- Joined
- Feb 15, 1999
- Messages
- 11,566
Redneck Mirror
After living in the remote wilderness of Carolina all his life, an old Redneck named Brent decided
it was time to visit the big city.
In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not ever having seen one
before, he remarked at the image staring back at him, 'How about that! Here's a
picture of my daddy.' He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his daddy,
but on the way home he remembered his wife, didn't like his father.
So he hung it in the barn, and every morning before leaving for the fields, he would
go there and look at it. His wife began to get suspicious of these many trips to the barn.
One day after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the mirror. As she
looked into the glass, she fumed, 'So that's the ugly bitch he's runnin' around with.'
REDNECK LENT
Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill
and cook a venison steak. But all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic,
and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.
The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a
problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.
The Priest came to visit Bubba, and suggested that he become a
Catholic.
After several classes and much study, Bubba became a Catholic, and as
the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, You were born a
Baptist, and raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic.
Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night
arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood. The
Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into
Bubba's yard clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, hestopped and
watched in amazement.
There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he
carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted: "You wuz
born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish."
After living in the remote wilderness of Carolina all his life, an old Redneck named Brent decided
it was time to visit the big city.
In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not ever having seen one
before, he remarked at the image staring back at him, 'How about that! Here's a
picture of my daddy.' He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his daddy,
but on the way home he remembered his wife, didn't like his father.
So he hung it in the barn, and every morning before leaving for the fields, he would
go there and look at it. His wife began to get suspicious of these many trips to the barn.
One day after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the mirror. As she
looked into the glass, she fumed, 'So that's the ugly bitch he's runnin' around with.'
REDNECK LENT
Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill
and cook a venison steak. But all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic,
and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.
The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a
problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.
The Priest came to visit Bubba, and suggested that he become a
Catholic.
After several classes and much study, Bubba became a Catholic, and as
the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, You were born a
Baptist, and raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic.
Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night
arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood. The
Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into
Bubba's yard clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, hestopped and
watched in amazement.
There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he
carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted: "You wuz
born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish."
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