Free Ice Cream .

K

Kevin the grey

Joined
Aug 26, 2005
Messages
4,106
There is free Ice Cream being given away on another site . From now until 5:30 P:M" E:S:T: if you type in free ice cream into a search engine it will lead you to a site giving away sugar free , fat free , guilt free , great tasting ice cream . Don,t worry if the search engine says no such site . Its cause its so busy . I have already had four scoops and each one was better than the last ! No need to thank me .
 
What ? Nobody sharked up any of that free ice cream ? I figured at least one or two of you would come back to complain that it wasn,t really sugar free !
I envisioned a nice leisurely swim in the shark pool while you guys floundered about .
Hey wait a minute ....... if I,m here all alone where are you guys ? ! !
 
munk said:
I think they went to the Free Beer site.
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Don't let the secret out. I'm pretending to be drunk from imaginary beer. Less filling, indeed...

Watch yourself. I'm an angry pretend drunk.
 
Dave Rishar said:
Don't let the secret out. I'm pretending to be drunk from imaginary beer. Less filling, indeed...

Watch yourself. I'm an angry pretend drunk.
Click to expand...

One drink makes me happy. :D
Two drinks make me sad. :(
Three drinks make me awful gadamn mean and :grumpy:
Four drinks make me mad :mad:

Five drinks and I wanna fight.
Six drinks and I do.
And, Buddy, after this seventh drink,
I'm comin' after YOU.
 
On an unrelated note:

Dave, the evolution of your icon is an aboslute trip... :thumbup: Really enjoying the art.

How about next, that fembot holding a sign that says "All your base are belong on fire."

___

No, I can't sleep.



Ad Astra
 
Dave Rishar said:
How big of an old boy are you, Jerry? You want a popknot on your head?

;)
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Q: How old Jerry Mings?
A: 62 and counting.

172 cm tall and 98 kg. In my youth and at my "fighting weight" just about every time I saw someone bigger than I, my id would wisper "You could take him."

Popknot? Wish I had a nickle....

My last fight was 1959.
During the Johnson years I did see an interesting bar fight though. A guy in uniform was quite drink and resting his head on his arm at a table. A blue-collar type came up and started ragging him about Viet Nam and his branch (I don't remember what it was.) The drunk raised his bleery eyes and it sank in what was being said. He jabbed the civillian with the tips of his fingers in the diaphram and as the guy doubled over the solder swung his hand up and caught him on the nose with his palm. The civilian almost did a back flop. His friends rushed to him. Blood all over the place. The bartender started dialing and the solder's friends hustled him out of the bar. Close on their heels was yours truly.

I haven't had any alcohol in over 30 years.

I wouldn't stand a chance against you, Dave, nor would I care to try :)

Oh and then there was the time I showed a guy in a bar a kung fu punch in slow motion. "Doyaknow what a right cross is?" he asked.
Next thing I know, I'm laying on the floor having beer poured on my face to wake me up.

Stay safe, Dave.
 
jerry,

reminds me of a night down at the river club out of decatur, alabama. my little runty friend from work was sittin' enjoying his beer when someone came over and asked him about 'all that gook writn' on his sweatshirt and threatened to take his gook-lovin head off and started to reach fior him. my friend kicked him in the jaw without getting out of his chair, the guy flopped to the floor. we all finished our beers & sauntered out. nobody else much noticed. it was one of them bars where you checked your knives, shotguns and pistols at the door. my little runty friend was a jiu jitsu godan, tho he did other styles as well... we went over to the amvets club, quieter there. met my second wife that night.
 
College years:

Early Spring of a year, some buddies picked me up and we went bowling and drinking beer. On the way home, past midnight, I had them drop me off at a REAL Irish bar,( named the Four Provinces if I remember correctly,) not some yuppie pub, about four blocks from my family home.

In I went, and wandered down to the far end of the bar. There were three men at the bar, plus the bartender. Some country and western music was on the juke box.

After a bit, as I sat nursing a beer I shouldn't have had, the bartender came down to me and asked, quite politely, if I'd mind if they unplugged the juke box. "Fine by me," I said. And so they did.

Then...then...one of the men at the bar picked up two quarters. Another took out a sweet potato pipe (a wind instrument, no reed). The man with the quarters became percussion rhythm, and the piper wove a high-pitched melancholy around it.

And then...the bartender began to sing, in a lovely fine tenor. No song I knew, nor one I'd heard...but sweet and fine, his voice an instrument itself. They played and he sang for almost 20 minutes, and it was like church music in its purity. Lovely moments. Wonderful memory.

And then...the bartender came over to me and said they were closing the bar a bit early to go and welcome the opening of a new Irish bar, just down the street. He hoped I wouldn't mind, and would I like to come with them?

I didn't mind, and although I knew better, I was happy to accompany them.

We walked through the slush to the new bar, and once identified by the new bar-owner, were greeted with great enthusiasm. I was taken as one of the gracious welcomers from the Provinces bar. He set up shorty beers and a shot of bourbon, with a er...floater of some liquor. I don't like bourbon, so I threw it down and washed the taste away with the beer. As I set the beer down, I noticed that the whiskey glass was full again!

jaysus.

And so it went for a bit.

At some point a wall lurched into me. Actually, not a wall, but a bi-ped of wall dimensions, if not wall intelligence. I said, "Excuse me." He said, "You somethingorother no-good motherless somethingorother, I'm going to smash you!"

"Fine, but outside, please." (I have manners.)

We walked to the back of the bar, the door open, a flimsy screen door held shut with a much-over-extended spring, stretched far too many times. He was in front of me, this walking wall.

He slammed the screen door open. It banged with a huge report against the side. He took giant strides out, over the threshold to the back delivery area, now covered with snow, and slush and some frozen ground. He planted one huge foot down and went to pivot to slam me.

He slipped on the ice, fell flat on his back and slammed his head on the ground!


I walked back into the bar, dusted my hands together with great flourish. Thanked the bar-owner and the singers, and walked out the front and on to the four blocks home.

My last bar fight.
 
You guys ? Its St.Pattys day ! Come have a shot of good Irish cheer with this peace loving Irishman . The only bar fight I,ve had was the fight the bar had to stop me from falling on the floor . There has been the occasion where the bar has lost the fight . We always made up afterwards though .
 
Don't let the secret out. I'm pretending to be drunk from imaginary beer. Less filling, indeed...

Watch yourself. I'm an angry pretend drunk.
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:thumbup: :D Where else but this forum? I love it!

Great story Kis:thumbup: Someone was 'watchinyerass' that night doncha think;)
 
:D @ Kis' story ! :D

err....brawl with the 'wall'.....

How bout 'Whatchass....' and 'Stay safe and well' :D

No bar fight here.....that's why I am still typing. :o
 
The only bar fight i've ever been in wasn't even my fault and i don't remember it very well. I was out drinking heavily with my friends in Louisville hopping from pub to pub and was several Irish Carbombs into the wind. I'm a happy, sloshy, drunk that smiles and sits quietly...although i do stagger a bit, but i don't fall.
Anyway, so off I go to the bar to grab another beer. Walk, walk, stumble, sway, and bump into a liliputan patron with a chip on his shoulder. Now i'm not a big guy at 175lb and 5'10, but i was towering over this lil' fella by a good 4". Anyway, he spins around and sees me smiling (i'm always smiling), thinks i being wise and bumping into on purpose. I had no idea i had even touched him. The only feeling i had at that point was the liquid sloshing in my stomach and ever increasing pressure on my bladder. The lil fella just hauls off and col'cocks me in jaw...square. It knocks me back a little, I spin, and find myself sitting at an empty chair at someone else's table.
The bar goes silent and the wee white sugar ray is poised to come "get me". The waitress trying to break up the fight, nice girl named Wendy, comes over to talk to me. Before she can get a word out, i'm told I said something to effect of "Hey, Wendy, could you bring me another Guinness?...a cold one. I'm sure my jaw is going to be hurting tomorrow...and a shot of whiskey for my friend here (pointing to the dwarf that just assulted me). I'm sure his hand has to smart pretty bad after hitting a skull as hard as mine."
So I had my beer, and my attcker had his shot. We talked for a few mins and he was very sorry. Girl troubles. I believe his name was Gary or George or Jerry...somethin' who cares? His hand DID hurt, by the way.
No charges were pressed. No one was thrown out. A punch had been thrown and landed, and settled with a drunk slurring joke and a bought drink.
After my beer, I paid my tab, walked out, got sick in the side street, and felt like hell in the morning. No bruise on my cheek the next day, so he must have just tapped me enough to knock me backwards a bit.
He was lucky I was drunk. Had he hit me sober, I probably would have flattened the little bastard.

And that my friends, is how i was beaten up by a leprechaun in an Irish Pub.
Is the tale tall or not...I'll never tell;)

Jake
 
I think Jerry just got me with verbal tactics. The Force as a strong influence on the weak minded. I guess the fight's off.

No sweat. I needed to nurse my imaginary hangover anyway.
 
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