Do you realize what you've done??

[DesRosiers]

On December 29 we were standing in the snow watching our shop and a lifetime’s collection of tools and materials burn. Knowing our dogs were trapped inside as the propane tanks shot blow-torches into the night and ammunition and quenchant oil exploded was the most excruciating emotional pain I’ve ever gone through. Our excavator was barely moving in the cold weather and as I inched it away from the fire Adam ran back to save our four wheeler parked outside but nearby, it was already on fire and I was screaming at him to get away from the diesel storage tank which had begun to steam. We ran inside our house thinking it would probably go too. I grabbed our savings envelope from the drawer and Adam grabbed a gun I had bought him our first year together and a chopper Sam Lurquin had made for him that was hanging by the door. We prayed God would spare our cabin and ran into the woods with Katana our deer close with us, not sure how far you need to be away from those large propane tanks. Looking back we weren’t nearly far enough away.


It was the lowest time we had ever gone through together. The next morning my family helped us begin sifting through the rubble pile to try to salvage what we could. I wouldn't wish that process on anyone, those of you have gone through a fire know what I mean. Staring at starting over from scratch was beyond daunting. Our bit of savings wasn't going to touch that problem and we were looking at a few years of us working another job to see if we could collect enough materials to begin the building process, assuming we still had the drive to make knives by the end of it. We prayed about it and had just decided that we weren’t going to give it up no matter what. Adam decided to let our friends and customers know on FB so we didn’t have to go through telling the story to each friend and family member.


That’s when you guys came in. Encouragement and tactile help came literally FLOODING in from around the world. People we didn't even know sent us prayers, encouragement and the kick in the pants to get going. Adam kept showing me his email saying “Look at this, look at this!” Every few minutes it felt like another Paypal came in, it was completely surreal. There were phone messages from folks saying “You don’t know me but if you need anything call this number”. We got several offers of work from concerned people and an absolutely incredible amount of makers and collectors donating knives and just giving away the proceeds so that we could rebuild. The other half of that equation is the generosity of the folks buying these things. We were thunderstruck, nothing in our life experiences had prepared us for the magnitude of the gift. That many people believing in us and our work was like getting a shot of adrenaline. So now, only a week later, because of you, we are making plans to rebuild as soon as we can gather materials and the weather allows this Spring. We’re planning on pouring concrete over our destroyed pad and sourcing a used steel building so that we can get back to work as soon as possible. As crazy as it sounds we may even have something on the table at BLADE…it will be a different tablecloth though. You all, by your kindness and generosity have given us over $50,000 in just a WEEK! This isn’t including the physical tools and materials you all have sent. It sounds so very thin but thank you. To everyone who gave us 5 or 25 or 50 dollars and included a note saying it wasn’t much, now you know how much it really is. I know we’ll get chances to pay it forward in this community and we are eager to do so. It was pretty chastising to see the gifts that we’ve received from people who have been through a fire in the last few years. I looked at Adam and said “We gave towards their building fund but not nearly that much.” He replied “We certainly will next time.” It’s true, we’re looking at life through completely different eyes now.


We’re headed to Dave and Andrea Lisch’s to teach some classes at Studio 4 in Seattle Jan. 14 and then to Mexico to stay with family and get some dental work done for a few days. It probably sounds like odd timing to take a trip right now but it’s not something we can get refunded and there isn't a good enough reason to back out of our work commitments. On the contrary it’s our only paying gig right now and it’s 15 degrees here so even if we had the concrete in hand we wouldn't be pouring it. Getting a break from the ash pile should help us get a fresh perspective. We’ll be looking at a used steel building for sale in Bellingham so that’s pretty exciting because it would mean an almost instant shop compared to the logging/milling/nail pounding route we did last time. We’ve put your donations in a separate account just for rebuilding this shop.


The compassion and understanding about our pups means the world to us. In their lifetime they didn't meet all that many people and I’m sure Neva would be embarrassed by all the attention. Shadowynn on the other hand would take it in stride because she tended to just assume everyone loved her. Thank you for indulging our emotions like this, we look forward to hearing stories about all of your special friends in the future. On the happier side we’ve reserved a German Wirehair Pointer from a coming litter in Alabama so while you can never replace your partner we’ve got something to look forward to this Spring. The old concrete pad had two sets of paw prints in it so it’s tradition now.
Again, thank you.


Haley




That's our cabin in front of the fire. It was a miracle that it was spared.









And here's the cleaned up pad.

 

[Lorien]

you two represent most of what I love about the custom knife community.
I wholeheartedly believe in both of you and what you're doing with the life you share together.

 

[Wulf]

That must have been very difficult to write, Haley. But I think I speak for every member of this big weird family of ours when I say that we will all share in the joy of seeing you rebuild and continue on with your art and passion. God bless you both, and thank you for your dedication and commitment to your craft and your community.

 

[RogerP]

That must have been very difficult to write, Haley. But I think I speak for every member of this big weird family of ours when I say that we will all share in the joy of seeing you rebuild and continue on with your art and passion. God bless you both, and thank you for your dedication and commitment to your craft and your community.

You certainly speak for me. Wishing both the very best.

 

[HallHandmade]

Well it sounds like the community didn't just step up, they jumped up. I don't think a single one of us who have helped, are helping, or will help, could wish for more than reading the above.

I eagerly await admiring your new work sooner rather than later. I'm supremely confident that you two will blow our minds with what new comes out of your reborn shop.

Edit: I will not soapbox because that is rude and innapropriate, but I will say that none or very few of us do this because it's easy. We do it because we must, because we have an almost supernatural compulsion to bend these materials to whatever our tastes tells us.

My point was that even though I don't know either of your personally, I do know that once you are bitten, you don't get unbitten. Our compulsion to help was no less strong than your compulsion to return to our shared home, the workbench.

I grimace with pain through every knife I make, yet the desire is so strong that even if I'm unable to work that day I will stand next to my bench for hours like a lost child. There are literally thousands of occupations that would be more suitable for me, yet here I am. That is the strange force of nature that flows through all our veins, and the engine that drove this entire occurence that we all have shared part in, whether willing or not.

 

[Steven65]

Haley what you and Adam have been through is nothing short of hell.
I am so relieved and delighted to hear the hope and healing in your message. It brings joy and happiness to us all.

I wish you everything of the best for a new and rejuvenated future, and to everyone who made that possible I say thank you, and G-d bless our little community.

Love and healing from down south........Steven

 

[Chris Montgomery]

I can only echo the things stated by those blessed with a more eloquent way with words. Through the tragedy, the pain and toil you will triumph to bring many delight, that and the grace you both have shown is as much as could ever be hoped for given these events.

Kindest regards,
Chris

 

[HallHandmade]

Adam and Haley, do you realize what you've done?

I debated posting this second reply, partly because I already commented and much like my statement in the handle material collection thread, I did not want to risk it seeming I was trying to draw attention to my own struggles in light of the terrible events you two have endured. I also was worried that what I post below may cause some pain via remembrance, but I truly feel it is important enough to risk. I want both of you to know this, and while I intend the message mostly for you two, I'm hoping maybe it may mean something else to someone else as well. I also felt it was important to devote a post to the amazing creatures we call dogs.


I will start off lighthearted since I plan to dig a bit deeper than I normally would in a public post, especially when speaking to few or none who are personally acquainted with me. First let me say that each and every block of fine Koa that I will be sending you, has been personally inspected by this little girl:

She has been watching me process a lot of wood recently since I haven't been able to work on blades. As I said above, dogs are amazing creatures. She has been watching me sort and grade countless blocks of wood on folding tables this past few months, and to my surprise she actually got the idea that poking around at wood on a table is just what we are supposed to do around here. Now every time I have blocks set out, she will jump up on the edge of the table and poke them around, just like dad does.


Believe it or not, if pieces are out of place due to her clumsy dad, she will make sure to go around the table and push them back from the edge. I had to see her do it a few times before I even believed my eyes. I don't know if she just likes the sound of them clinking together, but she definitely does it with purpose. If one is sticking out she will push it until flush with the row.

Sometimes if she finds a particularly attractive piece, she will take it to her private study for further grading. Let me assure you, her inspection process is most intimate:

She highly recommends the fiddleback pieces, they have a more enjoyable texture:

Now for the serious bit. This little girl doesn't just check my work, she heals my mind and body. She saved my life more than once, and she's only a seven month old puppy. How could a dog possibly do that? They can't talk and they don't have hands.

Last year was the hardest year of my life, the second half especially. I've been struggling for years, putting on a brave face, and putting one foot in front of the other, just like mom and dad taught me, just like I know you're supposed to. You can't struggle forever though. One day I woke up and I found that I had no fight left. My mind and body were spent. I was broken and unfixable. One night more recently than I like to admit, the love of my life, well into pregnancy with our first child, told me I had forgotten the emotion of happiness and that she was watching it kill me from the inside out. I had truly given up. That one sentence hurt me worse than any words spoken to me ever before, and probably until the day I die.

I'd walked every path and still failed to find a clean running spring. One day on a whim, my beautiful fiancé Robin, despite all the stresses we were going through, suggested we get a new puppy. I declined because I felt if I couldn't even care for myself, how could I care for a dog? Despite my refusal, I soon found myself with a beautiful little ball of fur, asleep on my feet while I worked at the bench, or while I laid in bed in too much pain to do anything other than curl up in a ball and clench my jaw. When I was feeling particularly sorry for myself, I just had to look down, and she would provide me with a desperately needed smile, free of charge. I might not have had the will to get out of bed for my own good, but how could I deny this sweet little creature a meal, or a moment of fun in a boring day, even if I could barely take the pain?

Soon I was smiling more often, even when I wasn't looking at her. Then I felt like I might have a chance at getting better. Then I actually did start to get better. I finally fought to get the medical care I hadn't gotten, and while I'm still not out of the woods, I have an appointment with a specialist in just two short weeks, by a random stroke of luck.

I had started to finally find my way, but during the dark times, I unintentionally shrank away from and shunned the very community that had supported me. I realized that I no longer talked to so many people that made me happy, and that for the first time in a long time, I really missed them. After what I'd been through, I didn't have the courage or confidence to come waltzing back in as if nothing had happened, and I didn't even know where to start. Then I read the terrible message written by my friend Ben Tendick. It tugged at my heartstrings, especially the loss of your special companions, after my special companion had just done so much for me in such a short time, and with nothing asked in return besides a bowl of food, a fun toy, and a tummy scratch (and maybe a piece of chicken here and there).

I knew right that second that I didn't just want to help you two, I HAD to help you two. I literally had no choice. Ben kindly offered to post the thread for me since he knew the circumstances under which I'd left the community, and didn't want me to feel forced into reconnecting just to be able to give the help I was compelled to give. It felt wrong though, I felt as if returning and posting the handle material thread was something I needed to do, for the reasons mentioned above and probably a few more.


Adam and Haley, do you know what you two have done? For that matter what your two dogs have done? They were a huge part of the compassion and drive that compelled me to return here and to help you two. You two and your two dogs saved my life, my career, my family, my sanity, my place in the community. This terrible event gave me a badly needed new perspective on life and the knife community as a whole, and healed too many wounds to count. I will remember you two and your two special hounds until my dying day, and I will always be deeply grateful for what you have done for me. I could NEVER repay the value your terrible loss had to me. It was but one event in a chain of many for me, but it was the capstone, the last piece of the puzzle I needed to feel whole again, and find my deeply buried true self under the ashes of my own internal fire.

Your loss brought me back to the community, back into the arms of my loving wife, and back into the life of my unborn baby daughter. I will be forever grateful, and my baby girl Emelyn will carry these lessons for the rest of her life as well. Your unfortunate tragedy has had a positive multi-generational impact on my family. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart, I know that it would be better had this never happened, but I finally do believe everything happens for a reason, and the statement no longer offends me as it once did.


Adam and Haley, best wishes, and condolences for the loss of your very special friends. I can't wait to send up the care package I'm working on, rest assured there will be a HUGE smile on my face when I see the first knives come out, whether my stock or not. To anyone else who may have done me the honor of reading through this, thank you, and I sincerely hope you are able to take something from it.

Ian

 

[gthouse]

Adam and Haley, this is the most caring and sharing group of people I have ever been involved with. I am so proud to see what is being done for you. I have been involved in many businesses and you always had to watch your back. Fire is devastating (had a large commercial laundry burn to the ground)
So looking forward to see your progress and see you at Blade. I have never seen a response like you are receiving. You are truly blessed and deserving of all you receive. Gary

 

[sheathmaker]

Brother Hall, that little girl is just a precious doll! 2015 was kind of a sad year for me. I had to put down "Molly", my fourteen year old Australian Cattle Dog and one of my very best friends. You could have witnessed a grown man crying like a baby as I held her while they put her to sleep.

>….but then there's "Elam", my shop foreman pictured below. He's actually my daughter's dog, but don't tell him that because he spends every day in the shop with me. He came to live with us when he was just 7 weeks old. I taught him not to beg. My tried an true method of giving him whatever he wants before he has a chance to beg…..but it worked he doesn't beg!

It is my hope and prayer that when you visit that specialist, he finds the answer and gets you back to 100% pronto!

Paul

This is "Elam" rough coat Jack Russell Terrier.

 

[i4Marc]

If you have ever wondered what kind of difference you have made in this life or if you have left any kind of mark on this world, take notice. The money or things that you acquire (or lose) are a poor indicator. The best reflection of your impact in this life are your friends. You are very rich indeed.

 

[Patrice Lemée]

That must have been very difficult to write, Haley. But I think I speak for every member of this big weird family of ours when I say that we will all share in the joy of seeing you rebuild and continue on with your art and passion. God bless you both, and thank you for your dedication and commitment to your craft and your community.

You speak for me too. I love this community.

 

[Bigfattyt]

I can tell you, I don't know why there is such an emotional connection to your tradegedy, but it's there, and people all over the world are thinking of you and pulling for you two.

Maybe it is because, as a couple, you seem to be Unicorns. Two lovely people who are both talented, and are doing what many of us blade lovers dream of doing.

Your success , not just in knife making, but in life as a couple makes the rest of us believe anything is possible.

I have family who has lost everythingto a house fire, house, guns, knives, family photos clothes and vehicles right before Christmas. They were all asleep when it happened. Their fire alarm did not even go off until after they were outside standing in the snow in their PJ's.

I've heard him say it was a miracle, how others around him responded. His family not only recovered, but he, his wife, and 8 kids are probably the best example of a successful family I've ever known.


I hope you two are able to keep doing what you enjoy.

Most of my life, I have wanted to make knives. I've never been brave enough to take a leap from what I do for a living. When I was in lawschool, Bruce Bump advertised a position for a shop apprentice. I'll probably live my life thinking I should have quit law school and gone for it.

If I won the lottery, I imagine doing what you two are doing. (This would be a dream, because I really don't have the skill or talent.....).

 

[HallHandmade]

Brother Hall, that little girl is just a precious doll! 2015 was kind of a sad year for me. I had to put down "Molly", my fourteen year old Australian Cattle Dog and one of my very best friends. You could have witnessed a grown man crying like a baby as I held her while they put her to sleep.

>….but then there's "Elam", my shop foreman pictured below. He's actually my daughter's dog, but don't tell him that because he spends every day in the shop with me. He came to live with us when he was just 7 weeks old. I taught him not to beg. My tried an true method of giving him whatever he wants before he has a chance to beg…..but it worked he doesn't beg!

It is my hope and prayer that when you visit that specialist, he finds the answer and gets you back to 100% pronto!

Paul

This is "Elam" rough coat Jack Russell Terrier.

Aussies are amazing dogs. Sharp as a tack and oozing personality. That is definitely one of the hardest days. We are very fortunate that the good days make it so much easier to swallow.

That surely is a handsome little guy. Jacks certainly don't lack in the personality department either. Thanks for the well wishes, much appreciated. The shop is the only place I've ever wanted to be.

If you have ever wondered what kind of difference you have made in this life or if you have left any kind of mark on this world, take notice. The money or things that you acquire (or lose) are a poor indicator. The best reflection of your impact in this life are your friends. You are very rich indeed.

Indeed. May we all be lucky enough to always remember that the most important things in life are those close to us.

I can tell you, I don't know why there is such an emotional connection to your tradegedy, but it's there, and people all over the world are thinking of you and pulling for you two.

I don't know the exact reason why myself, but I do know that the world contains a whole heck of a lot more good than I have previously given it credit for.

 

[Charlie Mike]

Wow, this is amazing.

 

[stezann]

What a tragedy!! I feel so sad for your losses, as well as i am sure you are the kind of few guys who can land on your feet after all of this, regardless the amazing support coming from this wonderful community!
Boots on the ground DesRosiers!!!! :thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

 

[marthinus]

Haley, Adam

You have been through so much emotionally. Prayers sent.

 

[DesRosiers]

Ian,

Wow, it sounds like you've been through a lot and that there are many battles still ahead. I can't believe you're taking the time to think about our troubles in the middle of everything on your end. We are very touched. Your puppy is a heart melter, they really do bring healing and purpose don't they? I wonder sometimes how they see our work and how much of it they understand. We teasingly show them our days labor and ask what they think, do they see it as the world's most boring game or do they sense the pressure and striving, elation and defeat? They certainly have a gift for 'saying' just the right thing.

Paul,
You bring tears with your words. There's never a 'good time' to let them go. The only thing I can figure on why animals don't live as long as humans is so we get to love more of them. I wish I could keep my dog forever and change shotguns every 15 years. Elam looks like a bundle of personality who has found a happy place to spend his days.

Everyone has written us such kind and encouraging words. The amazing response to our troubles reflects on the incredible community we are a part of, not some sort of personal merit we could claim. No-one deserves this level of generosity.

We sure love hearing about everyone's shop critters, keep it coming!!

-Haley

 

[TPVT]

obviously, i am not part of the knifemaker's community. however, your small community is part of a larger community. and your words are quite moving.

as many have said, i personally know people that have been misplaced by fire. as you mentioned, losing "everything" is a tough thing to overcome, particularly emotionally.

i don't have all the right words to say here, but needless to say, your story caught my attention. i wish you the very best. thoughts and prayers to you and your family as you recover.

 

[SharpByCoop]

Hi Haley (and Adam),

Without exception, your tragedy shook all of us, as these unforeseen things will do. Without exception, the loss of Neva and Shadowynn during this, was excruciating to know. Unimaginable losses and heart-wrenching tears for you guys. Ugghh.

They are giving back as I write. I know the Knife World would have responded, but these two lives simply put the tragedy over the top. This made me (and I'm sure others) look deeper inward and share outward.

Dogs and pets and friends are irreplaceable. Stuff? Not so. Your new shop will be better than ever.

Thanks for keeping us posted and for your warm uplifting thoughts and memories.

Here's my Wilson; he wants to give you a slurp.

Jim