Funniest thing that's happened while out

foxyrick

foxyrick

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This doesn't quite fit in the weirdest, so a new thread...

I was backpacking the Pennine Way many years ago, and had camped on a mountainside somewhere.

In the morning, I needed to do what bears do in the woods. Since it was completely deserted, I just dug a hole a short distance from the tent; completely in the open - no woods here. Great view!

While in mid flow, I heard a rumbling sound. Suddenly, two Harrier jets came into view doing low level fun stuff. One just over my head (it felt like a few feet but must have been much more) and the other actually level with me.

I swear I could make out the pilot's helmeted head looking right at me while I answered the call of nature!

So much for deserted.

Rick.
 
hahahahahah that is one of the funniest things ive heard. It almost sounds like some cheesy outdoors comedy.

One time i was in Beuna Vista CO. mountain biking with a friend. He had gotten an upset stomach and had an urgent call of duty. of course the only thing around was fresh pine cones, and i think we can all agree that's not the best TP. For the rest of the ride i wouldnt let him lead cause i would catch wind of his poorly wiped ass. :) Does anyone have a funny non poop story??
 
I was walking through an area where both sides of the trail were covered in fairly dense ferns. All of a sudden I heard a noise to my left, so I turned just in time to see something leaping at my face. Out of instinct I ducked a bit and moved my arms in front of my face. The creature collided with my arms and fell to the ground. Having no idea what it was at this point, I drew my knife and got ready to defend myself. However, when I looked down at the ground, I realized it was a grouse. The grouse just stood up, and as quickly as it had flown at my face, it scurried off back into the thick ferns. It certainly got my adrenaline flowing for a minute, but once I realized it was a grouse I couldn't help but laugh.
 
The grouse story reminds me of another, on the same Pennine trip.

I had climbed over a stone wall in the middle of nowhere to shelter from the wind and rain, and pitched there for the night in an empty field.

Sometime in the night, I was awoken by a really stange noise, coming from outside the tent but right next to my head. Hard to put into words, but sort of a scrunch or crump. It repeated at random intervals of several to a few tens of seconds. The night was pitch black and raining quite hard; there was no sound other than the scrunch and the rain. I got quite spooked after a minute or so; I coudn't imagine what it was but I have a very active imagination...

Quietly, I drew my Al Mar Pathfinder (double-edged heavy machete) which was always kept nearby and, as quickly as I could, unzipped the tent and darted out, knife ready to strike.

What danger did I meet? A cow, which had been busy pulling grass up by the roots around my tent. I was just glad no-one was around to see me standing there, naked and dripping wet, facing down a hungry cow who just looked at me and went back to chewing.

Cows indeed!

Rick.
 
Last summer on day 4 we took a lay over day on a lake called Fourtown, anyway the fishing hadn't been very good, which sucked because 2 of the guys are big fisherman. Well we start catching walleye, bass, and a couple perch the guys are watering at the mouth talking about how there going to treat us with their shorelunch techniques, sounds good to me.
So I'm walking to my canoe to grab some bug dope when I notice a little brown dude looking at me, and hay it's a otter, it left pretty quick, and he took my new SS stringer with, but he left a few fish heads and tails and a half eaten bass which one of the guys wanted to cook.
The best part was the fish quit biting, they loved that part.


Helle
 
jarlaxle said:
. :) Does anyone have a funny non poop story??
Click to expand...

No, heres another funny poop story.

Last winter well camping on manitoulin island with a few other friends, we decided to bring along a 2L can of fruit cocktail, man that was alot of fruit. well after forcing it down cus there was so much, it didnt take long till we all had bad case of the diarrhea. well all at once we all started fighting over the toilet. I'm glad i got to go first, cus as soon as i was done i remembered i had a box of IMODIUM (don't leave home with out it!!!). what makes this story s funny, is that i decided not to tell anyone that i had it. so well they were fighting over the bathroom for the rest of the day, i was sitting in my chair enjoy the show and laughing. Should have seen there faces the next day i told them about the imodium, priceless. kind of a jerk thing to do, but they would have done the same thing.

Heres a picture of the toilet my friends fought over.
FIL4.jpg
 
matthew krissak said:
No, heres another funny poop story.

Last winter well camping on manitoulin island with a few other friends, we decided to bring along a 2L can of fruit cocktail, man that was alot of fruit. well after forcing it down cus there was so much, it didnt take long till we all had bad case of the diarrhea. well all at once we all started fighting over the toilet. I'm glad i got to go first, cus as soon as i was done i remembered i had a box of IMODIUM (don't leave home with out it!!!). what makes this story s funny, is that i decided not to tell anyone that i had it. so well they were fighting over the bathroom for the rest of the day, i was sitting in my chair enjoy the show and laughing. Should have seen there faces the next day i told them about the imodium, priceless. kind of a jerk thing to do, but they would have done the same thing.

Heres a picture of the toilet my friends fought over.
FIL4.jpg
Click to expand...


...yeah...yeah, i remember that.... all that fruit salad.... all that time on that smelly chair....you shouldn't have brought that up, i almost forgot about it :grumpy:

oh well i might have to get you back with the old "bacon in the tent trick":D
 
I went to school with a guy who used poison ivy for toilet paper. :D Of course he did NOT think it was very funny, especially about the third day.....................................:eek:

Funniest thing I ever personally witnessed: I was out squirrel hunting earlier this season. Down in a small valley with a creek flowing through it, I could hear a squirrel barking but couldn't spot it. After a few minutes peering through the binoculars, I spotted the squirrel, then something else. There was a spot on the ground twitching, moving the leaves. What in the world is THAT? I looked again, then it fully appeared to me what I was looking at! It was a bobcat, which was stalking the squirrel, in a tree just beside the creek. The bobcat was hunched down, it's tail wagging brushing the leaves on the forest floor, while the squirrel just sat there raising cain. BARK BARK bark bark bark bark bark! I thought for a moment about shooting the bobcat, then decided I wouldn't as I didn't have the money to pay a taxidermist to mount a display for me, and there would be no other purpose to shooting it. Then I thought about something else; I was squirrel hunting anyways, so I'm going to have some fun here in a second! I took careful aim with my .22, and dropped the squirrel into the creek with one shot, while Mr. Bobcat shot about three feet straight up into the air, then hit what appeared to be about Mach 3 getting the heck out of there! Looked like the Roadrunner, zip BANG over the horizon. :D I was laughing so hard I nearly fell into the creek myself.
 
heh, One time a few friends and I were camping awhile ago ( as in when we were kids ) it was pretty late, and as far as I knew I woke up and was the only one up. After I turned over and was listening to the sounds of the woods, I could hear these, little crunching noises, and chewing. I though o' great you know, we've got mice, or a squirrel eatin' our munchies.
So I grabbed for the flash light, shined it to the bottom of the tent and found Jamie going through the goods that another friend of mine, will, had brought with him. So will dives at'em, they start beatin the crap outa each other. It was funnyest thing I can think of. Me and jeremy just, watched and laughed.
This happend at about 3:00 am, I was tired and couldn't stop laughing. Will was that kid we all had over and on the odd ocasion beat up or made fun of. But he still liked us, We didnt hate him, but we all know that kid while growing up that was, well, a sucker :D.

But ya, thinking I was gonna find some animal down there, and to find Jamie hunched over chewin' away, It was good stuff.
 
My most surprising was stepping around a sharp turn and feeling something...soft squirm under my foot. Fortunately, I hadn't stepped down fully and the chipmunk ran off apparently unharmed.
 
I was quail hunting and all of a sudden a quail flew out of the grass right under my feet... almost instinctively snapped the gun around and fired and got a direct hit...


unfortuanatly the bird was only about 4 feet from the shotgun... all I got out of that was feathers...
 
When I was in the infantry in Alaska, we had a guy who was relieving himself on guard duty when it was like 40 below and somehow froze the end of his...err...equipment to the side of a deuce and a half. The funniest part was that all the rest of the guys in the squad took turns standing on the hood of the truck and pissing downward to warm the area so it would release. For a bunch of light infantry guys we were surprisingly inaccurate. Never thought I'd have a guy thank me for urinating on his chest.

Our platoon used to take great pride in making new lieutenants cry. We rolled one down a hill in a Porta-John. When he finally got out he was stained with blue water. He was transferred to another unit but never lost the nickname "Stinky Smurf".

Ahhh...good times.
 
Went camping with the first wife back around 1987 when we were just boyfriend and girlfriend. She copped a morning squat on the other side of a tree and started hopping around the tree in the same position red-faced as a Boy Scout Troop came up the hill and caught the full moon she presented. :D
 
jar,

If you think that's funny, ask me about the time we filled the barrel of the cannon with squid and shaving gel.

Don Rearic,

I feel like I'm addressing a celebrity. Thank you for all the gear reviews you've done and all of the genuinely terrific information you've put out. I'm assuming that this is the real Don Rearic and not somebody trading on your fame. Everybody say, "Thank you, Mr. Rearic."
 
Hey Guys...

We caught this dude and some chick slamm'n like a screen door in the wind!!

That was pretty funny....

For us...

ttyle

Eric
O/ST
 
JStrider said:
I was quail hunting and all of a sudden a quail flew out of the grass right under my feet... almost instinctively snapped the gun around and fired and got a direct hit...


unfortuanatly the bird was only about 4 feet from the shotgun... all I got out of that was feathers...
Click to expand...

GO RED RAIDERS!!

I remember Quail hunting in Childress TX.. Been a few years.. Sure do miss my birthplace! As for the exploding quail, I did something very similar out dove hunting! One whipped around a corner coming right at me. He was about 10 ft out.. All I ended up with was a wings and a handful of feathers.

Sneed Hall rulz! HAHA.. Sorry, had to throw that in as a former Red Raider..
 
Normark said:
Hey Guys...

We caught this dude and some chick slamm'n like a screen door in the wind!!

That was pretty funny....

For us...

ttyle

Eric
O/ST
Click to expand...

If that was down in New MExico.. And you were the jerk on horseback.. THAT WAS ME AND MY WIFE!!

If not.. Great story!
 
Jenner 515 said:
Rescue Mike said:
If that was down in New MExico.. And you were the jerk on horseback.. THAT WAS ME AND MY WIFE!!
Was it just outside Ruidoso in '88? If so, um sorry.
Click to expand...

Oh Man.. That's the right area, wrong time... That's too funny!! We were living in Las Cruces and headed up North to camp.. Wife got a little frisky.. Well, next thing we know, a group on horseback came around a corner. We were MILES from anywhere, and the parking lot 5 miles back was empty!

They got a helluva show!
Click to expand...
Click to expand...
 
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