Give Me Some Idea ?

A

adamzielskemlee

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Sep 11, 2014
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Ok i just ask a question about my marriage and the question is that i love someone and wanna do marriage with her but my parents don't agree with that so what can i do ? because i don't want to hurt my parents
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Give me some ideas to handle all these things?
 
Well, I just went through something quite similar. I think that the main thing that matters is your happiness, if this woman makes you happy and you feel in your heart that she's the one for you, then I hope that your parents can see that she makes you happy and that should make them happy. My mother (dad left before I was born) was always very protective of me but when she saw how happy I am with my wife, she understood that we should be together. On the other hand, her grandparents (she was taken by the foster care system) never liked me, yelled that she was going to be just another teen pregnancy, that I was going to kidnap her, she's just a stupid teenager, tha she doesn't know what love is, and a bunch of other stuff. They still don't like me and think I'm a failure at everything and a complete idiot, but we still visit and do everything we can to keep our families together, and we make it work. Now we actually have a little boy on the way and I know that even if I don't agree with his choice, I will always want him to be happy.

If you don't mind me asking a personal question, why don't they like the idea of you two getting married?
 
I agree. I've been in a similar situation before and the main thing is to do whatever makes you happy man. Your parents are always gonna be your parents, they should come around when they realize its what makes you happy. Because in the end that's what all parents want right? For their children to be happy.
 
I would try to look at things from their point of view a bit. But ultimately it is your decision regardless. If she is the right one, your parents will eventually come around.
 
a) Your parents are probably smarter than you due to experience.
b) Hopefully they're smart enough to understand that their kids must learn for themselves, for good or bad.

If you're twelve years old, I agree with your parents: Don't get married yet. :D
 
First, how old are you?
Second, are there cultural expectations, as in they want you to marry someone from a specific culture or background?
If so, is she of that culture or background?
Third, are you completely financially independent of your parents? Should you marry this girl, and they cut you off, will you survive financially?
Fourth, how old is she? If she is under 23, I can say with a certain degree of certainty, that she will be very different by the time she is 25.
Fifth, what kind of time frame are you looking at in getting married?
There is no rush to tie the knot, take your time, spend time with each other's parents and really get to know each other. Give up any bad habits you may have and put your best foot forward, and make sure she does the same. Both of you should dress respectfully (no tank tops, ripped shorts, etc).

Best of luck.
 
Are you sure you are mature enough to get married? I only ask because posting this question just seems like you don't have a clue. If you can't decide for yourself, without advise from total strangers, maybe you should wait until you can make the decision on your own.
 
How old are you? I ask that seriously because if you are 18 or so you might be jumping into things too quick. If you're 30 then its different.

I think that you should step back and try to view why your parents are taking that position, and whether they have valid points. Don't argue with them, that will only get the blood boiling.

Ultimately, you have to live the life that makes you happy.

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."

I've taken this quote from the bible to mean that a husband and wife must be a "team" and cannot let outside forces dictate their lives. If you go with her, your parents have to understand that they have to treat her civilly.
 
Elope and live with the results of your choice.
Forever.

How long have you known her and how old are you both ?

Why are divorces so expensive ? :)

DC
 
You leave your parents when you marry another. Known as leave and cleave. Leave your parents. Cleave onto one another. Even biblical -

“Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’" And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” (From Matthew 19 - NLT) That and other New Testament citations reference instructions found way back in Genesis 2 which is why they are quoted in what Jesus said above.

I've been married 30 years. Though we had been acquainted a bit longer, I asked my wife to marry me 3 weeks after our first date. We married 8 months later. It wasn't that I wanted to live the rest of my life with her but that I didn't want to live the rest of my life without her. The difference is subtle, but it is different. We chose each other and would have been married even had my parents, her parents, or both sets of parents disagreed.
 
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Marriage is not something you can change like you do your shirt, once you have committed yourself. It stays with you for life, even if you divorce. It is a life-changing decision. I think the first thing I would do is sit down with my father, man to man, and ask him why they do not favor your marrying this girl. They may see something that you cannot see because they have more life experience. It may not be something particular about this girl, but something they see in the two of you. In the USA, today, it is too common to be a youth oriented culture and ignore the life experience and hard earned wisdom of older people. The older I get the smarter my father now appears to me (boy, was I stupid with I was a young man!).
 
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