Dangerous kitchen.

J

jackknife

Joined
Oct 2, 2004
Messages
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I'm just glad the Christmas season is over and the last of the family has gone back home. I don't think my first aid supplies would have held out longer.

Why is it that when you tell someone to be carefull with a knife as it's very sharp, they don't believe you?

Christmas morning my son was cutting some green peppers to go in the omlets we were making. He was using my Forcshner chefs knife. He grew up in this house, HAS HE FORGOTTEN? He ended up with a very deep cut in the left thumb, there was four stiches.

The day after Christmas I went out and got a bunch of bagels for everyone. There goes brother in law Rodger with my Forcshner bread knife sawing away at a bagel, right through the bagel and into the palm of his left hand. Back down to the ER. One of the same nurses recogizes us, gets a funny look. Rodger gets seven stiches.

Okay, everyone is gone, Karen and I are going to have a nice QUIET dinner by ourselves. I'm pushing some onions and peppers around in the pan while Karen is trimming some green beans with a Forcshner paring knife. I hear a yelp, and I turn around and Karen is holding her hand over the sink not looking, and she says to me "How bad did I get it?"

She's got a good cut right across the pad of the left thumb. Damm good thing all these people are right handed! I look at her thumb, and I'm torn. Its deep, maybe in need of stiches, maybe not. KaaTee does not want to go to the ER. I use the last of my butterfly's and some guaze. Today it looked pretty good, shes going to be okay. It was a very clean cut.

BUT!

All these people either grew up in this home, have been maried to me forever, or have been guests here a million times. I have to wonder;

WTF is going through thier minds when they are using what they know is a sharp knife? ESSPECIALLY my own offspring and wife.

I am off to buy more butterflys and guaze.

I'm glad Christmas is over. :(
 
I think the real issue is that a lot of people don't spend much time cutting food except during the holidays. Mostly people grab prepared foods and throw them in a pan or oven. They are even used to having presliced bagels. If you give them food that actually needs preparation and put them in someone else's kitchen they are at risk.

When I take our church group down to the local soup kitchen I give them explicit knife using instructions. Even with instructions people cut themselves. It is most frequently younger people or married men who cut themselves. Inexperience and unfamiliarity are the biggest culprits. I always bring sharp knives so it is not an issue that they have bad tools. I've been bringing sharp knives for around 5 years. For the last couple years I have been in charge and so I get to lecture everyone before they start cutting. Nobody has gone to the hospital since I started doing that. Of course I did remove the longest chefs knives from our supply 3 years ago when that kid sent himself to the hospital with a Spyderco Chefs Knife.
 
jackknife said:
I am off to buy more butterflys and guaze.

:(
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Pick up some SuperGlue while you're at the drugstore. Works wonders on those "surgical" cuts sharp knives produce (assuming you clean out the wound and tetanus shots are up to date).

If Chevy Chase is reading your thread, I see yet another National Lampoon Christmas Vacation Sequel comin' up.
 
I heard an interesting story told by a doctor .He was visiting a doctor in a hospital in another city.They told the other doctor that there was someone admitted with a cut to the hand. The doctor promptly said 'weekend morning ? he was cutting a bagel !" That's exactly what happened ! Bagels used to be found in places like NYC where after years they have learned to cut bagels not hands. But bagels have become popular all over so the rest of the country will have to learn to cut just the bagel not the hand !!
 
Mete-

That makes some sense as far as my brother in law goes, plus he's a dufus who does not have a sharp knife in his house. let alone in his pocket. He's the idiot who if you tell him the plate is hot, he'l touch it to make sure.

But my son grew up with very sharp knives. And Karen has been with me as a wife for 34 years, but lived with me for a couple of years before that. And she's trimmed a zillion green beans. It's like everyone got ditzy over the Christmas weekend. I can only blame it on the egg nog. I may have been a little heavy handed with the Captain Morgans.
 
jackknife

My first thought:

You had to make this story up! I am thinking that tim and his Chevy Chase comment was the reason you created this story.

My second thought:

This actually did happened!

I mean people really do win the PowerBall. I (and you, too) don't actually know the people who win the Powerball, but we've read about them in the papers and tend to believe those stories. I think.

My question:

After the first person was cut and taken to the emergency room, was there any awareness at all that the next person who picked up a knife (in the very same house) should be just a tiny bit "scared to death" of this thing?

OK....no!

So my next question is after the second person was taken to the emergency room, was there any awareness that the very next person who picked up a knife (in the same house) should be just a tiny bit "scared to deah" of this thing?

Ok...no.

Now we are getting into tim's Chevy Chase land when we get to the third person.

But I do hear that people win the Powerball. Really.

I (and you) just have never actually seen these people.

Dan
 
ALAMEDA, now you know why I'm glad its over. During the holiday I had 14 people staying at my house. They started ariving Christmas day and did not leave till Wedsday morning. It was hectic, chaotic, and I'm real glad I put that third bathroom in a few years back.

Lots of people, lots of partying, noisy kids, someone gave the dog candy and she got sick, a kinky sex tape of me and the wife got mixed in with some tapes and ended up on the TV, a window in the guest bedroom got broken by one of the kids, and the heat pump started making ominous noises. This added to the trips to the ER.

Next year the wify and I are leaving town.

And we're not saying where we are going.:cool: (it'll be warm!)
 
ALAMEDA said:
jackknife

So my next question is after the second person was taken to the emergency room, was there any awareness that the very next person who picked up a knife (in the same house) should be just a tiny bit "scared to deah" of this thing?

Dan
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You've never met my in-laws!

Every hospital stay they have had in the last half a life time I've known them always starts with drinking, and someone saying "Hey, watch this!"

Between Rodger the dufus, and Eugene the wonder redneck, and Wayne the alky, you could do a TV show.:D
 
Alcohol and knives are never good bed-fellows, but the moral of the story is, they are your sharp knives and only you should use them. No-one uses my chefs knives but me.
 
Bagels are considered "dangerous food items", that's why they now made dedicated bagel cutters.

Have you ever noticed how uncomfortable most people look when they handle a knife?, even the pros on the cooking shows, with Emerill being the exception.

FYI, I use a clam/oyster knife for prying frozen things apart. It's dull and blunt but very short and stiff. Works very well and is quite safe and cheap.

Years ago, a lady friend was trying to cut a frozen Cornish hen in half with a sharp knife. She was pushing down hard on the back of the knife with the palm of her hand when the thing, and the knife, rolled over. Cut nerves, tendons, etc., with permanent damage to the hand.

Mikey
 
I use a cutting board for EVERYTHING in the kitchen, and cut down onto the item. Alternately, for a bagel, you can lay it flat, and cut through it sideways with your fingertips on top and out of the way. For peppers, onions, etc., use a chef's knife or Ginzu-style and never let the tip leave the cutting board as you lift the handle up. Makes for nice precise control.

Mikey
 
for peppers I hold em in my hand and use a 4" paring knife. haven't cut myself doing this yet.

for bagels, I just use whatever is in my pocket. weither that means cutting around it with a 2" or cutting through it towards my fingers depends on what I have that day. Again, haven't cut myself doing it yet.
 
Garage Boy , you live in Brooklyn and don't know how to cut a bagel ?? Hold the bagel in our hand cut half way through , then put the bagel on a board and complete the cut . OR cut part way and rotate the bagel until cut is complete.A sharp knife helps. For those who don't know a proper bagel has a chewy texture not a light delicate texture !! The italians [no it's not onl jewish] call it ciambelline.
 
I was expecting a Frank Zappa thread here.

The dangerous kitchen
If it ain't one thing it's another
In the middle of the night when you get home
The bread things are all dry 'n' scratchy
The meat things
Where the cats ate through the paper
The can things with the sharp little edges
That can cut your fingers when you're not looking
The soft little things on the floor that you step on
They can all be DANGEROUS
Sometimes the milk can hurt you
(If you put it on your cereal
Before you smell the plastic container)
And the stuff in the strainer
Has a mind of its own
So be very careful
In the dangerous kitchen
When the night time has fallen,
And the roaches are crawlin'
In the kitchen of danger
You can feel like a stranger
The bananas are black
They got flies in the back
And also the chicken
In the dish with the foil
Where the cream is all clabbered
And the salad is frightful
Your return in the evening
Can be less than delightful
You must walk very careful
You must not lean against it
It can get on your clothing
It can follow you in
As you walk to the bedroom
And you take all your clothes off
While you're sleeping
It crawls off
It gets in your bed
It could get on your face then
It could eat your complexion
You could die from the danger
Of the dangerous kitchen
Who the f*ck wants to clean it?
It's disgusting and dirty
The sponge on the drainer
Is stinky and squirty
If you squeeze it when you wipe up
What you get on your hands then
Could un-balance your glands and
Make you blind or whatever
In the dangerous kitchen
At my house tonight
 
jackknife said:
Lots of people, lots of partying, noisy kids, someone gave the dog candy and she got sick, a kinky sex tape of me and the wife got mixed in with some tapes and ended up on the TV, a window in the guest bedroom got broken by one of the kids, and the heat pump started making ominous noises. This added to the trips to the ER.
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jackknife's National Lampoon Christmas crossed with Scary Movie.

I think most people are used to knives being mildly sharp knives; not Spyderco sharp or knife knut sharp. I've noticed when you tell a person a knife is sharp, they ignore it. A minute after borrowing a knife, there is that loud yelp and blood flowing everywhere. Sometimes, when people ask to borrow one of my knives, I say: 'Be careful, it's sharp.' I just stand there and wait for the blood as when I say this, almost always the person ends up bleeding saying, 'Damn, that's sharp!'
 
I think maybe the problem with bagels is that folks just don't take the time to do it right. You cut into the middle and go around, 360 degrees, that way the center of the knife isn't sticking through the other end. And it helps if you use a small, thin and serrated knife. I use a small victorinox serrated paring knife that cost me $5. My guess is that most bagel accidents occur when try to slice through the whole thing at once. And yes, I'm Jewish. :D
 
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