Games for the older folks

[Raymond Richard]

1. Sag, you're it.
2. Hide and go pee.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket.
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Musical recliners.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy.

SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE:
1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.
3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.

OLD IS WHEN:
1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
3. Getting a little action means you don't need fiber today.
4 Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!

Thoughts for the weekend

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctr Alt Delete' and start all over?

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

But Most Of All, Remember
A Good Friend Is Like A Good Bra: Hard to Find,
Supportive, Comfortable, And Always Close To Your Heart

 

[fitzo]

It's sad how funny that becomes when you experience a lot of it on a daily basis.

 

[Steve Hayden]

The Cat In The Hat

On Ageing​

​

I cannot see
I cannot pee
I cannot chew
I cannot screw
Oh my god, what can I do?

My memory shrinks
My hearing stinks
No sense of smell
I look like hell
My mood is bad-can you tell?

My body’s drooping
Have trouble pooping
The Golden Years
Have come at last
The Golden Years-can kiss my ass:jerkit:

 

[fitzo]

Amen to that, Steve! First person tells me I'm in my Golden Years I'll beat 'em with my cane if they'll stand still long enough.

 

[Walt2]

Whoever said that life starts at 50 did not know what the h*ll they were talking about.

 

[Raymond Richard]

Whoever said that life starts at 50 did not know what the h*ll they were talking about.

I'm sure I heard on the news that middle age now starts at 60. All this time I thought I was an oldman and now I find out I've got alittle less than 4 months till I hit middle age. Makes me feel so much younger now I'm going to chance going without my Depends and feel the thrill.

 

[Steve Hayden]

Well, I guess I just hit middle age this summer. I still stand behind at least selected parts of the Cat in the Hat selection above.

 

[Walt2]

By that age standard, I am well past the middle age time frame.

 

[jdm61]

I am 45 and have lost about 100 lbs over the last 2 1/2 years and guess what? 45 year old skin does NOT spring back, so i'm not sure what i am going to do with this change purse that i now have stiched right about my nether regions. The good news is that, after the weight loss, attractive young women now give me that "friendly greeting" look in stores. The bad news is that the fat was filling out the wrinkles, so when they get closer, they take it back...lol. Sorry, SIR...yipe!!!! However, because i had lasik a few years back, i didn't have to buy reading glasses until last year. That was a relief, albeit temporary. And yes, the whole "late night pilgrimage to the bathroom" thing is upon me