.



munk
 
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