Haha Paul, you don't sugar coat stuff do ya?
Fortunately the strap wouldn't need the scutes disturbed. It'll be quite wide, but that works for me given my style. I'm thinking I'll line it with pigskin because the flesh side is nothing close to flat. Then put a line of eyelets on either end and use cord or leather lace to tie it up. Just gotta figure out how to incorporate some color.
I'll see if I can dig up a pic of something similar.
Edit-
Very similar to this only black.
Definitely not everyone's style, but it would work for me pretty well.