Forwarded by my friend, Atli. 
Food Spoilage Test for Bachelors
If it makes you gag, it is spoiled, unless it is something you just cooked for yourself. If the dog gags too, don't even think about it.
When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is past its prime.
Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Cheddar cheese is spoiled when you think it is blue cheese.
Frozen foods that frosted in place in the freezer will probably be spoiled (or wrecked anyway) by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.
If flies hang around the refrigerator door, the meat has gone bad.
Sesame seeds and poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable "spots" on bread. Seeds don't have legs. Fuzzy-looking white or green growth areas are pharmacologically active.
Flour -- bachelors shouldn't have flour since the only time you'll use it is if you mistake it for sugar or coffee creamer.
A carrot that you can tie into a clove hitch in is not fresh.
Raisins should not be harder than your teeth.
Fresh potatoes do not have roots or branches and don't leave dark stains in the drawer.
Putting empty containers back into the refrigerator is an old trick, but it only works if you live with your mother or have a maid.
Tupperware containers should not burp when you open them. If something is growing through the plastic, don't lift the lid to listen. The more tupperware you throw away, the less spoiled leftovers you will find in the future.
Food Spoilage Test for Bachelors
If it makes you gag, it is spoiled, unless it is something you just cooked for yourself. If the dog gags too, don't even think about it.
When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is past its prime.
Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Cheddar cheese is spoiled when you think it is blue cheese.
Frozen foods that frosted in place in the freezer will probably be spoiled (or wrecked anyway) by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.
If flies hang around the refrigerator door, the meat has gone bad.
Sesame seeds and poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable "spots" on bread. Seeds don't have legs. Fuzzy-looking white or green growth areas are pharmacologically active.
Flour -- bachelors shouldn't have flour since the only time you'll use it is if you mistake it for sugar or coffee creamer.
A carrot that you can tie into a clove hitch in is not fresh.
Raisins should not be harder than your teeth.
Fresh potatoes do not have roots or branches and don't leave dark stains in the drawer.
Putting empty containers back into the refrigerator is an old trick, but it only works if you live with your mother or have a maid.
Tupperware containers should not burp when you open them. If something is growing through the plastic, don't lift the lid to listen. The more tupperware you throw away, the less spoiled leftovers you will find in the future.
