Disturbing?

Kyui Su Kim · Feb 6, 2001

About a day ago me and some freinds went to a mall not far from where we live. This area is actually a pretty low crime area and no huge problems have happened recently. So this is the story: The day is over and me and my freinds are leaving out the back of the mall to get to my freinds van and head home. Up ahead of us are a group of kids(11-14) only a little shorter than me. Both groups of us are walking in opposite directions and as we pass one of them leans in trying to knock me down. I resist easily and he stumbles back as he suddenly draws a small hunting knife from his belt. My first thought was not to incite the fight anymore so I left my Balisong alone. We were a good few feet away from each other. The kid began to yell out slander saying "China boy dont make me cut you up" Thanks goodness the simple fact of him realizing he was outnumbered made him back off. This was scary though in the fact that this was a "little" kid and I could never bring myself to use my knife on him. Any input on this is welcome. Did I handle this right?

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Things may never get better, but they can always get worse.

[This message has been edited by Kyui Su Kim (edited 02-06-2001).]

Kid Couteau · Feb 6, 2001

you did fine
Like kwai chang cains master said
"Seeing we wish for peace and quiet most of all, we run away"

There is no dishonor in avoiding a fight like that, think of all the trouble there would have been if you hurt him and think how sad your parents would be if you got hurt.

Knife fighting is serious and nobody gets away uncut

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I like throwing knives, they're quiet.

BaliLover · Feb 6, 2001

Correct ways to handle the situation but did you report the incident? If you didn't then this dirtbag is free to continue doing this to others and maybe even worse. Always report the incident to cops. If the kid was walking into the mall, chances are he'll be there for a while and be leaving through the same entrance.

batangueno · Feb 6, 2001

We're so proud of you.

There should be more kids like you.

David2584 · Feb 6, 2001

You deserve a pat on your back.

You did the right thing. Sometimes its just better to walk off than to start a potentially dangerous situation.

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Self-defense is the right to protect yourself against violence or threatened violence with whatever means are reasonably necessary...A defense that inflicts more violence than is required is not legally or morally acceptable and makes you no better than the attacker.

Jeff Imada
</font>

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Dave

My collection

[This message has been edited by David2584 (edited 02-06-2001).]

JohnR7 · Feb 6, 2001

>>Did I handle this right?

A important thing to learn in life is the art of how to negotiate. The very first rule is that you never give someone a ultimatum. You always give them a choice that will have favorable outcome for both people involved. For example, you give him the choice that he can put the knife away, or you can kick it out of his hand. Then you tell him, he may get hurt when you kick it out of his hand, so the better choice would be to put the knife away.

Also, you have to remember, that he is trying to impress his friends with what a wonderful person he is. So it would be a good choice on your part, not to make him look bad in front of his friends. That will cause things to turn out better for you. The situation you really want to create is one that has a favorable end result for you, as well as to let him walk away with his self esteem intact. By allowing him to maintain a feeling of self worth, by making the proper choice, gives you a better chance of a favorable outcome.

The bottom line is, when you allow him to maintain his dignity, you benifit also. Your a better person, because you helped him to make the proper choice. Dennis Waitly, a motivational speaker, use to call it the double win. This does not have to be a win lose situation, both people and really everyone involved can walk away a winner. Because violence and destruction has been avoided, and the way of peace has been followed.

Also, it helps to be prayed up and right with God, because then you will have angels watching over you and as the Bible says, no weaponed formed against us can prosper. It is possible to be in a place with God, where one person can take on 1000 people. One example of this was Samson in the Bible. In other cases one can send 100 to flight, because God will put fear in their hearts.

The Bible is not just a fairy talk book. There are a lot of good things available to us in there, if we would just learn about it, and find out how to apply it to our lives. Even a lot of the organized religions have not learned how to tap into the vast power that is available to us. An atom bomb is nothing in comparison, because it can only destroy. But the resurrection power of God, can raise people from death, to life and liberty. When they choose to follow the way of peace and love. The world wants you to think that is the way of weakness, when in fact that is where the real power is. Thanks, JohnR7

fm2 · Feb 6, 2001

I have the same suggestion as BaliLover report it to the police and mall security.

You did well. He was looking for trouble
and/or to show his little friends how big, important he was. This would,(maybe) elevate him in his group by giving him stature. You didn't bend to his will and engage him. So by your actions he wasn't rewarded for his bad behavior. And more importantly you were not harmed by his unrulyness. In your encounter it was a child(him) to adult(you) exchange.

Gollnick · Feb 7, 2001

Perfectly handled. Be ready, balisong at hand if that's what you've got, but only if he forces the issue. One wonderful aspect of a balisong is the ability to keep it concealed so that its mear presence doesn't provoke the situation and yet keep it ready to go either as an impact weapon or as a knife if your aggressor insists on it.

As always, Mr. JohnR7's comments are quite good and I urge you to study them all carefully. Thanks John.

Oh, and Kyui Su Kim, we're all happy that your situation came out well.

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Chuck
Balisongs -- because it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing!
http://www.balisongcollector.com

Dragon1 · Feb 7, 2001

Nobody "wins" in a fight.

Younger kids nowadays scare me, and I'm not the oldest person around.

A couple of weeks ago, our church youth group was helping decorate this property where older people were coming for some celebration/dinner because we just bought a site to build our new church.

During the dinner, a youngster drew a face on the dry-erase board in the room we were hanging out in, and labeled it with another kid's name. The kid started choking him until his face was turning red, and an older kid had to make him stop.

It's a wonderful life.

Guillaume · Feb 7, 2001

Kyui Su (is "Kyui Su" your firstname ?),

You did wrong. You should have killed him.

No no... just kidding. Of course, it was the right solution. It's obvious to think/say that afterwards, it's not easy to have the right behavior when it happens.
John is right with the "win-win situation" explanation. I wouldn't link it to a Bible reference (as it's not my cup of tea), but rather to Asian morals. I guess you understand this naturally. From my short experience in Asia (in negotiation), I went to the same conclusion : the best is when everybody thinks he has won. No "dishonor".

By the way, when it is a REAL agressor, really dangerous and who wants to steal your money, I would recommend to give the money.
Knife-fighting is too dangerous (so many chances to be deadly wounded). In certain case, surviving is the only goal (and honor).

How old are you, Kyui Su ?

Guillaume

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www.balisong.net

anagarika · Feb 7, 2001

This is where we can find each other background:
who you are

anagarika · Feb 7, 2001

Hi Guilaume.

I thought my previous post didn't go through, so this was posted again .. sorry.

[This message has been edited by anagarika (edited 02-07-2001).]

medusaoblongata · Feb 7, 2001

It's usually not a good idea to knife a little kid, even if he is a little sh!t and was asking for it. It's probably best that you just walked away. The punk certainly deserved an ass-kicking, but it would have been unwise for you to administer it. The next time he tries that sh!t he might not be so lucky.

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Jason aka medusaoblongata
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"To give is a need, to receive is mercy." - Thus Spoke Zarathustra

Disco Stu · Feb 7, 2001

Good job. You handled it better than I would have. I must admit, I would have been likely to knock the kid on the ground as soon as I knew he was trying to jostle me. People like that make me angry.

bloodyknuckles · Feb 7, 2001

You did handle the situation quite well. The thing that would have pissed me off most of all was the asian slander. I bet that burned inside of you. I too am asian and rarely get any sort of harrasment for it, but when I do, I want to kill, or hurt, or do something insane. It's not a good feeling to hate and when others hate you for things you have no control over, it hurts.

So you handled the situation fine. And I don't think the situation, or many situations for that matter, call for pulling your knife. He was a kid and deserved a good slap and a lecture if anything. Go find him and break his bike or something...that would be much more fun. Or better yet, embarrass the little punk in front of his friends.

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if you're not now...you never were!

Kyui Su Kim · Feb 7, 2001

How old are you, Kyui Su ?

Guillaume

I'm 16 and also my name is actually Mike Craddock in the US. "Kyui Su" would be the first name in Korea(the country which I was born in)
Thanks for your guys input. It feels better to have others agree. I never did actually turn him in, he was more embarassed after he reallized his freinds were more scared of the knife than me and that we(My freinds and I) were not running in fear.

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Things may never get better, but they can always get worse.

[This message has been edited by Kyui Su Kim (edited 02-07-2001).]

TimmyTheTalkingToilet · Feb 7, 2001

That kid deserved the Brass Knuckle Dentistry, but I would like to shake your hand for not drawing because of the situation. But if the same thing happened under other circumstances, I wouldn't know what would happen.

Also keep in mind the intimidation factor of the balisong.

Bloody Knuckles: Good to see somebody in my area here.

Harvie · Feb 7, 2001

Kyui Su Kim,
I don't think that you handled good, I know you did. I've run into my own share of people like that. If you had done any more, you would have embarrassed him, which he diserved. Then his friends would have ragged him, getting him more angry at you. Then who knows what would happen? You did very well in my mind. Wish there were more 16 year olds like you out there.

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A man who knows not, and knows not that he knows not is a fool, avoid him. A man who knows not, and knows that he knows not is a wise man, teach him.

Agent-A · Feb 7, 2001

It good too know that you kept a cool head.

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Smoke the La, Flip the Bali.

anagarika · Feb 8, 2001

Kyui Su,

I happened to follow some of the thread on Tactics/Training .. you might want to follow through this .. interesting and balanced opinions.

Here it is:Situation

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Chris
"To use or not to use your Balisong - that is the question"

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Indonesian Balisonger

[This message has been edited by anagarika (edited 02-08-2001).]

Disturbing?

Musical Director