The National Park Service and the Forever Corporation- perfect partners.
I doubt I'll be able to hit my stride telling this. I'm punchy from the Road, tired, memory shot to hell and can't think straight while I convalesce at Yvsa's home. But I wanted you to know what strides social engineering has been taking while you've been been grinding away at your jobs in good old USA.
I'd waited years to visit the Chihuahuan desert. The big trade with my wife this summer was Desert for Beach; she'll endure the cactus if I'll put up with seafood and warm water on San Padre Island. I love the desert so I consented. Big Bend National Park is at the heart of that portion of this desert within the US. She booked us a room for three nights at the 'prestigious' Chisos Basin Lodge in Chisos Basin Big Bend. The Country was wonderful. Thick with growth, it promised me the lizards I'd not seen for many years while living in the Rocky Mountain West.
There were a lot more cars in the parkinglot than I'd expected but that could be dealt with. When we entered the gift shop to check in, though, the first of several warnings sounded in my now mutant bear zombie brain. The staff behind the glass were friendly enough, but not like private business- like bureacrats, like Government employees. They were doing us a favor was the always present suggestion. We paid our money and took our key while they fiddled with computer screens and inventories. Our key number was 213, and for the rest of the stay, no matter how long I talked to each employee, they always asked to see the key to identify who I was and what my status was. I was not remembered. I just figured I wasn't as funny as I used to be, and forgot it.
When we arrived in the room my wife found there were not enough towels and especially washcloths, so I walked back to the office to ask for more.
"May I see your Key?"
I showed the key to the woman who'd given it to me four minutes ago and recieved two small wash cloths.
"Is that what you needed?"
"Yeah, that'll do. Thanks."
Inside the room I looked around and couldn't find a TV. I wanted to see the news. There was a brochure on the desk in front of the place a TV would normally sit and I read it. It described how wonderful everybody was for saving resources. The Forever Corporation was concerned about these resources and was doing its part. Please don't use more water than you need. Do you know how much water it takes to launder a towel? There were a couple different sized trash buckets in the room for sorting waste. We tried to throw aluminium into the blue one but my wife wasn't sure if good cardboard shouldn't make it there too, so we compromised and threw some cardboard in and kept some out. I think a tampon hit the bucket too but I'm not sure and if asked will 'not recall that incident'.
There was a plastic placard on the night stand- you placed this on a bed if you wanted them made the next day; otherwise, the linen was not changed.
The Sun would set soon and it was time to try the Forever Restaurant. You had to walk through the Gift Shot and I noticed there was a TV displaying CNN News in the corner below the ceiling.
We waited like the sign and blue rope said and fairly soon a rotund waiter came by and led us to a table. We ordered water and our meals and waited. While we sat I read more of Forever from a loose-bound card display on the table, each card on a topic like misunderstood Mountain Lions, how a Javelina really wasn't a pig, the Forever Company's goals, and one explaining if you were thirsty you had to ask for water because water was precious and they didn't want to waste any.
It took over 30 minutes for our food to arrive and it wasn't very good. It wasn't real bad either, but as it cost 15 to 20 per mouth I thought it should have erred towards the former.
On the way out I asked a Gift Shop employee about the TV.
"Yeah, everybody wanted to watch the Game today but we couldn't find the remote. The Manager has it. He normally allows us to view the News because it is good to improve our minds and it stimulates thought- that kind of thing. But we wanted the Game. It was a real drag."
"Why aren't there TV's in the rooms?"
He smiled. "Oh, I think they want you to spend the time learning about nature, and not inside the room. It's part of the holistic approach."
"But the Manager, does he own a TV?"
"Well..yes." He looked at me in sudden confusion, not wanting to talk anylonger.
I found many tumbled and wadded cable lines in the next few days, and their Satelite dishes, usually behind unused cabins or by a clump of bushes. But the manager's home, overlooking my room and all occupied dwellings in the small valley, had a working satellite and a TV.
As many of you know, I'm the primary care parent for my sons, the stay at home Dad. I've rarely been without them, and they never without the two of us. We wanted to call them that first night, and discovered yet another holistic detail- there were no phones in the rooms, and the site too remote for cell phone access. As bad, was a franic Grandmother at home with the children was expecting our call to verify safety and having reached our destination. It was the desert after all, 100 degrees, filled with thorns and snakes and being nearly empty of water known to bump off a few folks occasionally. Where were we?
The Pay phone. We pooled our change and had just enough, three minutes for a buck, to call. But it was the next night that grew my anger. We'd planned to phone and have Grandma and the kids call us back. We tried the same phone as the previous night, but it would no longer function. The next phone we found at the tiny Forever Grocery Store, had the location phone number ripped off the box. The third phone, on the outside wall of the Giftshop, did not have a legible number but someone had scrawled into the black oxide finish a pretty good guess as to what it was. They must have been as irritated as we for the scratches were buried deep into the metal.
It worked out. We called home, the call was returned and we heard our small son's voices.
Forever owns all the non-Park work in Big Bend. The gas stations, stores, shops, lodge and cabins. They'd bid on this fat opportunity and it was theirs. When I asked a Park Ranger about the phones at Big Bend, it was suggested the local phone company just didn't have enough lines. When I asked the Forever staff about the phones, they said the Park service discouraged them.
The Scorpian- There were three species of scorpian. From all the accounts I could find, the nearly translucent one hurt like hell, but the others were like bee stings. Unless you were allergic, of course. The door of our room was not sealed. An army of scorpians could march through. I could stick a finger under the bottom of the door and at the side. We finally saw a scorpian, outside and on the wall. There was no way to keep that squiggly slender thing out of any room except a hermetically sealed one, but it would have been a nice gesture to at least have a decent door. I never slept well. That first night I was afraid to even roll over. That's not Forever's fault- but there is a pattern; the resources to be saved were the most costly for them to provide. The maintanence in the rooms was minimal. There were no phone lines or Satellite dishes. Forever was making money while saving our planet. You could rent a tv/vcr from them, btw, for 10 dollars a night and watch tapes. Violent hollywood action films were fine for the wilderness holistic health.
The next day at Chisos we went for a evening hike. The lodge had emptied, and most of the vehicles were gone. I've noticed in recent years that National Parks are colder- people do not have the joy and do not drop the social barriors with one another as they used to. Crowds are frequently quiet. Strangers do not talk to strangers. I guess it wouldn't matter much if the parkinglot was full or empty- we were still alone.
I did strike up a few freindly conversations. But the hour is late here, and my brain really has suffered from miles, ill health and lack of sleep. I'll try and tell all later, but lemme spit out the rest of this segment anyway:
There's a well known hike in Big Bend called the Window. In the pamphlet a nice looking gal is poised on a ledge from a solid stone wall, overlooking a mighty desert below. The hike looked easy enough, and we thought we had time to do it before night fall. There was an easy version and a 'moderate' one. I thought we were on the easy trail but was mistaken. A mile into it we came to a parkinglot. We could have driven down and saved two out of shape bodies some strain. No matter. But what we found next floored me.
A hundred yards further down the trail we found the sign- "There has been a Mountain Lion sighted frequenting this area. He could be aggressive and a danger to humans. Do not use this trail in the early morning, at dusk, or with small children."
This was the moment for me. This tied in the Airline policies on weapons, the National Parks policy on firearms, and making a Cougar breeding station at tax payer expense. (to the infinite anger of the local ranchers who then had to shoot the young lions forced out every year. In fact, a Park employee bragged, 'Our lion population is very stable here.") All the insanity came together. Oh, I know this is kind of funny, and in another more well-rested mood I could have made grand parody of all this, but the end result of no sleep, and no weapons permitted, and cougars permitted not to fear men, was that my wife and I grabbed rocks in our hands to finish the hike to the Window. The Texas bush was thick and we had a long passage through it. I was scared. And I was pissed. No more. I will get a blem kukri that I can stand to lose to a thief in the airlines, one to keep in the suitcase checked in, but I will not travel unarmed because the combined ninnies and good intentions and flawed logics of the world want it that way because it's more convenient for them. I paid them for the room, the towels, the water, the flight, but don't want to donate my life.
Oh- the next day after I asked about the tv, the one in the Gift Shop was turned off. They probably turned it on again after I left. They did give me a good bye; the burger I ate there gave me food poisening. I still have some of the effects now.
Sorry for being so long winded.
munk
I doubt I'll be able to hit my stride telling this. I'm punchy from the Road, tired, memory shot to hell and can't think straight while I convalesce at Yvsa's home. But I wanted you to know what strides social engineering has been taking while you've been been grinding away at your jobs in good old USA.
I'd waited years to visit the Chihuahuan desert. The big trade with my wife this summer was Desert for Beach; she'll endure the cactus if I'll put up with seafood and warm water on San Padre Island. I love the desert so I consented. Big Bend National Park is at the heart of that portion of this desert within the US. She booked us a room for three nights at the 'prestigious' Chisos Basin Lodge in Chisos Basin Big Bend. The Country was wonderful. Thick with growth, it promised me the lizards I'd not seen for many years while living in the Rocky Mountain West.
There were a lot more cars in the parkinglot than I'd expected but that could be dealt with. When we entered the gift shop to check in, though, the first of several warnings sounded in my now mutant bear zombie brain. The staff behind the glass were friendly enough, but not like private business- like bureacrats, like Government employees. They were doing us a favor was the always present suggestion. We paid our money and took our key while they fiddled with computer screens and inventories. Our key number was 213, and for the rest of the stay, no matter how long I talked to each employee, they always asked to see the key to identify who I was and what my status was. I was not remembered. I just figured I wasn't as funny as I used to be, and forgot it.
When we arrived in the room my wife found there were not enough towels and especially washcloths, so I walked back to the office to ask for more.
"May I see your Key?"
I showed the key to the woman who'd given it to me four minutes ago and recieved two small wash cloths.
"Is that what you needed?"
"Yeah, that'll do. Thanks."
Inside the room I looked around and couldn't find a TV. I wanted to see the news. There was a brochure on the desk in front of the place a TV would normally sit and I read it. It described how wonderful everybody was for saving resources. The Forever Corporation was concerned about these resources and was doing its part. Please don't use more water than you need. Do you know how much water it takes to launder a towel? There were a couple different sized trash buckets in the room for sorting waste. We tried to throw aluminium into the blue one but my wife wasn't sure if good cardboard shouldn't make it there too, so we compromised and threw some cardboard in and kept some out. I think a tampon hit the bucket too but I'm not sure and if asked will 'not recall that incident'.
There was a plastic placard on the night stand- you placed this on a bed if you wanted them made the next day; otherwise, the linen was not changed.
The Sun would set soon and it was time to try the Forever Restaurant. You had to walk through the Gift Shot and I noticed there was a TV displaying CNN News in the corner below the ceiling.
We waited like the sign and blue rope said and fairly soon a rotund waiter came by and led us to a table. We ordered water and our meals and waited. While we sat I read more of Forever from a loose-bound card display on the table, each card on a topic like misunderstood Mountain Lions, how a Javelina really wasn't a pig, the Forever Company's goals, and one explaining if you were thirsty you had to ask for water because water was precious and they didn't want to waste any.
It took over 30 minutes for our food to arrive and it wasn't very good. It wasn't real bad either, but as it cost 15 to 20 per mouth I thought it should have erred towards the former.
On the way out I asked a Gift Shop employee about the TV.
"Yeah, everybody wanted to watch the Game today but we couldn't find the remote. The Manager has it. He normally allows us to view the News because it is good to improve our minds and it stimulates thought- that kind of thing. But we wanted the Game. It was a real drag."
"Why aren't there TV's in the rooms?"
He smiled. "Oh, I think they want you to spend the time learning about nature, and not inside the room. It's part of the holistic approach."
"But the Manager, does he own a TV?"
"Well..yes." He looked at me in sudden confusion, not wanting to talk anylonger.
I found many tumbled and wadded cable lines in the next few days, and their Satelite dishes, usually behind unused cabins or by a clump of bushes. But the manager's home, overlooking my room and all occupied dwellings in the small valley, had a working satellite and a TV.
As many of you know, I'm the primary care parent for my sons, the stay at home Dad. I've rarely been without them, and they never without the two of us. We wanted to call them that first night, and discovered yet another holistic detail- there were no phones in the rooms, and the site too remote for cell phone access. As bad, was a franic Grandmother at home with the children was expecting our call to verify safety and having reached our destination. It was the desert after all, 100 degrees, filled with thorns and snakes and being nearly empty of water known to bump off a few folks occasionally. Where were we?
The Pay phone. We pooled our change and had just enough, three minutes for a buck, to call. But it was the next night that grew my anger. We'd planned to phone and have Grandma and the kids call us back. We tried the same phone as the previous night, but it would no longer function. The next phone we found at the tiny Forever Grocery Store, had the location phone number ripped off the box. The third phone, on the outside wall of the Giftshop, did not have a legible number but someone had scrawled into the black oxide finish a pretty good guess as to what it was. They must have been as irritated as we for the scratches were buried deep into the metal.
It worked out. We called home, the call was returned and we heard our small son's voices.
Forever owns all the non-Park work in Big Bend. The gas stations, stores, shops, lodge and cabins. They'd bid on this fat opportunity and it was theirs. When I asked a Park Ranger about the phones at Big Bend, it was suggested the local phone company just didn't have enough lines. When I asked the Forever staff about the phones, they said the Park service discouraged them.
The Scorpian- There were three species of scorpian. From all the accounts I could find, the nearly translucent one hurt like hell, but the others were like bee stings. Unless you were allergic, of course. The door of our room was not sealed. An army of scorpians could march through. I could stick a finger under the bottom of the door and at the side. We finally saw a scorpian, outside and on the wall. There was no way to keep that squiggly slender thing out of any room except a hermetically sealed one, but it would have been a nice gesture to at least have a decent door. I never slept well. That first night I was afraid to even roll over. That's not Forever's fault- but there is a pattern; the resources to be saved were the most costly for them to provide. The maintanence in the rooms was minimal. There were no phone lines or Satellite dishes. Forever was making money while saving our planet. You could rent a tv/vcr from them, btw, for 10 dollars a night and watch tapes. Violent hollywood action films were fine for the wilderness holistic health.
The next day at Chisos we went for a evening hike. The lodge had emptied, and most of the vehicles were gone. I've noticed in recent years that National Parks are colder- people do not have the joy and do not drop the social barriors with one another as they used to. Crowds are frequently quiet. Strangers do not talk to strangers. I guess it wouldn't matter much if the parkinglot was full or empty- we were still alone.
I did strike up a few freindly conversations. But the hour is late here, and my brain really has suffered from miles, ill health and lack of sleep. I'll try and tell all later, but lemme spit out the rest of this segment anyway:
There's a well known hike in Big Bend called the Window. In the pamphlet a nice looking gal is poised on a ledge from a solid stone wall, overlooking a mighty desert below. The hike looked easy enough, and we thought we had time to do it before night fall. There was an easy version and a 'moderate' one. I thought we were on the easy trail but was mistaken. A mile into it we came to a parkinglot. We could have driven down and saved two out of shape bodies some strain. No matter. But what we found next floored me.
A hundred yards further down the trail we found the sign- "There has been a Mountain Lion sighted frequenting this area. He could be aggressive and a danger to humans. Do not use this trail in the early morning, at dusk, or with small children."
This was the moment for me. This tied in the Airline policies on weapons, the National Parks policy on firearms, and making a Cougar breeding station at tax payer expense. (to the infinite anger of the local ranchers who then had to shoot the young lions forced out every year. In fact, a Park employee bragged, 'Our lion population is very stable here.") All the insanity came together. Oh, I know this is kind of funny, and in another more well-rested mood I could have made grand parody of all this, but the end result of no sleep, and no weapons permitted, and cougars permitted not to fear men, was that my wife and I grabbed rocks in our hands to finish the hike to the Window. The Texas bush was thick and we had a long passage through it. I was scared. And I was pissed. No more. I will get a blem kukri that I can stand to lose to a thief in the airlines, one to keep in the suitcase checked in, but I will not travel unarmed because the combined ninnies and good intentions and flawed logics of the world want it that way because it's more convenient for them. I paid them for the room, the towels, the water, the flight, but don't want to donate my life.
Oh- the next day after I asked about the tv, the one in the Gift Shop was turned off. They probably turned it on again after I left. They did give me a good bye; the burger I ate there gave me food poisening. I still have some of the effects now.
Sorry for being so long winded.
munk
Hope the vacation went well besides the "hotel experience"... 
