Drug names

Gollnick

Gollnick

Musical Director
Joined
Mar 22, 1999
Messages
29,258
I just got a list today of all the drugs my insurance company will let me have in 2006. It's quite a list. Unfortunately, the list doesn't tell you what the drugs are for. If they did that, you could choose your own drugs and bypass the doctor. And if you did that -- well -- how's he gonna make his boat payment? But, some of the names give the drugs away. For example:

Ability. This is what Superman takes. You take this stuff and you can do anything.

Albenza. This is probably used to treat addiction to Mercedes automobiles. I may have to get some of this stuff myself... but who would want to?

Amerge. Gives shy people the strength to get up and do what's got to be done.

Android (I kid you not;it's on the list.). It's probably good for lubricating joints.

Betimol. For gambling addiction I assume.

Here's one: Biltracide. Kills bills on contact. Unfortunately, they only allow two per day.

My favortite remains on the list, Rythmol. Who says white men can't dance? Now, thanks to new Rythmol, even you can get down and get funky. Rythmol is only available by prescription, so ask your doctor if Rythomol is right for you!

But, the drug industry is a competive one and Rythmol has some competition now. Yes, there's Salasanate for latin dancing! Ask your doctor about Salsanate.

Here's one I need: Rapamune! If you can't stand Rap music, relief is now at at hand with new Rapamune.

Cellcept for people who talk on their cell phones at inappropriate times.

Flatulence seems to be a big problem. There's a lot of drugs apparently for it. We've got Flovent and Provent.

Golf is a big market. Apparently, that's what Sensipar is for. "Doctor, I just can't figure out which club to use!" "Here, try new Sensipar!"




In the same spirit, let's see if any of you can suggest what these actual drugs may be for:

Allegra

Asmanex

Axert

Benicar

BiDil

CeeNu

Concerta

Copaxone

Effexor (I wonder how it effects her?)

Estring

Evista

Factive

Gabitril

Inspara

Metrogel and Metrolotion.

Mintezoil

Motofen

Precision Xtra

Prempro

Razadyne

Rifamate

Seasonale

Singulair

Testim

Topamax

Zelnorm

Zonegran

And the drug obviously named with the intent that it be on the bottom of every list: Zyvox.
 
Tiewas said:
Anyone taking bets on how fast this will be moved to whine and cheese?
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To move it to W&C, someone would have to post something which violates the rules here in CC and I would expect anyone who violated the forum rules to be dealt with accordingly. So, keep your crazy drug applications family-friendly and nobody will get hurt.
 
I think Estring is a weight-loss supplement for those who can no longer fit into their Gstring.
 
Tiewas said:
Anyone taking bets on how fast this will be moved to whine and cheese?
Click to expand...

You mean, something like that list of generic erectile dysfunction drug names that was floating around awhile back? (not gonna list any here, as I don't wanna risk the wrath of Gollnick!) :D
 
I guess I will never forget the add for levitra where Mike Ditka throws a football through a tire swing...hmmm I wonder what they are trying to say.

I started taking levitra right away but I still cannot throw a football worth a darn. The stuff doesnt work. :D
 
All the Prilosec I pop, and that heartburn doesn't go away! Time to buy another gallon of hot salsa. My new motto, SALSA FOR ALL MEALS!
 
SilentHunter - I took Prilosec for years, and prescription-stength Pepcid, Zantac, Aciphex, all of them and my heartburn just kept getting worse until I found out that heartburn isn't caused by too much acid but not enough acid. The "burn" is the stomach acid gas coming up into your esophogus. I started eating a smaller meal and before you eat take one TEASPOON of apple cider vinegar (preferably organic with the "mother") before you eat and it'll go away. Once you start adding acid to your stomach to help with digestion your stomach will start increasing proper acid production - after 15 years and gall bladder removal I'm off all the meds and have no problems.

FYI - the "mother" in vinegar is the brown stuff in the bottom of the bottle that made juice turn to vinegar in the first place and it's very good for you. I only recommend organic because most of the regular ones are filtered so that they look nice in the bottle.

<<edited for spelling>>
 
Know what really funny about the list?

The insurance company is telling what drug to use with you without ever examining you or being a physician. They pick these drugs as they get a better deal on them from the Drug company. Big $$$.

And when I hear about drug's costing $$$ all I hear is about the dinner a Doc got for free when he listened to a lecture.

On a side note Drugs companies TM names way before they even have drugs.


Paul
 
Gollnick said:
Albenza. This is probably used to treat addiction to Mercedes automobiles. I may have to get some of this stuff myself... but who would want to?
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C'mon, Albenza is clearly supposed to treat severe cases of Sebenza addiction (not that the addicts would ever want to be cured).
 
SilverFoxKnows said:
are psych meds. I don't remember if they're mood stabilizers, antidepressants or anticonvulsants, though.
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Yes, yes, I'm sure.

But the question I asked is not what are the drugs in question actually for. That's a boring question anyone could answer with google. The question is what does the name lead you to think it might be for.

Gabatril is obviously for people who talk to much. "Remember, guys, Gabatril is only available by prescription. So ask her doctor is Gabatril is right for your wife."

And when you see Topamax to you think "anticonvulsive?" I don't. I think maybe hair growth pills? Or is it something for mountain climbers?
 
Gollnick said:
And when you see Topamax to you think "anticonvulsive?" I don't. I think maybe hair growth pills? Or is it something for mountain climbers?
Click to expand...

I don't like where this is going. :eek: I don't care to imagine what may be in Otter's marital medicine cabinet and and don't appreciate any subtle segue to try to put those, (ahem)... suggestive descriptions in my heretofore chaste mind's eye!! :D
 
Allegra

Asmanex

Axert

Benicar

BiDil: Used by men during a sex-change. Take one and it's "BI-DIL"

CeeNu- pain Med, take one and I will be See-N-U in 8 hours when you come to your senses

Concerta- sleep aid.. makes you sing in bed so loud and so badly that your significant other smacks you in the bean with a brick rendering you unconscious

Copaxone: Sister drug to CopaxTWO

Effexor (I wonder how it effects her?): Antidepressant that has serious side effects-or it don't.

Estring

Evista

Factive

Gabitril

Inspara

Metrogel and Metrolotion; same thing as Yankee-ro-gel and yankee-ro-lotion [OH, how I wish this were W&C:grumpy: :mad: :( ]

Mintezoil:
 
Allegra

Asmanex----This would be the drug that deters the men from Ren in the shower (along the effect of curing the disease by killing the patient)

Axert

Benicar

BiDil

CeeNu

Concerta

Copaxone--

Effexor (I wonder how it effects her?)

Estring

Evista

Factive---This of course is the magical bean that turns you into a Cliff Stamp

Gabitril---Relative of Gerbatril and derative of another on this list...see Asmanex

Inspara

Metrogel and Metrolotion.---Obviously a gel to aid in the removal of a size 13 boot from a mall ninja's arse.

Mintezoil

Motofen

Precision Xtra--This is to be used in conjunction with Viagra.

Prempro

Razadyne

Rifamate

Seasonale

Singulair

Testim

Topamax--This isn't actually a drug, but a relative to the tampon...Except, it is for use in the pie hole of some particularly mouthy ones. Usually applied without permission or a px. :foot:

Zelnorm

Zonegran
 
Topamax is clearly for the cartographical challenged.

Factive is a drug that makes me and Fixer argue on the political forum. We just can't agree on the relative factive dosages.

Metrolotion fights bus or commuter train sickness.

I'm off to take my anti-alien abduction sounding Zyvox.

Jeff
 
wolfmann601 said:
OH, how I wish this were W&C:grumpy: :mad: :( ]
Click to expand...

One could copy the original post from this thread and any others you think especially worthy of W&C-style treatment into a W&C post of your own thus starting a parallel thread there on the same subject which wouldn't be limited by the PG-13 restrictions here in CC.

You could even petition (via e-mail or PM) a moderator to copy this thread to W&C allowing a more -- shall we say? -- wide-ranging treatment in W&C without either disturbing the thread here in CC or violating the rules here in CC.
;)
 
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