Funny-stupid story time!

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bladeboss

Joined
Mar 6, 2012
Messages
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Just dropped a knife for the first time..
I can laugh because, luckily, it was cheap.

My fault? Totally. I was being dumb.
I just wanted to share a knife-related story with you guys.

So me and a couple of my friends were hanging out in my barn.
We have a pond nearby. (Necessary info for later)
The front of the barn has a sliding door, where we were sitting, just hanging out chatting.
Its 100% normal for bugs and stuff to fly into the barn at night, seeing how the lights are so bright.

All of a sudden a giant-unknown bug comes flying in.
Slams into the floor. Fairly loudly.
One of my buddies didn't see it and said
"What the hell was that"?
"A big bug." I said.
So, being curious, I went looking for it.
And I found it. It was about 3 or 4 inches long. (A giant bug for my area.)
I wanted to bring it out, just to show them.
Not gonna lie, I was a bit nervous.
I didn't know anything about the bug, and didn't really want to touch it.
So I grabbed my RAT-2, and tried to get it to crawl into it.
But it was almost the same size as the blade, and its "feelers" couldn't grasp it.
It started running all over the floor.
I didn't want to kill it (because I wanted to show them), and I didn't have ANY other way to get it.
So, reluctantly, scared as hell, I stuck my hand down to get it.
Well, it climbed on my arm.
I headed to the door really quickly, and it was running full-speed up my arm.
Now I'm starting to freak out.
Keep in mind, my RAT-2 is still open in my hand.
Well its too late. It's headed to go in my shirt.
I shook my arm in a total panic to get it off me.
And down my RAT-2 goes. Flipping and spinning around.
The bug flies out into the lawn. I looked just in time to see the tip smash into the concrete.
I'm really shocked at how well it held up, really.
Thank god it wasn't my Sebenza.

And now I'm in my house assessing the damage.
A couple cuts in the handle, rolled tip, and the centering is messed up.
Here's the bug. From Google. I never got a pic of the actual one.
Hole you enjoyed my story. :)
Now that I've researched it, its somewhat poisonous and known to kill fish, frogs, and bite humans.
"Giant water bug" I guess it's called.
giant%20water%20bug2_big_zpslnl6hxom.jpg
 
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I know exactly what you mean, we have them here as well I think our variety is California Water bug. We had similar encounter when one landed on our deck. I heard this thwud and there it was. Anyway ... it sent the women and children screaming and heading for cover so I had to man up and get rid of it. Maybe if you live in Australia these wouldn't seem like a big bug, but they sure do in our part of the world. They are pretty prehistoric looking and this one kind of made a hissing or buzzing sound any way, some how I managed to throw it over the fence.

Good story, sucks to wreck anything but your right could have been worse and have seen one of these personally I get it completely.
 
I got the knife fixed up pretty good.
Centering is back and the rolls and chips are fixed.
Character. :D
 
Funny story! If it had been my wife she would have cut her arm off and then stabbed it with her other arm until the concrete chipped away!
 
A guy I used to know had a large beetle fly over his head. He had his knife out whittling. He tried fanning and at the same time it occurred to him to stab the bug in mid air. His other hand was in the air fanning and...you guessed it...he stabbed himself in the hand.
 
Down here in Florida, we have cockroaches of various heritage: American, Vietnamese or whatever. The larger varieties are always called "waterbugs" which isn't nearly as offensive to the ladies.
 
Haha! You screamed like a school girl when it started crawling full speed up your arm didn't you??
We all know you did.....come on... admit it!! Hahhahah! Glad to hear you got the RAT all fixed up and now full of charectar! Now, you're gonna chuckle each time you use it. Great story man--- thanks for the laugh!
 
My neighbors are elderly, the gentleman has Parkinson's. They had a hornets nest on top of the roof.
Well up I go armed with a push broom handle, the Nazi bastards were after me when I knocked their nest down.
So I am running across the roof with sandals on and swipe at one buzzing my head... I hit my nose and damn near break it during the melee.
Pretty anticlimactic but I am usually more cordinated than that
 
Must be a northern bug cuz I seen one last night in my kids play pool. I have also seen them in my cattle waterer... Their freaking large.
 
No knife involved but similar. So im going in my house the other night as I walk in I feel something substantial hit off my back(I'm thinking wtf was that). So I get in and let my dog out of her crate(60lb pit). Next thing I know this stupid big ass locust is flying around my dinning room. So, my dog starts running around like a goof. Well the locust lands on my ceiling fan light. So, I pull out my broom and try to crush it against the light(didn't want to break the glass on the light). Well that was a freaking fail. This thing starts making this aweful sound like a injured bird or something, Then proceeds to wildly fly around the room while making this sound. So my pit goes from trying to catch it to walking backwards out of the room freaked out with her head cocked sideways(it was priceless). Then here I am swinging the broom wildly like im mcguire swinging for the fences. So, the thing lands and I cant find it. So I pull the dog crate away from the wall and the bastard is sitting there staring at me(knowing it at least won the mental battle). I smack it with the broom and it does nothing, by this time Im pissed so I pin it down with the hairs of the broom, and I look like the patriot(hatchet scene when he goes nuts lol) I'm kneeling on the floor hammer fisting the broom bristle till I hear no noise. Then I look over at the dog and its looking at me like im insane(at this point I'm pretty sure she's right lol). Thank god my neighbors can't see in my windows or they would have thought the same. A freaking locust stole my heart lol. I kept more composed in combat in afghanistan when I was in the Marines lol. Yep all over a bug.
 
Topcatpt said:
No knife involved but similar. So im going in my house the other night as I walk in I feel something substantial hit off my back(I'm thinking wtf was that). So I get in and let my dog out of her crate(60lb pit). Next thing I know this stupid big ass locust is flying around my dinning room. So, my dog starts running around like a goof. Well the locust lands on my ceiling fan light. So, I pull out my broom and try to crush it against the light(didn't want to break the glass on the light). Well that was a freaking fail. This thing starts making this aweful sound like a injured bird or something, Then proceeds to wildly fly around the room while making this sound. So my pit goes from trying to catch it to walking backwards out of the room freaked out with her head cocked sideways(it was priceless). Then here I am swinging the broom wildly like im mcguire swinging for the fences. So, the thing lands and I cant find it. So I pull the dog crate away from the wall and the bastard is sitting there staring at me(knowing it at least won the mental battle). I smack it with the broom and it does nothing, by this time Im pissed so I pin it down with the hairs of the broom, and I look like the patriot(hatchet scene when he goes nuts lol) I'm kneeling on the floor hammer fisting the broom bristle till I hear no noise. Then I look over at the dog and its looking at me like im insane(at this point I'm pretty sure she's right lol). Thank god my neighbors can't see in my windows or they would have thought the same. A freaking locust stole my heart lol. I kept more composed in combat in afghanistan when I was in the Marines lol. Yep all over a bug.
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Thanks for the good laugh.
 
I was just reading up on this bug, supposedly has the most painful bite of all insects. Thankfully its to cold for them up here in the Chi.
 
Hate to bust your bubble but I'm at the very tip of Michigan and we have them here, also bladeboss is in new York...
K.O.D. said:
I was just reading up on this bug, supposedly has the most painful bite of all insects. Thankfully its to cold for them up here in the Chi.
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shinyedges said:
Hate to bust your bubble but I'm at the very tip of Michigan and we have them here, also bladeboss is in new York...
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Uh oh...

Well at least it just hurts but won't kill ya.
 
shinyedges said:
Squish em, that's my theory.. if its close enough to bite or sting me and I'm in fear... splat. Lol
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These boots were made for squishin, and that's just what they'll do...
 
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