We had a wasp in the office this afternoon (operative term "HAD"), i've been stung by wwasps many times for no reason, so i have an irrational hatred of the little buggers, seeing a wasp immediately triggers my primitive Caveman-esque "GRAHHH, MACTECH KILL BUG NOW!!!" instincts, gotta kill them before they sting me.....
(if you've ever been stung by a yellowjacket wasp you'd understand, evil, hateful bastards they all are, whoever invented wasps needs to be fired....)
so, anyway, the first line of atttack was to openly flaunt the rules of the Geneva Convention and perform a *CHEMICAL* attack, first with citrus cleaner (orange oil based) to knock the bugger down and disorient it. then follow up with a liberal dose of Lysol, to coat it's wings and confuse it's nervous system....
the next step was to trap it in a "prison cell" (plastic CD-R spindle cover) and wait for it to flip onto it's back and have the wings stick to the chemical bath on the windowsill
once the wasp was securely stuck to the chemical spray, it was time for "surgery", the Victorinox One Handed Trekker was chosen for both it's blade length, and long handle (to keep my hands clear of my "patient's" stinger), and scary-sharp scalpel thin blade
i opened the corner of the prison furthest from me, and positioned the "scalpel", intending to make the fastest, most humane cut possible, i may hate wasps with an irrational passion, but i don't want any animal to suffer unduly, even an evil, soulless, beady-eyed insect with the cranial capacity of your average politician (actually i shouldn't say that, i don't want to insult insects....), the kill must be quick and painless, suffering kept to an absolute minimum....
so, once the blade was aligned, a simple press down seperated the wasp's neural bundle from it's thorax, after one halfhearted attempt to sting the blade (silly wasp, you can't sting *steel*....). the wasp was no longer a threat
....i have considered putting it's head on a pin and staking it out on the windowsill as a warning to other wasps to stay clear, but that may be a little over the top, dontcha' think?....
free warning to all wasps, *STAY AWAY* from MacTech if you want to continue living, warning, exposure to MacTech is hazardous to your health....
(if you've ever been stung by a yellowjacket wasp you'd understand, evil, hateful bastards they all are, whoever invented wasps needs to be fired....)
so, anyway, the first line of atttack was to openly flaunt the rules of the Geneva Convention and perform a *CHEMICAL* attack, first with citrus cleaner (orange oil based) to knock the bugger down and disorient it. then follow up with a liberal dose of Lysol, to coat it's wings and confuse it's nervous system....
the next step was to trap it in a "prison cell" (plastic CD-R spindle cover) and wait for it to flip onto it's back and have the wings stick to the chemical bath on the windowsill
once the wasp was securely stuck to the chemical spray, it was time for "surgery", the Victorinox One Handed Trekker was chosen for both it's blade length, and long handle (to keep my hands clear of my "patient's" stinger), and scary-sharp scalpel thin blade
i opened the corner of the prison furthest from me, and positioned the "scalpel", intending to make the fastest, most humane cut possible, i may hate wasps with an irrational passion, but i don't want any animal to suffer unduly, even an evil, soulless, beady-eyed insect with the cranial capacity of your average politician (actually i shouldn't say that, i don't want to insult insects....), the kill must be quick and painless, suffering kept to an absolute minimum....
so, once the blade was aligned, a simple press down seperated the wasp's neural bundle from it's thorax, after one halfhearted attempt to sting the blade (silly wasp, you can't sting *steel*....). the wasp was no longer a threat
....i have considered putting it's head on a pin and staking it out on the windowsill as a warning to other wasps to stay clear, but that may be a little over the top, dontcha' think?....
free warning to all wasps, *STAY AWAY* from MacTech if you want to continue living, warning, exposure to MacTech is hazardous to your health....
