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- Mar 5, 1999
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Had the sonargram today. The tech who did the test is maybe 22 years old with a degree and one year experience so take the following with that in mind.
She told me the cyst on the left kidney was indeed a cyst which is good news -- not malignant. Lesions do not appear to be caused by a malignancy. Liver has a couple of very small tumors not worth worrying about. Right kidney (the one I almost lost when I was in Nepal) is clear and is functioning almost normally. So, if the left has to go in the future I still have one that is working well enough to keep me off machines.
And I'd like everybody to know that I'm not crying wolf when I encounter these difficulties almost everyone encounters in life. Here's my reasoning for looking at things as I do.
On the philosophical side I learned years back to prepare myself for the worst possible case in any situation. This I find not to be a pessimistic outlook but a very practical one. I've seen people fall apart when the doctor comes out and tells them the prognosis is terminal and that I refuse to do. I've watched Yangdu fall into a useless, helpless heap on the floor when she was told I might die. When things go badly as they have been for the past week of so Yangdu is of no use whatsoever and I end up having to take care of myself and her, also. She has not learned to prepare for worst case scenarios and she is not alone.
So, if there is a postive side to all this it may be this: Try to develop the ability to meet worst cases head on. Do whatever it might take. This will serve you well. And, when the worst case does not fall down on your head you feel like you've hit the jackpot and life becomes more meaningful and wonderful and you appreciate things that others might take for granted.
I also am a firm believer in the power of prayer. Lama Jigme, Samten, a chorus of 60 monks at Swayambunath, family, and my fine, wonderful pals here have all been sending up smoke in their own fashion. I know this has helped and there is no way I can repay these deeds except to say thanks a million and know that deep appreciate is there and always will be.
Thanks again all but remember this is based on the evaluation of a 22 year old kid with a year in the racket. The radiologist may have a completely different story (worst case again!)
She told me the cyst on the left kidney was indeed a cyst which is good news -- not malignant. Lesions do not appear to be caused by a malignancy. Liver has a couple of very small tumors not worth worrying about. Right kidney (the one I almost lost when I was in Nepal) is clear and is functioning almost normally. So, if the left has to go in the future I still have one that is working well enough to keep me off machines.
And I'd like everybody to know that I'm not crying wolf when I encounter these difficulties almost everyone encounters in life. Here's my reasoning for looking at things as I do.
On the philosophical side I learned years back to prepare myself for the worst possible case in any situation. This I find not to be a pessimistic outlook but a very practical one. I've seen people fall apart when the doctor comes out and tells them the prognosis is terminal and that I refuse to do. I've watched Yangdu fall into a useless, helpless heap on the floor when she was told I might die. When things go badly as they have been for the past week of so Yangdu is of no use whatsoever and I end up having to take care of myself and her, also. She has not learned to prepare for worst case scenarios and she is not alone.
So, if there is a postive side to all this it may be this: Try to develop the ability to meet worst cases head on. Do whatever it might take. This will serve you well. And, when the worst case does not fall down on your head you feel like you've hit the jackpot and life becomes more meaningful and wonderful and you appreciate things that others might take for granted.
I also am a firm believer in the power of prayer. Lama Jigme, Samten, a chorus of 60 monks at Swayambunath, family, and my fine, wonderful pals here have all been sending up smoke in their own fashion. I know this has helped and there is no way I can repay these deeds except to say thanks a million and know that deep appreciate is there and always will be.
Thanks again all but remember this is based on the evaluation of a 22 year old kid with a year in the racket. The radiologist may have a completely different story (worst case again!)
