"Epic" Anger over Broken Puukko

J

James Mattis

Joined
Oct 3, 1998
Messages
3,264
If you find yourself in the middle of an epic in the time of myth and legend, and some joker bakes a stone into the middle of your loaf of bread, and you wreck your favorite knife in cutting it, should you:

a) Calmly take it to your neighborhood smith-god to be reforged?

b) Make a singing magic to summon wolves and bears from the forest to devour the knifemaker?

c) Make a singing magic to summon wolves and bears from the forest to devour the baker?

d) All of the above?

For the full story, see Kullervo's Broken Puukko. Note that the blade didn't just dull or chip, but broke off. Perhaps a zone-tempered Tommi knife, or even an inexpensive laminated steel Frosts-Mora #137 would have prevented a terrible tragedy. On the other hand, Kullervo was terribly strong and tended to break anything he touched, so maybe he sliced at that loaf of bread like he was swinging a broadsword at the skull of a troll.

Next time I play with my OCR program instead of getting work done, I'll upload the tale of the creation of bog-iron from the breast milk of three divine maidens, and how the wasp made iron break its promise not to hurt people.
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- JKM
www.chaicutlery.com
AKTI Member # SA00001
 
What the heck . . . Here's a taste of the Kalevala Epic, to bring this "warranty question" back to the top.
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Kullervo, son of Kalervo, blue-stockinged son of an old man, with yellow locks, handsome, with shoes with fine uppers, as soon as he is in the craftsman's house that evening asked for work, asked the master in the evening, the mistress in the morning: "Name the jobs here, give the job a name, tell me to what work I am to be put, for what labor I am to prepare myself."

Craftsman Ilmarinen's lady then thinks over to what work the new slave, to what labor the hired man can be put. She made the slave a herdsman, a tender of big cattle. That roguish mistress, the craftsman's wry-faced lady, baked a loaf for the herdsman, bakes a fat little loaf, oaten at the bottom, wheaten at the top; in the middle she works in a stone.

She spread the little loaf with melted butter, prepared the crust with drippings, gave it to the slave as his share, to the herdsman as a snack. She instructed the slave, uttered a word, spoke thus: "Do not eat this before the cattle have gone to the forest."
Click to expand...



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- JKM
www.chaicutlery.com
AKTI Member # SA00001
 
James, I would like to contribute, but I don't cut loafs, I pinch them. Sorry that I cannot be of any more help.
 
ROTFL!

I love it, JM!

"[Ilmarinen] ponders, he reflects: "What would become of that indeed if I should thrust it into the fire, put it into the forge? . . . When you come to fire's dwellings, to the bright one's barricade, there you will become beautiful, rise up to be magnificent as men's fine swords . . ."

Kalevala, 9.133-156

See, its ALL IN THE HEAT TREAT!



[This message has been edited by Summerland (edited 03-26-2000).]
 
We used a Cold Steel Vaquero Grande to cut up a five-foot loaf of challah bread at a bat mitzvah yesterday. I wonder if Lynn Thompson would be willing to put it through the Stone-Baked Bread Test.
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- JKM
www.chaicutlery.com
AKTI Member # SA00001
 
I must beg of you: Just don't put any of those beautiful KP Tommi Knives through the Secret Stone test. I could stand seeing a beat-up Cold Steel knife, but watching a Tommi knife break would probably make me cry.
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Cerulean

"Just because some folks think you make great kydex sheaths doesn't make you into some sort of mind reading psychologist." -Paracelsus
 
As a chat room moderator (and player) in a
AD&D type setting, (Simply put, we roleplay
as if in the middle ages, with added monsters
and demons.) I would take the knife to the
baker and demand satisfaction. That is, if I
were to cut bread at all. Seems to me, back
in the days before the sandwich, a chunk of
the loaf would have simply been torn off by
the hungry person. And then, dipped in a
nice meat gravy and devoured. Mmmmm...
getting hungry!

Dave
 
Hehehe...After reading the story, it still
goes to the baker for causing the blade to
break. She got off easy, just bears and
wolves.
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Dave
 
I'd force Ilmarinen to forge me whole set of puukkos and after all puukkos were finished I'd summon wolves to eat that wicked woman. After all because of her my heirloom destroyed . She must have been so malicious that Ilmarinen would have been relieved and mede me Sampo jr ltwt to be free
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.

BTW sampo *was* a machine that made flour, salt and money from nothing. Sampo jr should make only money so that I could buy many many many new puukkos and knives.
 
Cobalt, in the words of Austin Powers, "Oh, behave!"

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Don LeHue

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings...they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
 
Duh, this guy obviously has never heard of the saying "The right tool for the right project". He got what he deserved! IF you need to cut some stoned bread, you need to use the proper tool which in this case would be a Ginsu. I mean, it CAN cut through nails and STILL shave slices off a ripe tomato. Come on,a puukko!?!?! WTF?
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Jared - a fellow closet HSN watching addict.




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Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?

I hope that after I die, people will say of me: "That guy sure owed me a lot of money."
 
I would just get a new knife. The baker would probably tell me that flour is ground on mill stones; what did I expect? Besides, while his bread is guaranteed to be nutritious and wholesome, foreign bodies are not covered.

I certainly wouldn't take it to the knife maker, who would whip out a long list of things, like twisting or bending the tip, even in a hanging toilet paper test, and cutting stones would be on the list.
wink.gif


Walt
 
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