Funeral

[Random]

I’ve just returned from taking my son to his friend’s funeral. It was just one of those accidents that happen I guess. He was killed when his ATV rolled on top of him. He was only 10. My son is taking this well, all things considered. My reason for posting this? As I hugged the mother of this little boy, she said to me, “Hug him while you can. Tell him you love him everyday.” If you haven’t held you kids today and told them how much you love them, you might want to.

 

[Ken C.]

Thanks for the reminder as sad as it is.

 

[shaldag]

If you haven’t held you kids today and told them how much you love them, you might want to.

no kidding. And these kind of things can only emphasize it.

 

[L6steel]

Same thing the other way around too, Random.
I just buried my Father.
Even though we knew he was sick, lung cancer, it still came on sudden at the end. He was doing pretty good and then blammo, he couldn't walk or talk or eat or drink. In three days he went from normal to ICU then to a Hospice, which he was in for three days.
We have to let all our loved ones and our friends know how much they mean to us!
One blessing I had in knowing my Father was dieing is that I had time to make peace with him. I thank God for that! Us Coopers are hard headed people, especially with each other and there were lots of things to apologize for.
I'm so sorry for the parent's for the loss of the 10 year old and for your son for the loss of a friend!

 

[Random]

Same thing the other way around too, Random.
I just buried my Father.
I thank God for that! Us Coopers are hard headed people, especially with each other and there were lots of things to apologize for.

I'm very sorry about the loss of your father. I truly am. While I have some minor issues from my childhood, my dad and I are on good terms. However it's been a long time since I've told him that I love him. Thanks.

 

[cockroachfarm]

....One blessing I had in knowing my Father was dieing is that I had time to make peace with him....QUOTE]

My sincere condolences on your loss, Michael. I'm glad that you were able to do that. My sister and my father entered into a very bitter estrangement a few months ago and it is very painful to watch.

 

[cockroachfarm]

.... If you haven’t held you kids today and told them how much you love them, you might want to.....

My daughter is 24 and my son is 27 and they have both moved back home in the past two years. I hug each of them at least once each day. And the best part - they hug me back.

 

[Guyon]

I am sorry for the loss of your son's friend. It's true you should often tell and show your children just how much you love them.

I don't want to hijack the thread or paint blame, but I do want to point out that an ATV rolling over a 10-year-old isn't "just one of those accidents that happen." A ten-year-old has little business on an ATV unless riding is supervised and on a relatively flat surface. ATV's don't roll unless two conditions are present--excessive speed & turning and/or fairly extreme slope. I feel sorry for the mother who has to remember this lesson for the rest of her life.

Don't just love your children. Pay attention to their activities and remind them what is safe.

 

[guildknivesandtools]

I was a supervisor for 911 Fire/Rescue for 24 years. I can attest that those things happen and probably more frequently than anyone would think. My children are grown now but we never as parents stop worrying about them and I always end my conversation with I love you to them. You are in my prayers for your loss.-Lisa

 

[Guyon]

Lisa, I agree. And I understand this case was truly an accident. My point was simply that parents have a duty to try to foresee accidents and head them off.

We can't be everywhere or see everything, even if we try. Parenting is one of the scariest jobs in the world because of all the unknown. I remember jumping ramps on my bicycle when I was 10. Without any sort of helmet or safety equipment. A wrong fall and I could have died too, I suppose. My parents probably thought I was just out back riding in circles.

Still, it angered me a little when I imagined a 10-year-old on a full-sized ATV and doing maneuvers that would lead to a roll. Seemed to defy logic. Those are big machines, and it's hard for a full grown man to "manhandle" one--let alone a 10-year-old. Who knows though? Maybe I'm assuming too much. Maybe it was one of the little mini-ATVs that just got out of control.

I know it's easy to be a Monday morning quarterback, but I do hope that anyone who reads about this case learns something from it.

 

[maximus otter]

I am sorry for the loss of your son's friend, but I do want to point out that an ATV rolling over a 10-year-old isn't "just one of those accidents that happen." A ten-year-old has little business on an ATV.

As you Yanks say, "Can I get an amen?"

"Children + petrol" often = "bad idea."

maximus otter

 

[Random]

A ten-year-old has little business on an ATV unless riding is supervised and on a relatively flat surface. ATV's don't roll unless two conditions are present--excessive speed & turning and/or fairly extreme slope.

I’m sure those thought have been going through their minds. It wasn’t a full sized ATV. These are farm people and he and his cousins have been riding those things for a couple of years now. Would I have let my son ride one when I wasn’t there? No. But I wasn’t trying to pass any judgments. The message was simple.

 

[Guyon]

I’m sure those thought have been going through their minds. It wasn’t a full sized ATV. These are farm people and he and his cousins have been riding those things for a couple of years now. Would I have let my son ride one when I wasn’t there? No. But I wasn’t trying to pass any judgments. The message was simple.

Message received and confirmed.

And even as the parent in me insists that ten-year-olds don't belong on ATVs without supervision, I realize that "farm people" have different standards of how they engage the outdoors, right or wrong as they may be. I grew up as "farm people." When I was fourteen and fifteen, I used to drive my dad's pickup unsupervised along paved county roads down to the river, where I would canoe and flyfish by myself for hours. Some of the best, most reflective times of my life. Yes, I was breaking the law by driving, but this was farm country and no one minded. Yes, I could have flipped the canoe and drowned, but I had been taught how to handle myself in a canoe. Yes, I might have been bitten by a water mocassin and died from poison, but I knew to keep an eye out. In retrospect, through my parent eyes, it was a decidedly dangerous activity. At the time though, it was pure heaven.

I sometimes wrestle with whether I'll let my own son have that kind of unsupervised liberty when he's fifteen. I don't have any answers, really. Time will tell.