Handgun Help..... errrr.. ahhh, help!?!

Z

ZombiesEatFree

Joined
Dec 7, 2009
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145
OK so here's the deal. I've always been a watch, gun, knife, yoyo, gadget ect... 56pe of guy. Been shooting since I was like heck 7 or 8ish. My parents bought me my first gun a 10/22 with I about 11 or 12, and I bought my first Remington870 when I turned 13. I've always loved, admired and respected handguns. Be it the intratce beauty of a nice 1911 or the simplistic reliability of a Glock they are all works of art. So being brought up around guns I'm very comfortable and respectful of them. My wife on the other hand was not brought up around guns has never shot so much as a BB gun and refuses to do so. The .22 I was given by my parents as a gift and have no intentions of getting rid of it so my wife chooses to ignore it, ouuta sight outta mind I guess. I live in the red state on NY and this year I applied for my pistol permit $150 and 6 months later I got approved for my permit. Here is where I need some help!!!! She doesn't approve of my bringing a pistol into the house. She didn't *forbid* it, but if I bring one into the house it's going to piss her off! I've tried to talk to her about her concerns and of course I do understand them. But I can't even have a conversation with her about it without her becoming agitated about it. I validated some of her concerns and tried to address them;
-safety, such as getting stolen, or someone finding it who shouldn't
*my offering of a solution: buy a safe and hide the safe keeping the gun in the safe with a barrel lock on it. In a second lockbox keep the magazine and ammo.

-worried about me injuring myself, either intentional or unintentional
*I assured he if I were to hurt myself on purpose I would NEVER use a gun! Now I know saying that isn't reassuring and I'd never attempt suicide... BUT if I were to I would never make her clean that mess up! Nor would I give anti-gun people fuel! There would be so many other ways to go!!! As for the un-intentional injury, I can't live in a bubble right?? I also told her I'd be taking as many classes as I could to sharpen my skills.

-Safety of children
*we don't have any!!

I'm trying to get her to understand that I want to be able to feel safe in my home and be proactive in keeping our lives safe! I love my wife with all my heart and am willing to die, go to jail or whatever need be to protect her. But I also want to respect her wishes!!! I know I could get a pistol, she would be pissed but get over it after a long while but that's not how I want it to go.

At this point it doesn't matter much anyways, all the money I have been saving for a Glock or Sig went to buy her some shoes. She's been having problems with her feet and would NEVER spend the $$$ on really good shoes so I surprised her with some really nice ones! ahhh the things we do for love.....

Anyone have any ideas on how to coax her into becoming more gun friendly?? Or better yet getting her to say piss off to frivolous bills like heat water and buy me a G26 or the Sig 2 Sum??? Thanks for listening!!!

**sorry for any spelling and/or grammatical errors, I'm half asleep**
 
Better to have it and NOT use it than to really NEED it and not have it at all.

I can't believe I lived in California for a good 32 yrs before moving to Texas. I was either lucky or didn't look for trouble.

Now that I have a family, it's not about protecting myself but it's also about protecting my loved-ones.

When someone asks me 'why do you have a gun?' or 'why do you carry?', my answer's been always the same:

To defend myself;
To protect my loved ones;
To defend myself in order to protect my loved ones.
 
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I just don't know how to get her to become more gun friendly. She's been so jaded by mass media. that's where I think my wall is!!
 
I think we should all own at least one gun. With that being said the last gun i bought i also bought a ring for the miss. That seamed to work well for me but my old lady likes guns because I do if not for me I dont think she would have ever held a gun
 
Take her to a shooting range sometime. Tell her it would mean a lot to you. Give her nice shoes first. :)
 
penenpitsu said:
Take her to a shooting range sometime. Tell her it would mean a lot to you. Give her nice shoes first. :)
Click to expand...

:thumbup: I've changed many a mind (male & female) by getting them out to the range. Everybody "hates guns" till the got one in their hands!!!
 
my wife hated guns when we met...She saw someone get shot off her front porch when she as young by some gangbanger, and watched him die on her moms lawn.

She was 100% ignorant about them. One day, I just brought home a shotgun. We talked, I warmed her up SLOWLY to them, and after some time, she was convinced I know what im doing, and am well trained in all aspects with one.

The key is not to rush her. Just ease her into one. Show her you have the training. If you dont have any formal defensive training, get some. Not only will it show her that you have a desire to learn, but it could save your life.

Im sure she will come around bro. Trust me. My wife loves to shoot my guns with me now, and knows how to use them very well.
 
I am going out on a limb here, but I assume you are not a LEO or Security or the like, right?

If so, maybe this will help. may not, cause I just thought of it. But I thought it was worth mentioning.

Enroll yourself in some classes and make it well known to her that you are taking classes to make sure you can handle the weapon safely in all aspects. After you take a few, find her a class with women in it with a female instructer and get her in it. She will feel less intimadated by the absence of men and will be able to relate to the female intructer.

Just a thought... good luck bro, and I wish you well. Times like this I am reminded how lucky I am with a wife that likes to shoot...
 
Look in to v-line safes. They're the best solution for a locked away handgun that's still quickly accessed IMO. Also explain to her that if you follow the basic rules of firearm handling they're safer than automobiles.
 
When anyone asks me about the gun I carry I (of course) assume they don't.

So I say, "To protect YOU... you're welcome." ;)

It took my wife 9 years to be ok with me getting a gun. It's been two years now and she is still good with it. She knows I'm responsible and have it to protect our family.

I've never given her a reason NOT to trust me with it.

Maybe you could tell your wife that. :thumbup:
 
My wife had never even held a real gun when we met. We went camping one weekend and i carried a few .22 revolvers. She shot them enjoyed the shit out of it and i bought 3 new guns the next winter. Just ease her into it she'll come around.
 
I would buy it and wrap it and put it under the Christmas tree and swear that Santa left it for you. Remember don't give in, stick to your story. I did this last year with an AR and every time I get it out my wife says "Is that the gun Santa gave you?" I say 'yep" and I go on my way.
 
our local indoor pistol range has "ladies' handgun classes" - basically teaching pistol safety & handling with .22's in the presence of other women, which somehow makes it feel less threatening.
If you can get her to agree to attend one of these - and show her you are willing to attend some trainings as well, she may ease into seeing things your way.
My wife doesn't like guns, but she knows I'm familiar enough, well trained enough, and have enough common sense not to be a hazard, so she doesn't stress over them badly. (I also had the guns in the house before I met her, so she didn't have a lot of choice in the matter)

also check J&G sales - last I knew they still had some of the German built Sig P6 (p225) pistols - which are a very nice compact 8 shot 9mm, for less than $400 delivered. these are European police trade in's, and are in great shape.
 
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Sorry to hear about the big stink. It is somewhat common though, so you're not alone.

A comment you will hear from time to time is "you're more likely to get your gun taken away from you and be killed with it than use it in self defense." Bullshit. That's a training issue. Owning and handgun and thinking you know everything about how to use it is like owning a guitar and thinking you're a musician. Anway, I'm BIG on training all all kinds.

Start slow and try to be as nice about it as you can, but buy your gun. Buy a good pistol safe, secure it to the wall and or floor. Sounds like the safe and training should cover all her concerns but it doesn't sound like she's being too logical about it.

Eventually she will get used to the idea and maybe some day down the road she will let you introduce her to shooting. She has a fear of it because she knows nothing about it other than what has been pumped in to her brain from other non-gun people, tv, etc.

+1 on the ladies only shooting courses. I'm planning to put one together myself actually.
 
Take her shooting, get her involved & interested in the target practice aspect of it, shooting at paper or tin cans, if she is competitive she may love it. Start w/ a .22lr pistol which has less recoil & bang= less shock and fear. The recoil of a large caliber can cause her to be gun shy, so take caution. This method worked for me. One day I did what my wife wanted me to do with her for a while (and I hated it), and the next day it was my turn at a special activity, and in the end my wife said it was fun. I told my wife that later in life we could go to the range together, and she likes the idea. Stick to your guns & Dont give up!
 
Honestly, this is important enough of a topic that I think it's worth her being mad about it. Get the gun, bring it home, teach her basic gun saftey if she wants to learn it or not and then let the shitstorm blow over.
 
when i first met my girlfriend, i knew she was 100% anti gun. she knew i had some but decided to ignore it. when we first moved in together, she didn't want to know where they were, how to use them or anything. so i respected her wishes and never brought them up or showed her. well, we moved out of my apartment and into a new house together a few months ago and she's starting to see the benefits of having the guns. she's been asking questions and she's finally agreed to go learn how to use them in case she's home alone at night. it's not going to come quick, it's a slow process and you need to be patient with her. however, you have to realize that you need to protect yourself and your family. you can't let her stop you from doing that.

buy the gun, bring it home. make sure she knows, don't hide it and give her time to get over it and finally come around and embrace the idea of it.
 
I totally agree with Shotgunner, it's to important of an issue to not have one these days. If you do get one, she will get over it in time. Also, try enroll her in a class so she can understand where you are coming from, though that's not always easy. Get a small gun safe to keep it in which might help to.
 
let someone else teach her. I know. my wife went from never touching a gun to one of the top shooters in the southeast! I was one of the best master shooters around here but she said she wanted someone else to teach her.
 
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